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I am stuck

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by faceup, Apr 7, 2019.

  1. faceup

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So last year I came out to my latents and they took pretty well, but since I came out they didn't ask any questions or anything,so pretty sure thwt are fine.

    I want to come out to my friend but I have no idea how:frowning2: we know eachother for over 20 years and I never share something personal, and I am afraid of his reaction.

    Sometimes I ask myself if by coming out things will get better.

    I think I might look for some therapy or something..
    I have no clue what to do.
    :frowning2:
     
  2. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

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    faceup.....Therapy is a good idea if....1) You are ready to listen to the therapist and are willing to be completely open when asked to consider something. There were times early on in my therapy that I would come back a week after answering a question “No” to change my answer to “Yes”. My initial reaction was to give an answer that seemed to be the “right’ answer. After thought, and some serious, painful honesty, I would change my answer. I think that most of the time, my therapist knew I wasn’t being totally honest. And....2) You need to find the right therapist. Check their website....see what they say abut themselves. What do they list as their specialities? Do they work with the LGBTQ Family? Are they LGBTQ themselves? Look at the “whole package” that they represent...will that person be the right one for you? Therapy has made a world of difference for me...it can help you too.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  3. starmotive

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    Since I don't know anything about where you live I'm just going to throw a bunch of questions at you? Do you live in a religious town? Are there a lot of homophobic people in your area? Does your friend know any other gay people? How is he with them? Have you ever had any conversations with him about finding guys attractive, etc?

    Unfortunately you can't ever know if coming out will make things better or worse. But only come out if you are ready and you feel safe.

    Therapy can be helpful for some people (it was for me). It can be useful to have a third person to throw your worries at and talk things through with them. They might ask you questions that make you think about what you want to do.

    As for your friend, I can't tell you what to do, but personally I would tell him. If he cannot accept who you are and be happy for you, then he does not deserve to be in your life. As harsh as it sounds, if he has a problem with you being gay, he is not the right friend for you.

    All the best