1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I am crushing so hard

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    681
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would be scared too! (I tend to be a stay on the safe side of the sidewalk type person. Not that it has served me well!) However, the fact is you were considering moving to NYC prior to the hurricane anyway if I remember correctly. So it's not like this would be some way out or impulsive idea! And I think @silverhalo makes a good point here. You can always go back. If you can stay with your cousin for a bit there won't be the pressure of having to commit to a lease on an apartment. And it will give you the opportunity to check out some job opportunities.

    So A has followed you on Instagram! :cartwheel::tada: Must have been the backwards baseball cap! :wink:
     
    NeonSocks likes this.
  2. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    you are right. I need to keep reminding myself that this isn't impulse. A lot of people are leaving the island because things are hard here, and they are getting torn apart, but I wanted to leave before the storm! Now I feel a little guilty.

    And on the backwards cap, my friend who saw me says I looked 0% gay LOL
     
  3. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The friend who saw you, was she straight? Because I often think gay people can see things that straight people can't.
     
  4. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes she was straight.
     
    silverhalo likes this.
  5. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, here's my update:

    Things are getting slightly better. Lines are shorter in the city and though communications are still awful (this is the 1st time ive had realiable wifi since I last posted), I feel like people are being positive overall.

    I talked to my dad, who's a big business guy, and he recommended I wait until January, as most companies don't hire in November-December. So that way I can help out the island by volunteering these days, spend the holidays with my fam and after that, give NYC a try. Backup plan is contacting my old boss to get a job in Seattle. So we'll see...

    Still can't help but feel super lonely. Now that 15 days have passed and people aren't getting together like in the first days, I find myself alone at night, without any form of entertainment (no wifi, cable, I have books but none that I want to read). I'm just sitting around, contemplating life and trying to be positive.

    Re: Crush girl, she never replied to my message and though Ive been walking around my building a lot, I haven't seen her. I posted a cute boomerang on Instagram and she saw it. That's about it. meh
     
  6. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey it is good to hear from you as always. I'm sorry you are feeling alone. Could you organise some people to get together once a week or something?
    We definitely miss you on here. Don't give up, maybe keep asking around and see if you can help out anywhere else being around people and feeling as though you are making a difference might help you feel better.
     
    Orchidea123 likes this.
  7. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    681
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I am glad you have some reliable wifi now. I know that your EC pals are not 'real life' pals, and that most of us have not been through a natural disaster that like you have experienced. However, I think many of us can relate to the feelings you are experiencing now, loneliness, boredom (even when their are 'valid' forms of entertainment available!). And being caught in our heads late at night, contemplating life...sigh... So keep connecting here, your tribe 'gets it' and is here for support!

    It sounds like you have a solid plan (NYC in Jan.) with a good back up plan (Seattle). Maybe thinking about and planning a move in more detail would be a helpful place to put some energy. A move, scary as it is, is always something to get excited about in the future.

    Take good care of yourself, and keep updating us :slight_smile:
     
    silverhalo likes this.
  8. Orchidea123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    You are doing pretty good for the situation and the duration of it all..
    It must be really tough to deal with lack of normal flow of things.
    But at least it is getting better and you have options and a plan.
    As for the crush - sometimes impossible to read them.. Next time you see her - just be yourself light and friendly. since you are saying there is not much to do - she may be in the same boat (maybe).
     
  9. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    HOLY MACARONI

    SO I POSTED ON FACEBOOK EARLIER ABOUT THIS HALLOWEEN ORCHESTRA CONCERT AND WROTE “who wants to go with me?” AND GUESS WHO SAID “me!”


    DYING. WHAT DO I DO
     
    OED27x, ConfusedTi, NeonSocks and 4 others like this.
  10. junebug99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    557
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Go with her! Have fun! After all you have been through some fun is in order!
     
    Orchidea123 and dreamingfreely like this.
  11. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ok so i answered:

    *ghost emoji* yay!! Ill text you
     
  12. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is so weird. Were like, not friends lol. Omg now im embarrassed bc what if she finds out im gay and thinks i think its a date (i wish). Dont wanna make her uncomfortable.
     
  13. junebug99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    557
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just go as friends. See what happens from there. Just keep it casual and have fun!
     
    dreamingfreely likes this.
  14. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    She posted on her own page the same thing i posted and wrote “who wants to go? I have tickets”

    Meh

    She didnt tell me she had tickets on my post

    Feelin kinda stupid now lol
     
  15. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,415
    Likes Received:
    577
    Location:
    BC
    But she still let you know she was going so... I still think she wants to see you there. :]
     
    idsm, Soundofmusic and Orchidea123 like this.
  16. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't feel bad just go and enjoy her company. If something is meant to be it will be. You haven't made a fool of yourself you are just overthinking everything.
     
    Soundofmusic likes this.
  17. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, I said I'd text her. But seeing that she wrote that she has tickets and is asking on her profile who wants to go with her, I feel it'd be weird of me to text. I'm gonna wait it out a bit. There's still a couple of weeks to go and given that the island is messed up, I doubt the tickets will sell out. In any case, Ill find someone else to go because I REALLY want to go. it would just be a super bonus to go with her, tbh. But I didn't ask her specifically... she was the one that commented.

    Also, lately Ive been "praying" to the universe (after reading an awesome book about manifestations and mental roadblocks), and shit has been coming true. And yesterday I was like "universe send me a sign if this girl is meant to be in my life and also send me someone to makeout with at least" (LOL IM INSANE). And guess what? Not 5 mins later I go into my facebook and saw that she had commented about the concert on my page. So like, manifestations totally work :astonished:

    Another example: Last week I was meditating on the roof of my work building and asked the universe to send me a sign RIGHT NOW about whether or not I should leave the island. IMMEDIATELY an airplane flew right in front of me.

    Anyways, I guess I'm a spiritual person now?
     
    dreamingfreely and NeonSocks like this.
  18. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,415
    Likes Received:
    577
    Location:
    BC
    Oh, text her, you big fool!
    Ask her if she thinks the tickets will sell out because you really want to go.
    Unless you've been texting her every minute of every day, which nobody wants, one text now is not going to be a problem whatsoever. And she's looking for someone to go with! Don't miss this chance. The universe is not going to do everything for you. ;}
     
    junebug99, idsm and dreamingfreely like this.
  19. NeonSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2017
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    744
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    What book was this? I feel like I need some major help with this right now!
     
  20. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is some sound advice.