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I am confused about my arousal patterns?

Discussion in 'Anonymous Sexual Orientation' started by Anonymous, Feb 15, 2018 at 12:25 AM.

  1. Anonymous

    Full Member

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    Hello, I'm a 19 year old female and am confused about her sexuality. I think I can manage most aspects of figuring out my orientation, but I've come on here because I'm most confused about arousal/masturbation, in terms of what makes you what. I think I'm either lesbian or bisexual, and would appreciate any advice regarding this issue.

    Basically, in regards to masturbation, I do it to both genders. However, I've heard that which ever one turns you on more, that's where your sexuality lies. Where it becomes a little confusing, for me, is that I am less confident in my arousal towards males because I'm not sure if I've conditioned it myself. I went into therapy when I was 15 for anxiety, and discussed my sexuality issues with her. I was worried as I felt like I was attracted to males, yet I'd never masturbated to them at that point or fully acknowledged arousal to them. I knew I had loads of crushes on them and found them very all encompassing and attractive, but this worried me nonetheless. So she told me to take away my anxiety when thinking about boys while masturbating, and it worked, and now it's no problem to think about men this way and it feels just as good as females. However, because it didn't come naturally (I masturbated to females first) does this mean it's conditioned?

    Secondly, because of this, when I masturbate to females, it feels more 'natural' as it's what I've always known. Sometimes it's slightly stronger, but males are most of the time just as all encompassing, and I do it to them more now. It also feels slightly different to males, not better nor worse, but like it's coming from a slightly different place in my head. This is also how it feels in my day-to-day attractions to people. Sometimes it's slightly stronger, but males are most of the time just as all encompassing, and I do it to them more now. Does this mean anything?
    Thank you!!
     
  2. Anonymous

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    Sorry, in addition, I have a lot of sexual fantasies about males and deeply enjoy them and want to act on them in real life. But I'm scared that when I do, I won't be able to orgasm as my arousal history or what have you, will indicate I'm not truly attracted to them. Thanks!
     
  3. Mikey D

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    You sound like me in many ways.. I identify as bisexual, being attracted to both sexes. My preferences do tend to go back and forth between men and women, and when I masturbate, I go back and forth between fantasizing about men vs fantasizing about women. And for better or worse I don't think you really know whether you would orgasm when having sex with a man until you do. Not that I'm recommending you jump into bed with the first guy you see or anything like that.