I’m miserable. I’m 27 and I still live at home, I hate my father and my mother is the only person I talk to. Occasionally I talk to my sister if she visits. My brother is more like a stranger when he comes to stay. I don’t have friends and I was never good at making them but when I was younger and in school I still had people to talk to. I live five miles away from a small town and there’s no social place I could go. My dad gets annoyed if I talk. My dog loves me so my only friend is an animal. I’m lonely, I want friends, I want to date because I’m 27 and I’ve never even kissed someone. I’m trapped in a picturesque prison surrounded by nature with no one to talk to. I don’t mind talking to my mother I just want other people to talk to. I’m happy in my own company but I want less of it. I want to go out with people and talk about stuff and just have company. I’m an antisocial introvert but I would kill for a friend. Surely there’s someone else out there who’s socially awkward and doesn’t mind that I say things I don’t think are offensive but other people do.
I can relate to living in a rural area. Have you done any post-secondary education or anything like that where you have made some friends? If so, could you arrange a time and place to meet them? Even if it's once every couple weeks or so, it may be enough to get out of the house. I think people are always pretty happy to receive a message from an old friend to meet/catch up. Or is there any events going on in your area (or surrounding area; sports clubs, etc)? Any hobbies you enjoy doing? That might be another place to meet some new people.
I get where you're coming from. I'm 26 and super lonely too. I've always had a hard time making friends and don't really let people in, but any of the ones I did have hurt and left me (which makes me even more reluctant to meet people and to let anyone in my life). I have one best friend that I met at work but she moved out of state a couple years ago. I still talk to her all the time and we visit each other often, but it's just not the same not having her right here with me. I lost touch with all my friends from high school and college—part of it was me pushing them away as I have really severe chronic depression and anxiety and it's just easier to be alone than to deal with people or to have to pretend to be okay or explain to them how I feel. I also have never been in a relationship (started something with someone a couple years ago that ended badly) and have never been kissed. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. I live by myself and don't have a good relationship with my family (we talk about superficial things but I'm not out to them so I'm always just uncomfortable around them). My only friend is also my dog. I'm a total introvert and usually enjoy being alone, but sometimes the loneliness becomes too much and too painful. I feel so out of touch with the world and don't even know where to begin trying to meet someone to befriend or even have a relationship with. Some days, I tell myself I've made peace with the fact that I'll just spend my life alone...other days, that thought just kills me.
I attempted third level education several times but never made any friends out of it. I had friends in secondary school but we weren’t close I was a new addition to an already established group. I haven’t seen them or heard from them in ten years. I don’t have any hobbies that involve other people. I have a degenerating muscle disease that rules out anything physical. I will be going on a camp for people with muscle conditions but that’s 5 days out of a year. I did get a couple of trips out with one other guy and people to help but he’s not really a friend. Most of the people I know from that are close to my age but have a more serious disease with a life expectancy of 25. The boy I went on trips with has lost two younger brothers and he’s 26. I lost three people I knew in the last year. I have no opportunities to meet new people so I just have to make them. My family are convinced I have aspergers, if I get tested for that and have it then there are groups I can join. I enjoy bingo as a hobby but it’s only a social thing if you’re a smoker. They all congregate outside during the break. I want to find people before I lose the ability to walk.I did call a helpline a while back. I asked about LGBT groups in my area. I was out of luck. Good ideas though.
I can fully relate to the feeling of loneliness. I was a very late arrival for my parents my mother was 45 when she had me and my father was late 60s. Through no fault of their own they found it tough trying to be modern parents during the 80s in which i grew up. They were very strict with me and stopped me interacting to a large extent with other people of my age..i literally had no friends to speak of growing up right upto the age of 18...19. Couldn’t even wear or dress how i wanted and whilst others at 16 were already discovering girls and partying i was sadly put to bed so my parents could enjoy their private time. This lonely time in my life has never left me and i have found it incredibly tough to interact with others or form friendships. Relationships throughout my life have literally been next to non existent and life for me now is a cycle of work and providing care for a sick elderly family member. Apart from the loneliness i have spent years battling the uncertainty over my sexuality which rightly or wrongly i blame on my upbringing. To try and combat my shyness and dark cloud hanging over me i joined various dating sites...not primarily to date but to just chat and interact with people who could perhaps help with my sexuality issues. Needless to say what i discovered was not helpful in anyway. I tried counselling on more that one occasion but really i left feeling the people i spoke to and opened up to really were just there to go through the motions. In the last 18 months i have been lucky enough to meet an older gentleman online and we talk most days...he is keen to start a relationship with me but perhaps due to my past i have been and still am reluctant to take the next step. The thought of finally having somebody and the possibility of something sexual is very daunting for me. Despite all of what i have wrote here i try to stay positive albeit it is very tough somedays. Hang on in there and interact with people on EC as i have found it a great source of comfort and help and i have received some great advice from other members. I haven’t been here long but am so glad i stumbled across this site. Loneliness doesn’t seem so difficult to deal with all of a sudden.
