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I’m not saying don’t trust it, but don’t dwell on it

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LLsailor, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. LLsailor

    Regular Member

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    Recently my girlfriend and I split for reasons I will not mention, so I took this time as an opportunity to experiment with the same sex. In my fantasies I thought about men a lot so that’s gotta mean something right..?
    Well I’m my case I’m not so sure.. I met a guy who was very attractive and down for a one night stand. I go down on him, he’s perfectly shaven and clean.. no bad smell or anything. I struggled to maintain an erection and the thought of him cumming in my mouth was not my thing, although it was one of my favorite thoughts in fantasy. I let him perform anal on me and I got hard for about 25-40 seconds and it went down after that. It wasn’t bad,it was barable. I was excited through out the whole day for this moment and it turned out to be a disappointment. I finished him off but I explained that I wasn’t really getting into this as much as I thought I would. He was completely understanding and I went home afterwards .. could it have been the wrong guy? Yeah sure but he was very attractive so idk. I am still gonna label as bisexual and not let this one experience change that.

    All I’m saying is, fantasies are just fantasies, they can be reliable indicators of sexuality but in some cases they are just what they are, fantasies. I’ve also noticed a HUGE decrease in arousal when thinking of men after that experience. I would HIGHLY suggest experiementing for a 100% accurate result. I’ll probably post a second time about another experience, who knows.



    Take care everyone
     
    UnderArmor and iwa like this.
  2. UnderArmor

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    Hey sailor
    I had almost an identical situation. I prefer women and couldn’t do without them but have fantasized about sex with a man for a long time before actually going through with it. When I did, I started out by going down on him, then him on me. We did this awhile and I enjoyed it. I asked him to penitrate me but he wasn’t into that so we kept it oral. I stayed hard for quite awhile, but eventually lost the ability and desire. It was because he was just too weird and into things I wasn’t. Afterward, I did lose my desire for bisexual experimentation for a while and thought that was it, It wasn’t for me. But I was wrong, as it eventually returned stronger than ever. To this day I haven’t played again with a guy but want to baldly. I figured out that he just wasn’t right. I rushed into it with the first guy that was willing when I should’ve taken my time and chosen more wisely.

    Take care everyone
     
    #2 UnderArmor, Dec 23, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 23, 2017
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    I wouldn't necessarily rule out men because of this experience. Internalized homophobia can create pretty strong denial processes, and once you've moved out of fantasy into a real experience, it can really challenge the homophobia.

    I think a clearer answer will emerge over time. If you see the interest in same-sex continuing to wane then perhaps you aren't gay or bi. And commonly, the opposite occurs... it wanes for a bit and then comes back even stronger.

    I admire your willingness to simply explore and experience. That, ultimately, is how you will be able to figure it out.
     
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  4. UnderArmor

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    Thanks for your words of wisdom Chip