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Hurt & feeling rejected - from the GSA I helped to start

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Katelynn, Aug 30, 2012.

  1. Katelynn

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    I am in so much pain & I hurt still, even tho Ive spent the last couple days trying to calm down over this. I saw on Monday nite an article in the local newspaper about the Gay Straight Alliance on campus I helped start, so I read it & was shocked to find that, depsite at the end of the academic year back in April, a lesbian 'friend' & I completed the paperwork to start this GSA, & her & I had been making the plans to get this thing going, and even having my name listed on the paperwork as being the president of this club, I apparently am not one of the founders after all, this so-called friend & her straight friend are the only two founding members. I have no acknowledgment whatsoever. I feel so f***ing invisible right now - first it was this 'friend's' decision to drop the T totally out of the title from LGBT to GSA, then messaging my 'friend' like a half dozen times over the summer to get some idea about progress or to find out how I could contribute my organizational efforts (I ended up dedicating my time talking to local businesses & musicians to see if we could have their support, getting positive responses from all), then a logo which totally ignores trans people (just has a male & female symbol, no bisexual or trans symbols), sitting thru an organizational meeting where I felt no idea I had was considered to have any merit & even a couple times feeling like anything I said was being dismissed & now this. I kept telling myself thru everything that it doesnt really matter, as long as this was going to be an inclusive group that I could feel like I was a part of & would be a safe place I could go & be able to open up & talk at, but this last thing has shown me that Ive been keeping myself blind to the fact that it wasnt & never will be.

    I mean its like I dont even f***ing exist or matter...

    Id try & talk about it with her, this so-called 'friend' but honestly Ive had enough of the last 4 months of having one other lesbian here in town telling me Im exactly the same as every other gay person & she went thru everything coming out as gay that I am now with coming out as trans & being open & that I have no business trying to be in a relationship or date any woman, so one lesbian making me feel like I dont exist for the last 4 months has been hell enough. If I try to explain it to this so-called 'friend' how I feel or how Ive been made to feel only to have no understanding from her on how I feel or how Ive been made to feel, then it will be just too much for me to handle right now. :'(

    I dont even want anything to do with her or this group now, clearly nothing Ive tried to do or any ideas Ive had has held any worth at all and I certainly wont feel safe or welcome or even visible as the only trans member after all of this.

    I cant even bring myself to post anything specific about this on my FB status or call the newpaper to correct them, bc it will just turn into a HE said/she said thing & bc most people will just look at me as a crossdresser & the media's shitty way of showing trans people has people thinking we're all porn stars or pedophiles or just generally untrustworthy, so no one will believe me, my credibility will probably be shot with people before I even say five words, so Ill just be ignored or worse if I speak up, so the hell with that, Im not even putting myself thru that hell. I just cant take putting myself in a position to get hurt even more. This was supposed to be the one safe place I would have on campus, especially since this year I will be full time as myself on campus & feeling very vulnerable & exposed.

    After this, I really will not feel comfortable going anywere near that group much less saying anything to anyone if I did show up.

    Its bad enough already I go to a PFLAG meeting where everyone gives everyone else struggling all this helpful advice & all I get stuck with is 'aww, hang in there it will get better one day'.

    I tried to turn for some support or, at the very least, an empathetic ear with a few of my gay female friends, only to find no empathy or sympathy at all. I was told to get over it, that I was making something out of nothing & that I needed to stop whining & being so negative. Only one lesbian friend of mine saw things from my point of view & was actually sorry to see me hurt like this, as well as understand, as best she could, my point of view as a trans person, and one who is the only openly out & transitioning trans person in the whole city. Once again, I tried to turn to the LGB community for support & I was epically failed, having my feelings completely dismissed, marginalized & ignored.

    I just feel so lost, hurt, alone, invisble & upset, I just dont know anymore... :'(

    But Ive decided, after giving it a couple of days, that I need to say something. So Im going to email the club's faculty advisor & tell her why I will not be a part of the GSA anymore. I see this so-called lesbian 'friend' of mine, in how she as conducted herself in organizational meetings for this GSA, as someone who says she wants to bring change to the city, but is instead actually setting up this group as a means to achieve more recognition & award on herself & that sort of thing. From what I can tell, this GSA for her has been more of an exercise in ego than it has in genuinely setting up an all-inclusive group on campus which I think is needed. She says she wants change, but after all this it seems the change she wants doesnt include me, as a trans person, at all...

    Is it unfair of me to try & kick up a huge noise about this? This group may not help me at all, but it can still maybe help someone else...
     
  2. Ianthe

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    I think if they are excluding you, you should definitely speak up about it. I'm sorry that's been happening to you.

    If you want, you could post a draft of the email you want to send here, and we could take a look at it.
     
  3. Aldrick

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    I agree with Ianthe. It seems like that this girl set out right from the start to not only exclude you, but exclude every person who is transgender from the group. That's why her first act was to drop the T from LGBT. Every step she seems to have taken seems to be toward marginalizing you and keeping all trans people at the back of the bus.

    If you want to write something, like Ianthe said post it here. We'll read over it and give some feedback.

    As one of the founding members, don't you have any power in the group?
     
  4. Katelynn

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    As one of the founding members, I assumed Id be kept in the loop at the very least, but it seems ALL I was good for was signing my name so 'she' could get what she wanted - HER GSA. Ive spent the summer watching her win awards & be recognized, so Im pretty sure that at some of this isnt even about helping people, its about working towards more recognition & padding her resume. Im not saying that everything she does isnt altruistic, just that it seems like she has the wrong motivation towards doing this, I imagine she does want to help people, Im just not seeing myself as being included. Im about 50% sure at this point that it was unintentional, but whether it was or not, the result is the same - I feel invisible & unincluded. I have a friend in my program at college who worked with this woman over the summer in the same office & when I told my friend about my wanting nothing to do with the GSA anymore, her first response was 'It's bc of *name*, isnt it?* So I guess it isnt just me that sees something going on their, my friend cant stand her & hopes karma comes around to give her what she deserves (my friend's words, not mine). Im still working on the wording of the email tho, Im trying to seperate emotion from this & be as grown up & diplomatic as possible with this...
     
  5. Aldrick

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    Don't beat around the bush. Just be blunt and honest. Send her a short e-mail saying, "Hey, I saw an article in the paper Monday. It had a list of founders, but my name wasn't on the list. Do you know who supplied the paper with a list, and why my name was left off? I'm thinking about calling the paper and having them print a correction."

    Here is the thing. My feeling is that this is being directed at you because you're trans. My gut is telling me, that this girl here doesn't want your name on the list because she's afraid of what people might think. She's basically sending you to the back of the bus, and is hoping that you're happy just to be allowed on the bus at all.

    That's my read of the situation.

    Now, you're faced with a choice. You can either accept being treated this way after all the hard work you've put in, and quietly go to the back of the bus. Or you can begin taking a stand and telling her no, and use your power as president to influence things more to your liking in the group.

    It seems like each step of the way she's gone out of the way, not only to marginalize you, but also all trans folk. You don't have to be directly confrontational, calling her a bitch and every other name in the book. You don't even have to tell her how you feel. Just begin insisting that things be done your way, and instead of letting her run the show begin reaching out to other members of the group and trying to organize things more yourself. Reach around her, don't let her stand in your way.

    That's what I think you should do. I know it's tempting to run away and be hurt (I'd feel the same exact way), but if you do that then if there are other trans people who want to join the GSA they're going to be at the back of the bus as well. So long as you accept the way you're being treated and marginalized, it's going to continue to happen.

    My advice is to take a stand; you don't have to battle her directly, just reach around her and go over her head.

    You're listed as President of the club. What rights and powers does that grant you?
     
  6. Katelynn

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    Yeah, thnig is I just think Im president only in name on the paperwork, it was just sort of a way to get the paperwork accepted since she couldnt find anyone else to sign & the SAC office required two people to fill out the paperwork. As president, Ive had no power or rights at all, bc Ive been shut out at every turn & completely left in the dark. At every organizational meeting Ive been to, she has taken the lead & Ive never really gotten a chance to speak any ideas Ive had have been dismissed out of hand, so really, I dont think I was ever the president of anything. In the last organizational meeting, she was talking about having a vote in the first meeting to pick a new president, so I wont have any support for me to remain president, as all the people so far are gay & bi women, with one straigt woman. And as the only trans person on campus, the only voice I have is my own, so being drown out by the other LGB people is going to be impossible to overcome. All I have at this point is to show my displeasure & leave the group in protest. Sitting in a GSA meeting on a regular basis & being looked at as not like everyone else & feeling like a minority of one, Im sorry I cant do that, its just too much to handle sitting in a room full of LGB people & feeling like Im not like everyone else...

    The email & my refusal to be included but not included is all I got, so its what Im going with. If I walk & she actually figures out what she's done (or actually feels anything about it is more like it), then maybe after changes are made to be more inclusive Ill consider coming back. If there were more trans people to have my back, it would be different, but Im the only one, so Im so much easier to dismiss & ignore, even if I scream at the top of my lungs...
     
  7. Aldrick

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    A couple of things.

    Don't make the assumption that she'll realize that she has done something wrong or that she'll feel bad about it. I'm not saying she's done it intentionally, but if she has your leaving might be a relief to her. In all honesty, it sounds like she's gone out of her way to shut you out as much as possible and minimize your role in the group - to put you in the back of the bus.

    You're also assuming that you're the only trans person on campus, but you don't know that for certain. You may be the only person transitioning, but that doesn't mean there aren't other people who are trans but are afraid or unable to begin transitioning.

    I don't feel comfortable pushing you to do something you're uncomfortable with, but I do believe that unless you're willing to stand up for yourself no one else will. :frowning2:

    I don't want to see you mistreated. So you basically have two options. You can walk away, or you can try and combat it in both subtle and overt ways.
     
  8. Katelynn

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    THAT is actually what my concern is - if there are other trans people on campus, they would never see this group as open to trans people, not even the title suggests anything about being open to bisexual or trans people. Hence my decision to deal with the faculty advisor. A friend of mine works in the same office as 'her' & as soon as told her I was done with the group, she knew who & why, so that pretty much sums it up. I will say something, just not to her, Ive already spent the last 4 months tilting at windmills here trying to just even talk or be accepted by the LGB community so Im not tryng to talk with this woman, Im tired of wasting my words on deaf ears who dont want to understand, our faculty advisor is a better avenue to pursue...
     
  9. TheEdend

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    Hell to the yes! Make as much noise and rock the boat as fucking hard as you dare! The shit this girl is pulling is disgusting!

    I'm going to agree with Aldrick, maybe a bit more vicious:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:, and I would encourage you to start showing your claws a bit more. This girl wants war, give her some and let her know that you stand for something much greater than just yourself or some recognition.

    You are the president. YOU call all the shots whether she like it or not. Don't ask for her permission or to be included, take it. Take the lead in the meetings and don't mind the girl a second look.

    Do you have a copy of the constitution of your club? What are the rules in order to replace the president of the club? Who makes the decisions according to the constitution?

    Also, who can you count for support? Counselors or any professor at your campus?

    And if all else fails, start your own damn club again. Call it whatever you want, make the logo whatever you want and show her that you won't stand for this shit. After you have that done, contact GLSEN, HRC, GLAAD or any other organization that will hear you. Put some pressure on the damn girl. Hell, I know we have enough contacts here on EC to make people notice what is going on at your campus. I can guarantee you not many organizations will stand with her.

    Ah, I'm so royally pissed at this girl and I haven't even met her. I just wish I could be there to help you do some serious damage to this girl's "plan" of what a GSA should be.

    The only thing I will say is to leave the club and other member out of this. Befriend and be nice to as many as you can. Don't complain about your friend to them and try to educate people with kindness. Most people truly don't know any better.
     
  10. Aldrick

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    Exactly. I mean, obviously I'm not there so I can't know for certain, but based on what you've written the impression I'm getting is that they're most likely shutting you out because you're trans and they'd do the same to other trans people. (In other words, it has nothing to do with your character, the quality of your work, or anything else - it's because they're bigots.)

    It's also not clear how many people are just following her because she's a dominant person. In all honesty, in many ways she reminds me of myself. I have a tendency to do the same thing, to step up and take responsibility, to be proactive, and if someone is more passive than me I have to be careful and considerate to not accidentally walk all over them.

    Generally speaking, in my experience, when someone just steps up and takes charge people tend to fall in line and follow. So don't mistake the fact that because everyone is following her lead that they agree with her point of view. Also, don't expect people to "get it" and "see what she is doing" - most people are blind and unfortunately, aren't too bright when it comes to noticing stuff like this.

    I just know if I were in your shoes dealing with her; I'd show up to the next meeting with an agenda. I wouldn't complain about the way I was treated, I'd be prepared to step up and take action.

    First, before any other business began I'd move to put forward a plan to have some type of meet and greet. I'd talk about how we need to get the word out about the group, and since you've already established some contacts with local businesses supporting the group, I'd show up with a list of businesses willing to support / sponsor the event. "We need to get our message out so that people know that we exist."

    Something like that is important to show that I'd be willing to step up to the plate and take charge.

    Second, if the issue to vote on a new president comes up, I'd ask for the vote to be deferred till a later date. "I think before we elect a new president, we need to better define the duties of the position first; we may also need to come up with some other positions such as a treasurer. As well, I'd like to put forward the idea of secret ballots for the voting process. I was thinking about this the other day, and while I don't necessarily think it'll ever be a problem among us the bylaws we establish now will impact those who come after. We don't want internal politics to infect the group and cause division. However, most importantly I don't really see a need to elect a president until we know what the president is supposed to do. It's somewhat pointless to waste our time appointing someone with a title that is effectively meaningless. It will also hopefully avoid confusion down the road."

    Now, I'd do the first to try and show the group that I am capable of being proactive. I'd do the second to undermine her - she's no doubt expecting to be given the title and position. More to the point, I'd do it to buy myself some time. Because if the group agrees I'd begin taking a more assertive role, and coming into each meeting with an agenda. I'd break my ass looking for new members to bring into the fold.

    One idea is to create an e-mail address, and print out flyers and stuff. Make the flyers visible and have people who might be LGBT or Questioning write you anonymous e-mails. Many people are afraid of joining a GSA because it means they have to come out to some degree. By giving them a way to speak to you anonymously you can do a lot to relax their fears, and encourage them to meet you in person. From there you can help them get comfortable enough with themselves to come to the GSA.

    This is good for them and good for the group. It's also good for you, because every person you stop to make that personal connection with is going to have a sense of loyalty to you over her. When votes take place it often comes down to a popularity contest. Every person you bring into the group yourself pretty much ensures you have their vote in your pocket.

    Also, whenever some issue with public relations comes up. I'd volunteer myself. Need to speak with the campus newspaper? Already make sure you've befriended the students who work there, so that you have connections that she doesn't. "That's a great idea, <Her name>. I already know Jose at the student newspaper, he's a good guy. I could easily schedule a lunch with him this afternoon, and do the interview if no one in the group objects."

    I know this probably isn't your style, but that's what I'd do. I somewhat thrive on having this type of competition. So long as it's good for the group as a whole... the bottom line is the more you act like the leader the more people will perceive you as the leader. It doesn't matter who holds what title, or even if specific duties are given to someone. That's exactly what she did to you. You may hold the title of President, but she acted like the President. As a result, people are perceiving her as the leader of the group.

    My only concern is that if you raise a stink and try and confront her directly, she'll be able to easily discredit you. It'll also create conflict in the group.

    The reason I'd act the way above is because it would avoid that internal strife. If she got angry at me being more assertive and dominant, I would act surprised, and talk about the need for unity and team work. I'd never engage her in a war of words, and leave her hanging - every time she tried to be aggressive toward me and I talked about team work and unity, it'd make her look bad to the rest of the group and she'd only undermine herself.

    She'd either learn to fall in line, or she'd find herself in an ever diminishing role; until SHE was the one at the back of the bus. On the other hand, if she worked and cooperated with you, then the GSA as a whole would benefit greatly from the combined effort.
     
  11. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Ah, so beautifully explained!

    That is a very, very solid plan. You have your campaign manager right here haha
     
  12. Katelynn

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    As far as the word being out, it was in the paper already, with a pic of her & the other girl being credited as the founders, so right out of the gate, saying Im one of the founding members is difficult bc it was in the newspaper, so it must be true is going to be the attitude people will have. Second, posters & all that have already been made up, quit eliterally EVERYTHING to promote this group is already done. And given that, when I was able to get a word in edgewise at the last organiational meeting, I was pretty much ignored, or at least that was how I felt I was being perceived as being. I dont feel as if I show up, Ill even get to say much, hence the idea to talk directly to the faculty advisor, someone who cant be ignored. At least if she's in the room, I might have a chance to speak my mind. And Id really prefer not to have it out with anyone in front of the whole group, it may turn off new members & make me look like Im just whining & being unreasonable. Ive already tried to explain how I felt to a few friends who are gay & only one of them didnt think I was overreacting. I was, in fact, told there was nothing wrong, to stop being so negative & defeatist, & that I was basically made to feel by others outside of this GSA thing as if the situation was normal & I was being a child about things. Also, causing internal strife in the first meeting will just serve remove what little to no credibility as a trans person I already have. I deal with the faculty advisor, its harder to ignore them - theyre faculty & straight. Due to the depiction of trans people by the media, I have to first overcome all of that crap to be taken seriously, so itd be hard to break that stereotype first, difficult when Im standing up alone & talking about things no one else in the group has any basis of reference for...

    I have a plan, Im just trying to do things so Im not going to come off like some lone, disgruntled crossdressing, tranny. Sadly, like being black in the 1960s or 1970s or being a woman in the 1980s or even today, I have to aspire to be 10 times better than cisgender people, either gay or straight, just prove Im worthy of respect. Hard to do when people keep calling you 'it' sometimes...
     
    #12 Katelynn, Aug 30, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2012
  13. kc1895

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    In college, we had several different "LGBT" groups including "LGBTQIA" (queer/questioning, intersexed, and asexual), Queer People of Color, and a few other ones that were meant to be as inclusive as possible. Many members belonged to at least a few groups. Perhaps you can start another group and have more diversity in it as well. Never give up!
     
  14. Katelynn

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    Its a small college, we only have 2 other clubs lol so starting multiple clubs for the same thin would never get approved by the SAC, bc they are the ones who give out the budgets for these clubs. Im thinking more of talking to the straight girl who was credited as being one of the founders of this group. Since 'she' & myself are both done this year, the straigt girl is the one who 'she' chose to keep this running after 'she' graduates. Might have more luck in convincing the other one to make the GSA more inclusive after 'she' is out of the picture, as I dont see her sticking around after to run things & Ill probably be dealing with a more reasonable person as well...
     
  15. Rygirl

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    Hey, my course of action would be to go straight to the SAC or whoever it is who regulated the clubs, gather all your evidence together, all the shit she pulled, all the work you've done, and all the credit she has claimed. Get her in as much trouble with the governing body as you can. If you think you have enough, go to the police for discrimination, because the way I see it, this is discrimination, and bigots like her do not deserve to be in any position of power.
    But this is me, and in situations like this, (and I have been in a similar situation to this) I tend to be a shit stirrer. Go to the press, tell your story, let everyone know what a BITCH she is.
    One question, you mentioned that you are the president, what committee position does she hold?
     
  16. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Okay, so this might not be what you want to hear, but it seems from the outside that the other girl pretty much took over the club and she is, in essence, the leader of it now. If you try to take it away from her then its going to look unfair from an outsider perspective :/

    From what it sounds, it looks like this girl is fairly new to leadership and she is a very strong extrovert, which means that she will take over without even noticing it. Sometimes extroverts will do that without meaning to offend or leave you behind. To them, you being quiet and not making a fuss is interpreted as not wanting to make the necessary effort, and it is possible that she decided to take over and make things happen rather than wait around.

    If any of that is true, I would really encourage you in concentrating more in the future than in the past of the whole thing. concentrate not in taking the position back, but in being helpful to the club in some way.

    Literally write down what you think the club has to improve on. So far you have:

    -The logo
    -The name

    Is there anything else you want to change?

    After you figure what you want to change, come up with a plan of action before talking to either the advisor or the other girl. If you just tell them "hey, you aren't listening to me!" and they say "okay, fine. What do you have to say?" you NEED a plan with deadlines, events and other specifics to present to them. Else your point is not going to be a strong one.

    Also, keep in mind that if she has planned out soo many things already then its very likely that she also has the advisor feeling like she is the real leader of it all, and with that its going to be hard for him to tell the other girl that she must follow your lead. In other words, you are going to have to prove yourself before asking to be recognized as the leader.

    I really hope all of that doesn't sound harsh at all, but I just want you to go in there and not encounter yet another surprise.
     
  17. Aldrick

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    I think TheEdend gave you some good advice. Since she's already taken such a proactive lead, it's going to be harder to unseat her. If you aren't a dominant personality type she's just going to walk all over you, probably in most cases without even noticing.

    This is the reason when I find myself working with others in a group, I'm constantly asking for feedback. "What do you guys think?" "Does anyone disagree?" If I notice people aren't contributing or being silent, I pull them aside later and speak to them one on one (because not everyone is comfortable speaking in front of a group). Though my issues come from being an insane perfectionist; it is still easy for me to trample all over someone who doesn't feel comfortable voicing their opinion or speaking up... even though I try hard not to do it. I at least try to make sure everyone feels like they are heard.

    Quite honestly, though, even if her issues were the same as mine I still believe she deliberately went out of her way (consciously or unconsciously) to minimize and exclude people who are trans as well as (possibly) those who are bisexual. Unfortunately, among some gays and lesbians those who are B and T can get excluded or marginalized due to bigotry. Then you might encounter straight people who just don't get it, "Well I understand how you feel, but I think <her name> would make a better president, because you know - it's more difficult for people to accept people who are trans. Don't worry, though, we'll get there one day! It's just right now, we need someone more like <her name>, because you know, she is more socially acceptable. Oh goodness. I hope I didn't offend you!"

    The best course of action, I'd say, is to run with the idea I put forward about creating the e-mail account. You don't have to bring the idea up to the group, it can be something you do in your spare time. Use the e-mail address to encourage people who are struggling with their sexuality or gender identity to contact you anonymously for advice and support.

    Then you can help them build up the courage to meet you in person, to discuss things face to face, and eventually help them get the courage to come to the GSA. Every person you bring into the group is someone who will be very inclined to vote the way you want them too, because they're going to feel a sense of loyalty to you. It helps them move toward accepting themselves, it helps the GSA by increasing their numbers, and it helps you by getting you the support you need.
     
  18. Mango

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    Hi there Katelynn!

    This is nothing new to us. We're lucky to have the majority of gays behind us for support, because if not, the a**holes of the community would be able to take it over completely. It's a sad state of affairs indeed, when members of our alliance turn against us.

    However, we must press on anyways, regardless. I personally agree with TheEdend, in constructively rasing 'new' issues and intelligently raising these issues, along with a plan of action. I would remain a constant pain in her dry butt, until I got whatever I wanted. "T" in the logo is important, but what's most important is that fellow members respect the transgender members. Trans inclusion is quite significant. The Revolutionary War was fought for a similar reason!
     
  19. GreenRaven

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    Location:
    Maryland
    hrmmm....i was going to say to start your own group, but since it was already mentioned and you said it couldn't happen because of the small campus, i'm going to agree with the email thing. you can even put an anonymous name on the flier in case you don't want this girl getting on you about it. and if she does start shit about it, tell her point blank, you're reaching out to those she left behind. just because she doesn't understand them or whatever her issue is, doesn't mean they should be left out on their own, wandering blindly through life.

    :lol: i just thought of a name and it made me giggle. Lady K. the mysterious and wonderful Lady K who lights your path towards recognition and acceptance of being who you were born to be. :grin:

    if i had that problem...i would so do something like that....only i would be....Mr. T :roflmao: The...ummm....i can't think of anything witty XD i'd just put a picture of the real Mr. T on the flyer :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

    edit: JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. Mr. T pointing like uncle sam and saying "Mr. T wants YOU to be confident and accepting of who you are." :lol:
     
  20. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    I'm actually starting to have certain doubts whether or not she is truly transphobic.

    I re read the post, and please let me know if I'm wrong, but the only reason why she might be transphobic is because the name of the GSA is Gay-straight Alliance and not something else, and because the logo of the club ignores other genders. If those are the only reasons, then it is possible that it was done from ignorance rather than hate or disgust. I mean, I personally didn't see the importance of the logo and the name until I joined EC. Then I took it upon myself to change the logo of my GSA. I think there is a possibility that that is the case with this girl.

    But, I do think that she has now decided to pretty much kick you out of the picture for some reason. Whether it is that she doesn't like you as a person or because you are trans is hard to tell from an outside perspective.

    She will have a tougher time kicking you out if you are proactive and, going with the idea that Aldrick gave, you prove to the club that you are a necessary component of the whole deal.

    I know, playing politics isn't for everyone and sometimes its a mean business, but it is something that is necessary at times in order to make great things happen.