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Howdy!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Gay Deputy, Oct 26, 2016.

  1. Gay Deputy

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    I came across this site the other night and remembered thinking how much this would have helped me years and years ago. A little about myself: started questioning myself when I was in high school. I dated girls and was even sexually involved with girls but nothing turned me on more than gay porn.

    ive never quite known how to describe my relationship with my girlfriends. The love was there but was platonic. The sex was sex with no real attachment. After high school, I joined the Coast Guard and was, surprisingly, stationed only 4 hours from my hometown.

    At this point, I was engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years. During my tour, Sept 11th happened. We were all required on duty every day for the next several months...no off days. Once our liberty was restored, I left out and drove straight to my fiancé's job to surprise her. Turns out, she wasn't the only one to be surprised. I walked through the doors and her first words, after not seeing each other for 3 months (but talking on the phone nightly), were "What are you doing here? You shouldn't have come." Turns out, she'd been cheating and he'd even met her parents.

    This event practically cleared me up to pursue the feelings I'd been having since high school. During the course of my tour I met and dated several guys. One day, I get called into my Commander's office. There was nothing suspicious about this since I was the unit's operations petty officer. I was in and out of his office daily. His face sombered me quickly tho. He showed me his computer screen which displayed one of my online profiles stating I was bisexual. He fought to keep me in but his Commander said no deal. I was honorably discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell after 4 years and 9 months of service. In a service I had planned on making my career. Shortly after my discharge and a night of drinking, I decided I didn't want to live anymore. I opened my gun safe, removed my Glock 22 and was going to end it all. Thanks be to the gay heavens above, I'd gone hunting the weekend before and did not have a single bullet. The next morning, I came to and was physically sick thinking of what I'd almost done.

    Now days, i work as a sheriffs deputy in southeast Texas. I'm on the SWAT team and am a K9 handler. I give thanks every day that I'm still here. I'd love nothing more than to be a shoulder for those going through the same thing.

    Anyway, that's my introduction. There's much much more to me and hopefully I'll gain a few more friends from this.

    Erik
     
  2. killswitch0029

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  3. johndeere3020

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    Hi for Minnesota!
     
  4. Quantumreality

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    Hello Deputy Gay! Welcome to EC!:slight_smile: I know where you are coming from with your story about the Coast Guard. Why was your Commander even looking at your social media online profiles? "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was intended to end the witch hunting (although I'm well aware it didn't stop it entirely). I'm so sorry that you were a direct victim of a unenlightened and ridiculous policy. At least today, LGBTQ people can serve openly in the military.

    I stayed in the closet for over 20 years during my military career. Whenever I had LGBTQ Soldiers working for me, I tried to watch over them and make sure that they didn't do anything that would require the Command to discharge them. If they did something that brought them to the Command's attention, there wasn't much, if anything, that I could do for them. But being LGBTQ myself, I could identify them much more readily and warn them when they did things that could potentially give themselves away. On those occasions when I was required to process discharge paper work for Soldiers simply because they were LGBTQ, I always felt sick to my stomach, but there was no way that I could take a stand that would benefit those Soldiers.

    When I was a unit Commander myself, I never enforced "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", but I had to call Soldiers into my office to warn them about suspicious activities on their part that, if they came to the higher Command's attention, would take my option of doing nothing to them away from me. Several of the best Soldiers that I ever served with were LGBTQ.
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Oct 27, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2016
  5. Gay Deputy

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    Evidently, one of my E4s did not care for me and had heard things. He made fake profiles on sites and eventually got me chatting with him. He saved everything and sent it to my commander and to my CO's CO.

    Thank you for your service bud and all that you did!
     
    #5 Gay Deputy, Oct 27, 2016
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  6. Quantumreality

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    IMO, that E4 should have been chaptered out of the service for entrapping you like that!

    And, thank YOU for your service, too!
     
    #6 Quantumreality, Oct 27, 2016
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  7. Sailaway2020

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    Welcome hope you enjoy the forum
     
  8. ABeautifulMind

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    A fellow Texan :slight_smile:

    I drive through Beaumont when I go to Louisiana to work... I also drove my parents to an Elton John concert there a couple years ago...

    A little Tx trivia, the house committee on civil jurisprudence just allowed a bill through that removes all criminal penalty for cannabis possession and adds two news ones regarding distribution and possession by a minor... That committee is holds a conservative majority, and one of the votes in favor said something a long the lines of "cannabis isnt a mistake that God made that we need to fix..." IDK about you but I think when conservatives in Texas support cannabis legalization using religion as a justification, things are finally starting to go right in the world :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Dont get me wrong, it probably wont pass, it still hass to pass the house floor vote and go through the Senate... but its still promising... But I still like a little cannabis occasionally, and your a k9 handler... so... there's that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I bet your one of the only people who can say a hunting trip saved your life... The odds of someone with a gun safe in their house not having any ammunition... Lucky to say the least..

    Anyways, welcome to EC, and ofc always nice to have another Texan :slight_smile:
     
  9. YuriBunny

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    Welcome to EC~! (*hug*)
     
  10. Gay Deputy

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    Not only that...he saved VERY graphic messages that were sent back and forth...so knowing all that was sent to my CO, XO, and a full bird was EXTREMELY embarrassing. Pics and all...
     
  11. Quantumreality

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    Well, in THAT case, Chaptering would be took kind for him. I'm thinking ... Firing Squad?? (LOL!):grin:
     
  12. Gay Deputy

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    It was really bad because I was really good! My CO asked me to remain at the unit when I made E5. He then made me the Operations Petty Officer...I sat directly below the 3 in the command cadre and I ran the unit. I had 2 E6s that I had positional authority over...which I never ever made an issue of. I'd planned on doing the blue to green program and trying for rotary wing pilot in the army. That was all ruined by someone's pettiness.

    My actual command was great through it all tho. My CO and XO took my father and me out to eat where they gave me my unit plaque that all the guys had signed. My CO even restricted message board access so no one would see my discharge orders.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Nov 2016 at 04:57 AM ----------

    They wrote letters of recommendation also when I applied with the local sheriffs office
     
  13. Quantumreality

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    That's really cool about how your Command acted. Clearly they didn't want to discharge you. As you know, I can relate directly to that!

    Fortunately, today someone in your situation wouldn't have to worry about being discharged. It's just extremely unfortunate that you served at a time when ignorance reigned.:icon_sad:
     
  14. Patrick7269

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    Deputy,

    Welcome to EC! It sounds like you've gone through quite a lot, and I'm sorry that your environment wasn't more tolerant or enlightened at the time. Having not served, I can only imagine that DADT was interpreted and enforced from a pretty black-and-white perspective. A pity, since I see sexuality as hardly black or white. You were obviously baited in the most hateful way on top of the discriminatory policy itself.

    I'm glad that you made it through a really dark chapter of your life, and I believe that you were being watched over. Thank goodness you're still here.

    Thanks for your service, and thank you for your contribution here! Our policy is decidedly quite the opposite of DADT - once you've got even the slightest inkling of needing community, you're welcome for life, exactly for who you are! :slight_smile: Welcome.

    Patrick
     
    #14 Patrick7269, Nov 2, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2016
  15. dublinz

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    Hell Erik,
    Welcome!
     
  16. Gay Deputy

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    I thought about going back in, in the reserves but never quite worked up the ambition to. Gotta say it left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended :slight_smile:~)
     
  17. DAFriend

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    Erik, I'm with you on wishing this site had been here when I was figuring myself out years ago. And yeah, I tried to off myself over being who I am. Now just going to hope that somewhere, sometime, something I say or do stops another form trying what we both did, they might have bullets and, not find another reason to stop before it's too late.
     
  18. Gay Deputy

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    very much agreed!