wherever I'm around my friend who I know I want to be the first person I tell and it is the perfect moment to say it, I begin to feel like I haven't thought about it enough to tell her that I'm gay. But when I'm not around her, I can't think of the reasons why I wouldn't tell her. I'm so confused about why I can't just spit it out. Its as if I think there is a reason for me to not tell anyone but I haven't figured it out and I only want to figure it out when I'm about to tell someone. How to grow the balls to say it to the first person? How do you stay in the same mindset?
When i told my sister, I just wrote "Btw, I'm bi" on my phone and showed it to her. You could try that? It made it alot less scary
If you can't tell her face to face you can tell her over the phone, email, text (like RedFireFly did) etc It is always difficult and a challenge to come out of the closet to the first person, that's why you feel as though you can't say it. So I would: -Take her to a coffee shop, so if things get awkward you can walk away. But if she's your friend it shouldn't be, if it is, she's not really your friend -Start talking about normal things, nothing about LGBTQ+ -Slowly introduce topics about LGBTQ+ into your conversation -See how she reacts to the conversation when you start talking about LGBTQ+ -If the time is right say something like: "There is something I need to tell you, I'm gay" Hope this helps
Maybe try telling her you have something important to say so she won't let you escape if you start getting nervous.
and when you're feeling that nervous feeling, if you just blurt out "I'm gay" it will be done as quick as ripping off the band aid. your friend may say "what?" but that at that point you've got the conversation started and it will pretty much take care of itself. like going over the top on the flume ride. you just have to go over, and gravity does the rest. :goodluck: