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How to talk to this person you're attracted to.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Anon1201, Sep 23, 2017.

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  1. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Sounds like good logic
     
    #121 silverhalo, Nov 9, 2017
  2. Anon1201

    Anon1201
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    Hopefully I’m doing the right thing. I’m still like trying to clear my thoughts from her. It’s a bit hard knowing I see her sometimes so I’ve been avoiding her kind of. I know it seems rude.
     
    #122 Anon1201, Nov 10, 2017
  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    It's a difficult situation because you don't want to look rude but at the same time if your not getting anywhere you don't want to be thinking about her all the time. I assume you are not friends with her on any social media or anything?
     
    #123 silverhalo, Nov 10, 2017
  4. Anon1201

    Anon1201
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    Not sure I usually don’t ask people for that stuff unless they offer it lol.
     
    #124 Anon1201, Nov 10, 2017
  5. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I was just thinking if you were friends on Facebook or something it might be easier to communicate by message rather than face to face, but then that wouldn't help erase her from your mind.
     
    #125 silverhalo, Nov 11, 2017
  6. Anon1201

    Anon1201
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    I feel like it would be easier too but yea we aren’t that close and I don’t really ask people for their social media or numbers. Of course unless it’s mutual then my friends and I share them. It will take some time and adjustment so I’m still thinking of ways just to try and relax lol.
     
    #126 Anon1201, Nov 11, 2017
  7. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Yeah I get that. Do you socialise with anyone from work?
     
    #127 silverhalo, Nov 11, 2017
  8. Anon1201

    Anon1201
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    Yes with everyone lol. With her it’s just a bit difficult to still talk without feeling awkward but I talk to everyone at work with no problem lol.
     
    #128 Anon1201, Nov 11, 2017
  9. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Maybe next time you are all going out you could ask her if she wants to join you
     
    #129 silverhalo, Nov 11, 2017
  10. Anon1201

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    Yea I’ll give it a try when the rest of us go out for a drink or something. Thanks! How’s your week going?
     
    #130 Anon1201, Nov 11, 2017
  11. silverhalo

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    Yeah it's good, I'm having a long weekend which is really nice.
     
    #131 silverhalo, Nov 11, 2017
  12. wingeduser

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    Yeah I do. I finally had the courage to tell him how I feel last Tuesday. After work, I kinda forced him to have snacks with me, then told him that I have a crush on him. He has most likely busted a few hearts before me as he seemed to know the words to say. He said he wasn't ready to entertain any relationships at this time. He mentioned his exes wanting to get back together but just turned them down.

    It was all fine for me up until the next three days. He seemed to act differently, like he now shows up in my office more often, trying to get my attention, and his chat messages are now longer unlike the short "okay", "hahaha" replies from before. I feel like he's just trying to get rid of the awkwardness between us but even our officemates say he's showing up more often than before. One officemate told me that while they were shopping online, he raised his voice saying "people have inconsistent decisions", and they said he was trying to get my attention.

    I really want to give up, I do, but people have been telling me to try again with this guy. I'm just ignore what everyone says and let him be friends with me even though it kinda hurts cos I know it won't be something more.


    I've been treating him like he's the only guy out there and I know he isn't but I'm not open and I don't really want anyone to know. Whatever. Anyway, thanks for asking for an update. I'd like to get lots of opinions about what I'm going to do with this crushing thing.
     
    #132 wingeduser, Nov 11, 2017
  13. Anon1201

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    Does it still feel like he’s trying to get rid of the awkwardness as you mentioned... or do you get a different vibe since those few days? I’m glad he’s trying to get your attention now cause on my end I feel like she just ignores me unless she has something to say. I know it’s confusing but I don’t see anything wrong with talking to him and put in the same amount of effort. Unless you know he will be different if you talk more maybe let him get our attention and then respond. I’m not sure cause I’m not very good at advice lol.
     
    #133 Anon1201, Nov 12, 2017
  14. wingeduser

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    Yeah I invited him to a family dinner with some of my friends and he said yes. So I guess he's trying to get close first. He said he isn't sure how he feels about me yet so I think that's a good sign. I think that's fine, I'll just keep my feelings to myself until he knows what he feels.
     
    #134 wingeduser, Nov 14, 2017
  15. Anon1201

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    That’s good! It’s better to let things go slow anyway because maybe the more you get to know him things change. With the woman I’m attracted to, we just talk here and there. I still feel the same, but I am fine with just being friends too. She still makes me nervous though lol.
     
    #135 Anon1201, Nov 14, 2017
  16. Anon1201

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    Let us know how things go!
     
    #136 Anon1201, Nov 16, 2017
  17. MotifSky

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    If you have anything in common or if there's something notable going on, just start a casual conversation with her about it when she looks like she's not doing anything. I would try and stay as confident as you can so you don't come off awkward
     
    #137 MotifSky, Nov 17, 2017
  18. Anon1201

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    Yea we talk more now. We don’t really have much in common but when we work we talk regularly. I talk to my other friends more cause we have things in common but I'm still getting to know her I guess.
     
    #138 Anon1201, Nov 18, 2017
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  19. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Getting to know someone with different interest can be cool, learning about new things.
     
    #139 silverhalo, Nov 18, 2017
  20. Anon1201

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    Yea it’s cool learning about different interest but like she doesn’t share much of them. The only reason I talk to my other coworkers is cause they shared their interests with me lol. It’s hard to ask without feeling like I’m bugging about her life lol. They chose to share, I didn’t have to ask so it was easier. Even with coworkers who don’t have things in common, if they tell me something I am interested. I don’t know if it’s cause she thinks she won’t be interesting or something lol.
     
    #140 Anon1201, Nov 19, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2017
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