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How to move on?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Johanz, May 18, 2015.

  1. Johanz

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    So this is pretty much just me venting since I really don't have anyone in person that I can talk to. My roommate and I live together for almost 4 years now and over the years we have gotten very very close. I consider him one of my best friends. School just ended, and I usually don't think about him a lot but I notice my self not being able to stop thinking about him. Of course we always get separated every summer but this is different. I feel like I'm gonna miss him so much. First of all I think he is straight but curious because we've done some much sexual things besides doing the actual sex itself. Our bromance is to the extreme, I never really came out to him but I think he knows I'm bi without really telling him. I'm very touchy towards him, I hope he gets all the clues. Because he would be really dumb for a very smart person to not notice all the signs I've been giving him. I pretty much give him hugs all the times and kisses him in the cheek or all over his body every chance I get, we also kissed in the lips quite a few times while drunk and sometimes even sober. I've slept in the same bed with him for weeks and even cuddle while watching a movie together. We talked about girls a lot and every time we cuddle he keeps saying he wish I had a vagina and would try to dry hump me. So I talked to one of my female friends to hook up with him a couple of weeks ago and then I also told him about it he was pretty excited about it even tho he didn't wanna admit it... And yesterday they decided to hang out and prolly had sex. This is the second time I got him laid the first time was a friend of friend but this time was a close friend of mine. So I was the one who convinced him to have sex with her but why do I feel this way. I feel so odd and almost jealous. I don't know how to describe this feeling its not jealousy or hurt but almost the feeling of being betrayed. AHAHAHA I'm not even in a relationship with him and I was the one who got him to have sex with her to begin with and I shouldn't feel this way. Am I in love with this guy? I've known him for so long and we are so closed like brothers or even a married couple because our friends would tease us that we fight like one. He will be my roomate for another year or two and we will prolly get an apt and move in together. We also talked about going to a different country for a vacation after we both graduate. He even wanted a threesome with me for so long now.. He doesn't seem completely straight right? I dont know I just feel weird today because I wont see him for the next four months I guess that's why I'm feeling emotional. Should I detached myself to him? How can I moved on?
     
  2. Vix193

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    It really does sound like he's curious. Or maybe he falls in line somewhere with one of those orientations I can't quite recall off the top of my head. That being said, I think it best if you tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. If he's someone worth keeping in your life, then he'll understand and things will work it for the better.

    I had a similar issue with my room mate, minus the sex, and basically everything else. And he straight out told me he was gay. That said, I told him I was developing a crush on him, but he took it in stride, and said we should wait to see what develops first. He's still my best friend though, and I'm pretty happy with all the flirting between us.

    Like I said, honesty is the best policy, and if him being with someone else is tearing you up, then it's something that he obviously needs to know. Keep me updated on this please, because your situation interests me. Hell, PM me if you have to. Especially if you need more advice. Always happy to help.
     
  3. twister692

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    I am in a similar situation except I live year round with my roommate and he's completely straight. It's a difficult thing to deal with. You don't realize how much you've fallen for someone until it's too late. Sounds like you, much like I have, fallen for him and can't get by it now. For us, our friends always make married jokes and for mw, it actually makes the attraction even deeper. I do know the jealousy feeling. There's been time he's hung out with a girl or has gone on a date and as much as I tell myself I just want him to be happy, I can't get past the jealousy. It's a terrifying cycle, I know.

    Now for you, you have the advantage of the not so straight signs he gives off. You can always bring it up light heartedly when your drunk or continue to test the waters. You are in a better position because of the possible signs he is giving.
     
  4. Johanz

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    Vix193
    Thanks for your reply, heres a link of what I created last year, it was basically me asking about his orientation and I explained it more in details about our relationship and stuff. I don't think I can get any closer with this guy.
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/138109-what-do-you-think-my-roomate.html
    I think he really is one of my befriends and like a brother to me and I don't ever wanna lose him, I think he will be one of my best man in my wedding and we talked about our future how we will always remain friends and everything. I know I used to have feelings for him before but its an on and off feeling. and I dont even know what I feel about him because I do get these sexual vibe with him. I've gotten over him but now we got even more closer to almost intimate that I don't know how to describe it.. Yeah I was definitely so jealous even though I was the one who made it happen for him to get together with that chick... All I want is for him to be happy its not like its hurting me but I just feel that slight pang hitting me especially knowing and thinking that we would never be more than just brothers. If I want him to be more, there's just so much things that we would lose and I don't ever wanna trade that.. I'd rather have him for the rest of my life than a casual hooked up that will go down in flames in the future. I just still really don't have the courage to come out to anyone. I dont ever want our relationship to change thats why I'm scared if coming out to him will change it.. But I think he would not mind at all tho, he is such an awesome guy its not him but its about me not being able to express my self just yet. and I will deff keep you updated.. :slight_smile: and feel free to ask anything if u have a question in the link I posted above..
    Twister692

    Yeah all our friends thinks that we are actually in a relationship and we are like a married couple. I think my ex girlfriend hates him for being too close to me. Yeah, I feel like you know my struggle with jealousy. Although, I feel like I am not really jealous but that weird feeling that I never be adequate because I don't have a vag.. lol
    I pretty much did everything with him, like even masturbated together when we were drunk off our minds. I take advantage of him so much, but he doesn't say anything I feel like sometimes he likes it cuz he would play along but he will only stop me when i touch his junk.. I think when summer comes I will feel better and not think about him too much. He texted me yesterday saying he just got back home for the summer and he already misses me.. ): I miss him too..
     
  5. Vix193

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    It's definitely a hard decision. But I can tell you really love this guy. Whether or not it's as a friend, brother, or as something else is something only you can answer.
     
  6. Johanz

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    Vic193: haha yeah, I definitely care for him and I don't want our relationship to be affected because of some lustful desires. Id rather just stay as friends thats why I was wondering what should I do? After the summer should and when we get back from vacation i might feel better and not constantly think I about him. Should I just remain a lil distant and not do everything I usually do with him, like cuddle and give him kisses? Anyways, yeah I hope in the future we just remain good friends.
     
  7. Vix193

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    Well, if you do that, you run the risk of him feeling like you may not see him as close anymore. Or not. I don't know anymore. Feels are complicated.:bang:
     
  8. LazyBirb

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    I think you should tell him how you feel. It doesn't seem like he's a bad person so he might; if it's the case; bring you down softly because you're friends. Eat all the ice cream you want if you get rejected, hell, if you get accepted eat all the ice cream you want. Just try not to dwell on it too much. Try to find something to occupy your mind and before you know it you'll be face to face, ready to tell him but not ready at the same time. Do what your heart wants the most. Your choice is yours.