How to Ignore People Who Gossip About Others and Just Come Out?

Hi Breanna,

First, it sounds like your environment is (yay!) better than those of other posts here on EC. So to our or not to out is the question. Here's a plus: other non-straight girls will know you're available. The minuses? We know those. The next question: how to do it? Without making it seem like some sort of announcement. What do you think? Have there been many opportunities so far to disclose?

 

Yes either of those seems awkward. But you know, it's only embarrassing if you let it be. If you're proud, it shouldn't matter what they say. But I understand that it does. How long can you go bottled-up? It could be simpler to just wait until the next stage of school (i.e. college or uni). Maybe just a friend at first -- who you ask not to tell. Then slowly by stages. Of course this is just sort of a slow-leak version of the gossip option.

 

OK so it is (at least partly) just a matter of timing. I'm glad you anticipate a reasonable (low-drama) college experience. But for now... maybe one person at a time. People who you can trust to be 1) understanding and 2) discreet. I.e. they won't out you without your permission. Then there's always Plan C: have a girlfriend and openly date. Oh yeah, that's easier said than done!

 

I think it's better to just come out on your own pace and to people you trust. It's hard to ignore people that gossip but I believe that you can do it! Ignore what they say if you come out the way you said previously as it shouldn't matter what they say as love is love >:3

 

Hey there! I was in your position last year, I had only told a few close friends and two of my siblings, but this school year I decided to start fresh and just be super obvious about the fact that I was gay. By which I mean I got myself some gay shirts, a pride flag, and whenever people were having conversations about people they were interested in dating, I would join in and tell them mine, making sure to drop those female pronouns, "Well, there's this girl...". My freshman year, I was afraid of the rumor mill and what people might say about me, but this year I used it to my advantage. I only had to tell so many people before it got around. Like beenthrdonetht said, everyone knowing also means all the gay girls at your school know that you're gay too.

My advice to you, if you're ready, and don't want it to seem like some grand announcement, just try and casually slip it into conversations here and there. Sometimes I like to come out to people when I can make it into a funny joke to ease any tension. One time I was sitting at a lunch table with some acquaintances and someone was trying very hard to put a cap on a water bottle but it kept ending up slightly eschew. They exclaimed, "It just won't go straight!", and I said, "Me either". I thought it was hilarious and one friend got it right away but a couple others needed a sec to catch up. When the realization hit their face they cracked up too.

Then again, if you don't feel comfortable with this then there's no rush, go at your own pace and do what feels right!

 

The good thing about gossip is it's temporary. It's also often about the unconfirmed sometimes if you can just be matter of fact about things and be relaxed about anything people do say people are usually less interested and move on to the next thing.