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how to girlfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by penelope, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. penelope

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    I'm 17 and a week ago I asked someone to be my girlfriend. I struggled with my feelings towards her, I wasn't sure if I liked her because of whose is or because I wanted a girlfriend. I really like how she makes me feel, I love when she laughs at something funny I said. I can always be myself when I'm talking to her and I don't have to think about what I'm saying too much because sometimes I get very insecure and end up over-thinking what I should say and what not.

    She's my first girlfriend though and I haven't really wrapped my head around the fact that I have a girlfriend and I am someone's girlfriend. It's so official! What doesn't help is that she lives like 5 hours away from me. We met through internet and have met in person after that but we weren't together back then. Maybe I'm just confused because I've never really had to act like a girlfriend and the first time I do, she's not even there for me to hug or kiss or touch in any way.

    Also I don't know how to girlfriend. I don't know how to do any of that. I've never even kissed anybody and I'm scared I'll be bad.

    There are a lot of things that are going to make our relationship harder, like the distance, money, mental health problems, families being awkward or disrespectful or something but I really really really want to make this work. I'm pretty terrified and it makes me think things like "what if we don't work out how long do I have to be someone's girlfriend and then break up so it's not just embarrassing and childish" and god I've been kinda' freaking out about this for a week.

    I'm sorry none of this probably makes any sense and it's horribly un-organized and just me rambling and I'm sorry I think I just need some words of encouragement and possibly some advice if someone has experienced any part of this (like the distance thing or the freaking out or...)?
     
  2. YuriBunny

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    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
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    Don't worry! Just be happy~! ^.^

    Here are some dancing bananas to reassure you:
    (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
     
    #2 YuriBunny, Jul 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
  3. Shorthaul

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    Welcome to the world of dating. Pretty much everything you are feeling is what everyone feels when they ask their first girl/boy friend out. Heck I felt that on the fifth relationship, hooray for being awkward.

    There really isn't a specific way to be in a relationship. Its kind of a learn as you go thing. A couple of suggestions I can offer are:
    Be honest, with them and yourself
    Don't just talk, but communicate. If you are uncomfortable or unsure, tell her how you feel.
    Listen, being able to listen is important too.
    Try to relax and don't over think it.
     
  4. Brytaleith

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    Just roll with it and don't doubt yourself. Yes, it'll definitely take some time to register that you're in a relationship. I've known couples who are still pretty in awe of the fact that they're together, even though they've been married for years.

    The most important thing, for me, is trust and communication. If you have worries and your gf has worries, maybe you could just sit down and discuss where you want this relationship to go. There should definitely be no shame if you realize that such a relationship is not for you and you decide to break up.

    Set up some kind of system, maybe. Like, make a commitment to call her on a regular basis, or go out together. It shows that you're invested in this relationship and is a pretty good way to be in constant communication.

    Fair warning, dating is expensive, as my friend who is in a relationship keeps telling me. If you're going out or buying her gifts, you should probably be aware of that.
     
  5. penelope

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    Thank you all! She's going to visit me in two weeks, maybe I should talk to her about it then, face to face. :slight_smile:
     
  6. paris

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    Chance is she feels exactly the same as you. The only advice I can give you is do not listen to your fears, listen to your heart!
    Btw do you know what fear actually is? It is false evidence appearing real. :lol:
     
  7. rencetakingover

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    lmao im jealous I want to have a girlfriend too but d'awww congrats on your girlfried :icon_bigg