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how to get used to a new name

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Bring it, Oct 18, 2014.

  1. Bring it

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    I've grown up with a very feminine name, and have always used that name or one similar to it. However, as I've explored my gender identity, I've come to love the name Aleksander. The problem is that it's very different from my given name, and there isn't anyone in my offline life who knows about the name. I don't feel ready to tell my family about my gender id, and I doubt I'll be able to effectively transition at school until they know. Until that time comes, how can I set the name in my mind so that I can start responding to it?
     
  2. IS92

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    From my own experience, it's very difficult to get used to a name without someone (be they friend, family member, or other) calling you by that name on a regular basis. I started with going by my chosen name with online friends that I don't see in day-to-day life. So that's one idea.
     
  3. Daydreamer1

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    It's a bit difficult, but you'll get used to it if you hear it regularly.
     
  4. Meribor

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    Getting used to a new name to the point that you instinctively respond without hearing it is tough, and frankly, I'm not sure is possible. And since you're not out, I'm not sure is even wise.

    I was thinking of suggesting that you practice typing, writing and signing your new name, but if this comes out of your mouth before you're out to your friends and family, you may have some explaining to do. And you only want to come out to people at a time of your own choosing.

    Another technique that I stop short of suggesting is to practice saying your new name aloud to yourself, maybe in front of a mirror and even recording it.
     
  5. Acm

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    It's hard to do without someone calling you by that name. I put my new name on all my online accounts to help, and I've started responding to it. I still respond to my birth name though
     
  6. MyNameIsGabriel

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    My friends all call me Gabriel, and my mum is trying so hard, bless her. It really helps when you have someone call you that name to your face or via text plus what I've started doing is whenever someone says my birth name, I always replace it with Gabriel in my head, the same with pronouns.

    Aleksander is an awesome name, by the way :slight_smile:

    ~Gabe x
     
  7. KayJay

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    This is basically what I did. The day I came out and my family started practicing calling me Kelsey it already felt proper and I responded to it like my birth name. The real trouble though for me was learning to not respond to my birth name. Luckily I get lots of practice with that because across the street they have a little boy who has the same name I used to have. So I get to hear it semi frequently and now a-days I don't respond to it or turn my head but inside it still makes me feel a bit awkward. It all takes time :slight_smile:
     
  8. BradThePug

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    I've gone by Brad for over a year now, and I still find myself sometimes responding to my birth name. It's a name that you have responded to for years, so it takes time to get used to not responding to that name.

    You can use your preferred name online, but there really is not much that you can do to become used to responding to it other than having people call you by it.