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how to deal with the "not so obvious" negative people

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tigermud, Mar 30, 2018.

  1. Tigermud

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    this sorta gets me to heart because people are you close friends or family. the kind of people who stop you from getting up and doing stuff that are fun and May be a benefit to them and yourself.

    it's things like, you want you and a friend to go somewhere cool like a holiday. and they're like "that place isn't that great" despite not even been. that friend who doesn't like to try new things

    or your family and your career choices. they all be like "that's too expensive" or "what about your bills" "oh you don't want to do that"

    or that friend who gives bad advise on something that might be good for you or doubts what you say is true.

    like where's the encouragement when you really need it. no encouragement is negative
     
  2. Mali Mali

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    I have these people on my life too. It is so tough. The worst was when I was living in a new place and these types of people were the only I had.

    I don't know how much advice I can offer you, but I will try. In my situation I was friends with the wrong people. I found new friends through interest networks on Facebook (be careful, obviously) and through clubs, volunteer work, etc. With new positive people in my life, I have been able to let go of some of those old friends that were bringing me down.

    Another thing that has helped me has been to cut these negative people off when they are being negative. If we are talking and they are unsupportive of my choices, then I change the subject. I try to show them that I am not interested in their negativity.

    I hope you find some of this helpful? I really think it's a difficult situation you're in.
     
  3. Tigermud

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    hi. thank you. I do try some of these tactics. sometimes it makes me feel guilty. sometimes I have to put up FB sub status without naming any names to express how I feel about being free in the world. sometimes I try to make new friends but I get insecure as there is some affect with this negativity. I have some friends that are very positive but I still have the negative linger
     
  4. Assassin'sKat

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    I have a friend who get's nervous about trying new things...but she has some mental health problems and it's not her fault.
     
  5. Blast

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    Always listen to advice from your family but dont live your life by it.

    If you make a mistake here and there then its no big deal. Just do what you feel is best. Dont let anyone hold you back.
     
  6. SkyWinter

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    I think when people are being overly critical in that nit-picky way on a consistent basis it's because they are on some level unhappy. I would probably end up just ignoring them. Sometimes it's better to not have friends than have to deal with that kind of junk.