Hi, I'm looking for advice on an issue that's been bugging me for quite some time now, and any feedback would be much appreciated. The thing is, I've known a close friend of mine for almost five years now. I've always seen him as just a friend, but in recent months I have developed a crush on him, which is starting to turn more intense. We used to be really good friends but recently he started to back off, which made me feel more attracted to him. He doesn't know I'm gay, and he is straight as far as I'm aware. With the way our friendship was deteriorating in the past few months, I have accepted that there is no chance that a relationship with him would be a success, or even a possibility as a matter of fact, even if he was into other guys. When we are alone we can get on rather well, however when our friends are around he can treat me like crap at times; it's like he doesn't want others to see him talking with me. I believe that he may suspect that I'm gay, and that's why he's backing off. He calls me 'queer' and 'faggot' presumably as a joke, but he also does that with everyone. At times I feel that I should move on from him, but it is difficult as I often see him due to work, which requires us to communicate quite a lot with each other. I'm sorry if it seems like I've been waffling, but this is the first chance I've had to get this issue off my chest. I would be grateful for any advice you could give me on coping with this issue, as it is now driving me to despair and I feel unable to do anything about it. Do you think he'll understand if I just come out to him? Thank you.
That sucks this guy thinks it's ok to insult gay people and I'm sorry you're stuck in that. Ideally you would tell him it's shit that he does that, that you're gay and does he think you deserve to be insulted like that? What did you do to deserve to be treated like that? Nothing. I've never had the balls to do that. Instead, I feel bad for the insults, avoid people like that and continue hiding. I know, not a good way to exist in life and it doesn't help reduce the ignorance we all face. Maybe some middle ground would be more realistic. I hope you can find a good solution. Take care!
Thanks a lot mnguy! It's great to know that I'm not alone; unfortunately the only person I can physically talk to about this is a relative of the guy, but it's very comforting for me to get advice from someone who understands how I feel. I suppose he may be joking, but nevertheless the words still hurt. I agree with you that I should tell him, so that i could at least open his eyes to the issue. Once again thank you for the advice, best regards.
