So I've been friends with a group of straight girls online for about 3 years now. We've been through a lot together & I can honestly say they're my best and closest friends, some more than others but I'll get into it later. I've only known I was gay since about late 2016. Back when I found out I didn't tell anybody of course, because I didn't know them back then as well as I do now and I'm a very private person normally & like keeping this stuff to myself. But now it's 2018 and they still assume I'm straight and lately I've been feeling very guilty about not being honest with them. I feel like I'm lying by omission and it sucks. I don't think I need to come out to all of them really but one of them in particular... I'm close with and I can't stand lying to her about anything. She's my BEST friend and we talk every day and we know almost everything about each other. But she doesn't know I'm gay. None of em do. I want to tell her but there never seems to be a good time for it, and honestly I'm scared of what she'll think of me if she knew. She's pretty far from homophobic but her older sister is deeply homophobic and I'm just worried that she, despite what she says, is a little disgusted with gay people cause of that. I think she'd accept me but I'd be afraid of her maybe thinking I'm predatory, or losing trust in me or being hurt cause I didn't tell her sooner. There's also never really a time where it feels like I could tell her without it being me like. Forcing it. I know there's never a good time to come out really but I don't wanna just be out of the blue like 'btw im gay'. I don't wanna make her uncomfortable or put her on the spot. But I also feel supremely guilty about hiding part of myself from her when she trusts me so openly and cares about me so much. Sorry for the paragraph but I think if I ask my little sister for advice one more time she will stab me. >_>
Well coming out to people you're very close to is always difficult. I don't know exactly how you're relationship works but honestly making a specific, private time to tell her is important, in my opinion. If she really is your friend she will adapt. I think it will not be easy but I believe you can do it. If she cares she will be supportive
Nils, you wrote that they assume that you're straight. Are you sure that they do? (Not a trick question -- it can be surprising what friends can pick up on that we're not aware of...)
They might be too polite to ask or are waiting for you to say something? Just a thought. They may well assume you're straight.
