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How to come out to parents that I might be Lesbian and demigirl?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by GraceMiamor, May 11, 2022.

  1. GraceMiamor

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    Hi everyone, soo today I have been thinking about my sexuality and I was wondering why I swing more towards girls then boys and then I had to question if I was really a girl cause I really don't feel like one. I have been thinking about it long and hard but I am 99% sure that I am lesbian and Demigirl. I mean I get attached to people to often but then I get back to the question if I really like this person and it makes me feel ashamed I really need some help with this. I really hope you can give me some advice.
     
  2. sunbird

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    Hi @GraceMiamor I’m sorry you’re feeling shame. And I wanted to say it’s ok to take time and question if you really like someone and what it is that you like in the person. I’m saying this as I think I’m more of a demi too - even though I can become attracted to someone I wouldn’t want to have sex with them unless I know them more deeply... I guess my question to you is, are you enjoying the ride of getting to know the person? Do you feel curious about them? Maybe that could help you feel more sure about your attraction?

    In my experience it can also take some time to get to know how you are attracted to somebody. As an example, I know that I can get pretty attracted to a person on a surface level, but then I can get even MORE attracted once I’ve gotten to know the person a bit better. And that’s such a great feeling. That’s when I’d say I know it for sure.

    Remeber, it’s not necessary to feel shame about who you like ever, or if you’re not entirely sure. You can be proud of yourself for taking this time to learn about yourself and what you like. I believe ultimately this is a good way to find a suitable loving partner… I hope this helps a little :slight_smile: I’m not really good at giving advice as I’m trying to figure everything out myself too haha… but thought I’d share my thoughts
     
  3. sunbird

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    Also - I just realised I may have misunderstood what you were asking about - your post title is about coming out to your parents about being a lesbian. And I wrote about attractions… Oh well - apologies if I that didn’t really answer your question!

    Re: coming out to parents - I’m afraid I don’t have any thoughts to share on that front (I need to do it myself as well :slight_smile: but I look forward to hearing what some wise souls here may have to say
     
  4. GraceMiamor

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    It's okay I needed that too. I get attached to people so easily but I don't like them as a partner unless I really know them but I'm still questioning if I'm actually lesbian or Pansexual idk tho.
     
  5. sunbird

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    I see! I think that’s a really good question! Gave me some food for thought as well. I guess what I would say to that is the reason why I think I am a lesbian is because I’ve come to know (after a long period of investigation a la Sherlock Holmes) that I am only attracted to women. I know I’m not attracted to men at all. However, if I was to meet someone who say presented as female (which I’m drawn to) but identified as male, then I guess if I felt very attracted to them and wished to have a relationship then that would make me pan?? Is that how it works? Sorry this is probably not helpful at all but I think your question is a really interesting one and hope someone wiser will be able to shed some light on it :slight_smile:
     
  6. GraceMiamor

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    It's okay Hun I get it. I don't really know how that would work but I think you might be right. I am kinda still at a lost because I like a boy now that I have known for like ever but Idk how to go about it.