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How to approach someone you think is cute....

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Anon1201, May 9, 2019.

  1. Anon1201

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    I wanted to keep this short and simple, so I’m a shy person and don’t know exactly how to approach this girl I have in one of my courses. Never talked her before, but it’s toward the end and there are only a few class days left before finals. Any idea how to approach someone, since I’m shy.

    I feel like I sound childish, but I get nervous talking to new people. :face_palm:
     
  2. LostJedi

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    It doesn't matter if someone has a shyness that is criminally vulgar enough to be the subject of a Smiths song or just a little shy, making that first approach is nerve wracking as hell and makes the strongest want to curl up and die. That is to say, it isn't childish, you aren't the only one, and she may be exactly the same.

    A bit of a pretense may help, like commenting on this or that part of the class... maybe you find it incomprehensible and can she help or you found it exciting and what did she think. Don't play dumb and ask for help if you don't need it. Be honest and look for an honest reason to talk.

    All good people are open to meeting new people and don't score someone low because of nerves. Don't predict a rejection, just decide to see what might happen.

    Maybe this isn't terribly useful, but as someone who can be shy, these tactics have worked well for me.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. Anon1201

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    Thank you for your input! Hopefully I can see if she is outside of class due to the fact she sits on the opposite side of class.
     
  4. starmotive

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    I agree with LostJedi! Another suggestion, maybe ask if you want to study together? Find something in common to strike up a conversation. Something as simple as liking her shoes or something can get you that opening so you can get to know her. But as LostJedi said, the most important thing is that you are genuine and real! There's no point in being fake; you'd just be starting off on the wrong foot.

    All the best!
     
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  5. Anon1201

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    Thanks! I think what scares me is that she seems pretty quiet herself and that I don’t want to come off like I’m not genuine. I tend to overthink about things lol.
     
  6. starmotive

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    Mhmm, I totally get you lol. Do whatever feels right to you?? If ever you want to run something by me or talk I'm cool with that too xD
     
  7. Anon1201

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    How could I possibly get her attention if she tends to wear headphones? Lol
     
  8. starmotive

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    Uhhh talk about music?? I dunno lol. Do you know her name? Do you have any other classes together? Do you see her around campus? As a fellow shy person I know it's hard to approach someone but maybe just introduce yourself? Like Hi my name is ___. We have this class together. What did you think of the class? I see you're always listening to music, do you mind me asking what you're into? (Writing this out it sounds really awkward but this is actually how I met one of my best friends who later became my crush lol)
     
  9. LostJedi

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    Agree. Just think of the intro but don't script yourself too much, because then you'll start to obsess about remembering all of your lines! Just figure out the first question, listen to the answer, and respond - preferably with another question.

    Just a couple of tips from other aspects of my life... Everyone can agree that the most interesting person in the world is themselves - people generally like it when people take an active interest in them, in the form of sincere questions (as opposed to the standard, perfunctory "how are you doing?" which doesn't communicate real interest). Along with this, there are three things that people always respond to: flattery, flattery, and flattery. Again, sincere compliments.

    The thing is, you probably don't know it, but you're already there. Clearly, you are already sincerely interested in her, so you'll listen to what she has to say and naturally want to know more and ask questions. And you sincerely like her, so the flattery will probably come pretty naturally.

    And finally, there is this:
    She is probably just as shy, herself. For all you know, she has been kicking herself for not being able to muster up the courage to talk to you. You making the first step may be a huge relief to her, and you will be doing her a tremendous service in breaking the ice.

    So, do her the favour of walking up to her, saying hi, telling her your name, and asking that one question that will get the ball rolling. We're all rooting for you!
     
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  10. Anon1201

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    We only have one class together, and only two classes left. :frowning2: I really hope I have the chance to talk to her even if it’s just befriending her.
     
  11. Anon1201

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    So didn’t get the chance to talk to her during the last class, but tomorrow is our last class together. I’m trying to figure out how to approach her without being awkward lol cause I feel like an awkward person :grimacing: