They are all almost GSRM/LGBT themselves, but my term for my identity is very unknown and small, and the way I seem to work with names is very disappointing/frustrating (I can call myself something but not being called by a name AND being addressed by anyone makes me feel terrible). They previously thought I was just disturbed or mentally unstable or traumatized, but now they're all much better and more understanding of things for me. They clearly want me to tell them, but I don't know how. I always stop myself from saying anything and panic.
CoffeeMug.....Can you explain a bit more about not being called by a name or being address by anyone? I guess I don't quite understand what you are trying to say. .....David
Sure! If someone calls me by a name, I'll use a random name I'll make up for example, it gives me this really uncomfortable feeling. So if someone calls me Sbeve, even though I love the name Sbeve and want to be called Sbeve, I'll feel immediately uncomfortable and gross being addressed as that. It's like the feeling that someone deadnamed me I guess? Like, the name hurts me. However, not being addressed at all and not having a name gives me the same feeling, because I have a name and nobody uses it. I have a few names I like, and I wear them on me as necklaces whenever I feel like those names fit me. I find comfort with those names. But I cannot hear anyone use them, it ruins the names every time no matter how long they're used. The longer someone uses a name to address me, the worse the feeling gets.
I guess, but I don't know how to overcome this constant panic and anxiety I have. It's the previous experiences that trigger me into feeling like I can't ever explain myself to anyone.
Oops reply to the wrong thing what I should of said is if you want to do it it’s fine if not that’s ok to do it when you feel like you can
Oh don't worry I'm seeing a therapist, I'm always seeing one lol And I never feel like I can do it, it's been like this for years now, and it never gets easier. I'd love to, but I just can't.
