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How real is bottom shaming?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by CuriousLad, Jul 9, 2018.

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  1. CuriousLad

    CuriousLad
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    I'll be honest; bottoming with men is what I'm the most interested in, as of now. I know the shaming is a thing because men take the untraditional receptive role. But I just wanted to know what I'd be getting into if I ever did. Also is it more common in the LGBT community or outside it?
     
    #1 CuriousLad, Jul 9, 2018
  2. NakedHiker

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    I don't think there is any shame in doing what feels good to you. The first time I was penetrated was a girl using her vibrator on me OMG the best orgasm Ever. I couldn't wait to see what the Real thing felt like - someone taking control using me for their pleasure. And it feels good to me Too.
    Any guy will like it if they get past their phobias, because the prostate is reachable just inside And it feels awesome.
    I get a massage from this college guy who likes to top me. Sometimes he calls me his bitch and thinks he is using me- but it feels So good sometimes I am dripping cum when I am Not hard. No shame here, I am exhausted with pleasure.
     
    #2 NakedHiker, Jul 9, 2018
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  3. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    I’ve never bottomed for a man only a woman. That being said, I loved it. It feels amazing. Not sure that I’ll ever do it with a guy, but I’m sure it feels even better. I’ve never felt any shame about it. Of course, I don’t run around twin telling everyone about it either
     
    #3 Biguy45, Jul 9, 2018
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  4. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    Strangely. I have absolutely no interest in topping a man, though I’ve enjoyed it with a woman. I guess I’m just a little weird
     
    #4 Biguy45, Jul 9, 2018
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  5. Destin

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    It's not quite 'shaming' inside the community from what I've seen, but more of a supply vs. demand thing. The majority of gay guys appear to be into bottoming from what I've seen in my area, so good tops are more rare and are more sought after, treated better etc. because of it.
     
    #5 Destin, Jul 9, 2018
  6. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    That makes sense. It’s hard to find women willing to be tops as well
     
    #6 Biguy45, Jul 9, 2018
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  7. Biguy45

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    Which has forced me to take matters into my own hands
     
    #7 Biguy45, Jul 9, 2018
  8. Shorthaul

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    The few guys I have been with were more concerned about getting off than saying much during the act itself. Though the one girl who was into pegging did like to be a bit of a tease when she was topping. But all the guys were a little more shut up and get off kind of people.
     
    #8 Shorthaul, Jul 9, 2018
  9. Danabutton

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    I could never be a top unless it’s a heterosexual encounter
     
    #9 Danabutton, Jul 10, 2018
  10. Chip

    Chip
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    I know a lot of gay guys who jokingly make fun of each other with respect to bottoming. It's a source of humor, and among the people I hang out with, no one takes it seriously as offensive. However, in the overall conversation that gay men have on the topic, I think it's safe to say there's definitely an underlying tone of judgment about masculinity which bottoming is seen as somehow demasculinizing.

    But honestly, I think it's something people should just let go of getting offended about.
     
    #10 Chip, Jul 10, 2018
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  11. Biguy45

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    I think part of the attraction for me is the feeling of submission
     
    #11 Biguy45, Jul 11, 2018
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  12. CuriousLad

    CuriousLad
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    I honestly just feel I should experience every kind of pleasure in life using every part of my body and bottoming just happens to be one of them

    But on that topic, yeah the submission part probably attracts me too because I've been raised to be unhealthily competitive, aggressive and type A. So it'll feel divine letting myself go and be 'taken'. And everything about bottoming; the lack of control (ignoring power bottoms for now), penetration, friction and rocking, does just that.

    The reason I haven't considered having female tops is because all the dominant females around me are also jerks. But if I factor in the occasional verbal abuse fantasy I have then yeah I can actually make it work.
    Wow this is crazy I'm actually unloading all my fetishes online.
     
    #12 CuriousLad, Jul 11, 2018
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  13. Danabutton

    Danabutton
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    I conc
    I agree with this
     
    #13 Danabutton, Jul 11, 2018
  14. Biguy45

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    In regular life I’m an alpha male type, so surrendering sexually to a man or a woman is my favorite fantasy
     
    #14 Biguy45, Jul 11, 2018
  15. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Amongst sexually active gay men, there are very few who haven't bottomed at least once (tops included). Curiosity compels us to at least try it so we can determine if we want to be penetrated, or not. It follows that serious bottom shaming shouldn't take place, because almost all of us have given it a go.

    The shaming really stems from flawed concepts about masculinity.
     
    #15 PatrickUK, Jul 11, 2018
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  16. CuriousLad

    CuriousLad
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    I've more or less got the idea now. I'm just happy it's nowhere near as bad as I'd feared.This might sound hypocritical but I think I'll be completely fine taking bottom jokes from gay men but not from straight men and women. I've just had really bad past experiences with a few straight people when it came to their views on LGBT and women's rights so I'm instinctively on the defensive near them. It's like I'm bracing myself for incoming hostility. So I'd probably act butthurt (haven't punned in so long) taking their jokes by responding in kind.
     
    #16 CuriousLad, Jul 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
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  17. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    I understand that. My wife just kind of ignores the fact that I enjoy it. She knows but doesn’t want to hear about it, so I just kind of do it myself. She doesn’t make fun of me for it though. Of course, she doesn’t know I’m bi so if I ever acted on that it would definitely change things
     
    #17 Biguy45, Jul 11, 2018
  18. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    I have to say that it would take a very brave straight man to make jokes to most of my gay friends about bottoming. Best not to poke that fire! :grin:
     
    #18 PatrickUK, Jul 11, 2018
  19. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    I can’t really talk about a lot of my fetishes here, as it’s a pg13 site. At least not without some creative language
     
    #19 Biguy45, Jul 11, 2018
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  20. CuriousLad

    CuriousLad
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    I can relate. I'm new here so I'm still not sure how tolerant the admins are to profanity. Not that I want to turn this into some Pornhub comment section. But my life sometimes gets pretty pg13 too. My female friends are pretty intrigued by both my gay and straight fantasies. But my male friends choke the moment I bring in a dick (pun addict) so I need to take care to stick to women and filter out the gay.
     
    #20 CuriousLad, Jul 11, 2018
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