Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by cate1515, Oct 25, 2015.
Pretty much everyone but at work and a few extended family members.
Aside from people I've met online I'm not out at all. I feel I owe it to my parents to tell them first and I just can't get myself to do it. Not that there's many other people I feel need to know...
I'm out to my friends, and one of my brothers, who I only came out to a few weeks ago. My other brother is next on my "list." I am slowly working up to coming out to my parents, so telling my first brother and discussing that with him was a good step in that direction. Once I tell my parents I'll consider myself "mostly out" because I won't worry so much about things getting back to them. Extended family is another can of worms, and one I'm not totally sure how to handle due to their presence on social media.
Pretty much completely.
Out to one of my best (straight) friends. Out to my hairdresser and I guy I really want to date. Not out enough, frankly.
Pretty much everyone.
Family - all but my aunt and older brother - both of whom are highly religious and homophobic. Mainly at the request of the rest of the family who would prefer not to deal with the drama that would result. If they ever were to say something overtly offensive in my presence however, then I'll respond with feeling and drama be damned. Since I only see one very 2-3 years and couldn't care less if I never see the other again, I don't consider it a big deal.
Friends - out to all of them.
Work - Out to my boss and everyone on my local team. They've met my husband, he comes team functions like our holiday dinner and such, and they offered congratulations when we got married (my boss sent an edible arrangements bouquet). I routinely talk about by husband to them in the course of small talk. I assume they have in turn mentioned me/us to the other members of our team working in other parts of the country.
I don't hide it from the general people in our office either, but since there are hundreds of people there and I don't generally cross paths with them under normal circumstances, the issue doesn't come up much.
The wider world - we go to Pride for a bit (but generally leave early since we get bored and have other things to do). Do dinner or get togethers with a couple of gay men's groups we're a part of. So people certainly see us and can guess. I don't wear pride wear or the like because I'm not a fan of extraneous decoration and bright colors make our parrot want to kill you.
Family: Only immediate relatives, so those I live with and a few others that live a couple blocks away. My godmother who lives across the street doesn't know, and as far as I know, my other relatives about fifteen minutes away don't know either. Everyone on my dad's side (probably with the exception of him, my step mom, and maybe two or three cousins) doesn't know either.
Friends: Out pretty much completely. I'd assume those who I haven't spoken to in a while got the memo with my name/pronoun changes on Facebook. The same goes for old classmates. With general acquaintances, I'm in the closet as trans unless they've known me since I was pretty much in my early teens and remember my old name.
Work: At my old job at the local haunt, nobody knew I was trans with the exception of my bosses; both of whom who I asked from the jump at my interview if going by my name and pronouns would be a problem--to which I was told no and my birth name was never mentioned. Granted there were some pronoun slips with one of them, I wasn't outed on the job and I take it if I'm friends with any of them on Facebook, they don't have a clue.
I'm out online, and to my siblings, parents and sister-in-law; that's it.
An unexpected complication to embracing the rainbow!
I have told a handful of people - Inc best friend
Not my family yet
I love telling someone who doesn't know me that well and so has no history of me that feels good - like 'this is who I am' and they don't know the rest of the story
For me i want to take it more naturally with some people such as my dad it's a when it comes out of my mouth rather than planning it - maybe with family it will be when I find my partner .. Who knows
People have been supportive and positive so far so that's great
My friend of 26 yrs said 'yeah it doesn't surprise me ' yet I had told her nothing re past experiences - so just goes to show some know us better than we know ourselves
However it all happens the best feeling is for me - I am not sat in that closet anymore - gee it was dark and boring in there
My whole family, friends, people I directly work with, people who know and when I talk about my partner, am happy to mention him by name, or 'he'. I don't try and hide it, but neither am I advertising it. Basically, I'm just a guy who likes other guys, and has a guy for a partner. Just the same as a straight guy might talk about what/where he and his girlfriend did or went at the weekend, I'm happy to talk about what me and my guy did too.
I'm out to myself, my sister, brother-in-law, two friends and anyone I have hooked up with, of course. I don't feel like everyone needs to know, but I feel like I have kind of hit a plateau/wall. While I don't feel like it is everyones' business or a big deal, I also desire to tell more people. I am still sorting it all out as I recently started this journey/exploration of my bisexuality or homosexual side. I hope/trust that I would tell anyone that asks.
The plateau/wall I am referring to has to do with certain people I want to tell, but then when I have the chance I choose not too or even feed their comments/notions/opinion that I'm completely straight.
Still working on my steps to coming out I suppose...