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How Long Did You Stay In The Closet?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jmiller85, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. Jmiller85

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    Just Curious
     
  2. Jhilde137

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    48 year's and regret all of them
     
  3. YuriBunny

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    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
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    After realizing I was a lesbian? Basically no time at all. I sort of realized it as I said it. :lol: I meant to say, "I'm bisexual," but I somehow came out with, "I'm a lesbian," and it just sounded so right. ^^
     
  4. HM03

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    Like a two years until I came out to anybody, and 5+ years and counting of being in the closet to most people.
     
  5. Shadstack

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    I came out to my Internet friends over a period of about two months after I knew. I came out to my friend about 3-4 months after I knew, and my sister (accidently) about 4 months after I knew. I've know for 6 months now, not told anyone else yet.
     
  6. kibou97

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    From me accepting I wasn't straight to when I came out, it took roughly 3 months.
     
  7. indeed28

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    still in the closet but ive only just accepted the fact that im gay, looking to come out soon i think

    i've been asexual for along time, thought i was bisexual for alonger time, had some minor gender dysphoria, but i know that i was too confused and in too much denial to accept the truth, said that i was gay to a shrink not to long ago and it felt right but not quite ready to come out just yet
     
  8. peterw78165

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    About 3 years. I honestly regret staying in the closet as long as I did.
     
    #8 peterw78165, Jul 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2016
  9. Totesgaybrah

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    Probably 13 years, then I told my brother and a few other people but thats it so far. Getting close to telling mom I think.

    I only truly accepted it in oct 2015 but I basically knew since I was like 13.
     
  10. HuskyPup

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    Only about 4 years, give or take...came out when I was 17, rural area in Michigan in an era that would make me look old...but I'm awful glad I did. But looking back, it still feels like those four years were stolen from me, and there's this void, this darkness, this (retroactive) longing, that is still painful to think about, all the things I hid, and could not celebrate, or find joy in. So, now, I write poems about them, to feel better.
     
  11. Snoww

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    Came out to my mom officially as agender and gay for girls about a month after I knew, and I'm still closeted to my friends but I'm planning to come out in not long. But I knew something was different about me around 3 years ago ( since then I've tried many labels ).
     
  12. L0ser

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    I'm still in the closet I guess, only being out to three or four people. But I've known since early spring 2014, and told the first person in 2016. It took me about one and a half years, though it seems much longer.
     
  13. 108

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    15 miserable, confusing years.
     
  14. guitar

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    Had to answer. I was about 24 I think when I first came out to someone. Between absolutely*knowing* I was gay and finally telling someone, probably a few months. But it took my several years between first knowing and eventually just telling *everybody* in a massive email/Facebook post because I was too tired of telling people individually.
     
  15. crazydog15

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    Too long, is the easy answer. 20 years, if you're looking for a number. I was told I was gay by the first guy I ever remember finding attractive; he did it within about 5 minutes of me finding him attractive, and he decided that about a dozen or so other people standing around needed to know as well. Based on their reactions, I figured that being gay wasn't okay, and that unfortunately was reinforced for a long time after.

    Now, between the time I finally decided to stop fighting myself and the time I finally told someone? Maybe 2 or 3 months.
     
  16. Embi

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    I never really came out. I just don't hide it, but because most people don't ask, they still don't know. I repressed it for years and after I accepted it, it took me a few months not to hide it anymore.
     
  17. looking for me

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    came out to myself at 47, son and parents at 48, and the world at 49.(!):eusa_danc

    edited to add; I don't regret any of my decisions because I wouldn't be the person I am today or have my wonderful son be the person he is today, and will be tomorrow
     
    #17 looking for me, Jul 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  18. ChameleonSoul

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    Between accepting it for the first time and then telling someone in person for the first time, it took a little over a year for my sexual orientation and about a month for my gender identity.
     
  19. Flatulentius

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    Three years passed between when I came out to myself and when I came out to the friend who was the first person to whom I came out (sorry for that linguistic abomination, but I'm too tired to rewrite it). It's been three years since then, and I've told my story anonymously to many strangers online, both here and at a few other communities, but I've yet to come out in any significant way to people I know in person.
     
  20. laviedadele

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    I questioned and kept it all to myself for ~5 years before I told anyone, and even then it was acquaintances whilst drunk. 6 months after that I told some of my best friends sober, and that was 6 months ago... I would say I only have one foot out the closet.