How long did it take you to get comfortable saying "I'm gay"?

They aren't at all. That wasn't the point. Smart and tall are adjectives, like gay. I'm just saying IF you could be described as smart, tall and gay, then using all adjectives makes it seem like gay is just one part of you. Using the noun "lesbian" makes "smart" and "tall" extra bits of information in a sentence that focuses on your gayness.

Like an "academic woman" - gives the suggestion of a woman, who happens to be smart and educated.
A "female academic" - gives the suggestion of a smart educated person you should probably be listening to, who happens to be female.

The noun being qualified is always the focus of the sentence. Thats all I'm saying. It's uncomfortable to have you sexuality appear that defining in your description of yourself.

 

:bang: about 40 years! :eusa_doh:

 

I have always been gay, I have always been happy being gay but actually saying I'm gay is something I dislike. It's not about shame or denial or any other deep rooted issue. I just don't like saying it unless I have to because when I say I'm gay, I mean I'm attracted to men and nothing more. It doesn't mean anything more than that and it doesn't tell anything else about my personality but when you say it to some people, they instantly think they know everything about you.
The thing I dread most is someone replying with "oh I love gay people, you're so {insert patronising compliment}" because it makes me want to get all face punchy.