How long did it take for your parents to accept you?

I'm straight, but I completely accept the LGBTQ+ community! I just don't understand why some parents, even if they swore hundreds of times they'd love you no matter what, suddenly shun you and treat you worse than some foul thing they scraped off the sole of their shoe the instant you come out to them. It breaks my heart. I've decided that in the future, I'm going to make certain that my children feel loved, no matter if they're LGBTQ+, etc etc etc. Know that I am on your side and that I will support you, regardless of who you love. That's your choice entirely, and I don't interfere with others' choices and others' lives. Best of luck to you !!

 

I havent come out yet but my older sister told my parents that she was dating a girl over a year ago and they still arent fine with it. They are very religious and not open to any opinions other than the ones that agree with the bible. I think that maybe one day they will slowly start to realize that their view on the lgbt+ community is very closed-minded and start to accept a little more, but as for now there isnt much hope.

 

I don't think any of us can really, truthfully answer this question. My parents hardly flinched when I told them, but I think that's only because I prepared them in advance and told them I needed to talk about something important. They knew something was coming and mentally braced themselves. In reality, I'm sure there was at least some pain or disappointment when I said I am gay and that's only to be expected.

Before we can come out to anyone else we need to come out to ourselves and how long does that take? For most of us it's a process and it can be long, painful and arduous. So if it takes us some time to accept ourselves, is it not reasonable to expect that our parents will need some time too? I think it is and I think we need to understand that. We can't just hit them with it and think it will be drinks and celebrations all round.

 

Ummm I guess I’ll let you know in time...

 

I haven't come out to my parents. But my sister did. I'ld say like 2 or 3 months for dad, 9 for mom....? I don't know because mom's still not fully accepting of it yet. But that's when she started making light jokes.

Sister: "I took a picture of a puddle."

Mom: "Why? A pretty girl isn't going to pop up out of it you know."

... It's a Doctor Who thing.

 

When I came out, my parents' acceptance followed closely. To my surprise, my mum commented that she had "always suspected", so it wasn't exactly a shock to her. She went on to tell my dad, and show the letter I wrote, and he's fine with it too. Later on, a few months later I believe, my mum expressed her doubts.

Even though she had always suspected, she thought that I'd come out later than I did. My mum started talking about when she first had feelings for men, and how she was older than me when that happened.

I came out via a letter, on my 18th birthday. The night before my birthday, I snuck into my parents' room, and put the letter in one of my presents, so when they gave me the presents they would hopefully see it...and they did. In the letter I mentioned that at school I used to pretend to have crushes on boy band members as an attempt to fit in. A few months later when my mum started talking to me about it, she brought this up by mentioning that she was never into boy bands either and asked if I was sure. She asked me all sorts of questions, like how long I'd known for, if I was sure, and if I was nervous to tell them.

She suspected that I might come out some day, but she thought that I'd realise I was gay much later than I did. My mum always thought I'd start realising at 19, and tell her about it in my early to mid 20's or something. That's why when I came out earlier than she had originally expected, she wondered about her own judgement, and the possibility that I'm bi, and that I just haven't realised yet because I haven't reached the age when my mum started being interested in the opposite sex more...(yeah, it felt weird to be having that conversation). After telling her about having known for awhile though, I think she's somewhat convinced I'm gay, but partially wondering about the possibility that I'm bi.

As for my dad, he never asked any further questions, and was happy enough with the letter I wrote.