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How is the feeling of coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gooonerz, Aug 19, 2016.

  1. Gooonerz

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    I live in a country where coming out is a bad, bad idea, and death is very, very likely if you do so. Family will definitely disown me. No friend I know would look favourably upon me and sooner or later, some psycho would off me.

    Now I do plan to leave this country in about 2 years, and then come out. However, if I do this, sooner or later, my family would know. While at this stage, at times, I don't think, eff them, who needs a family that doesn't love you, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to think about. So I'm asking, how is the feeling?

    I'm guessing the freedom of it must be amazing. And right now, seeing that when I work shifts with my crush, all I'm thinking of is that if he finds out, he might just kill me himself or cost me my job, it just makes me wonder, am I even really living at this point? So at times it does seem like no choice at all, but then I think that I do love my family and my friends, but when I do leave and come out, I'll never ever be able to talk to them again. Nor would I want them to know where I was anyway.
     
  2. Goldensun

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    You're in a very difficult and dangerous situation and I have no idea what that must be like. All I can say is you need to take care of yourself and stay safe. It must be a terrifying situation for you. I'm sorry there is nothing more I can say or do for you. Take care, my friend.

    ---------- Post added 19th Aug 2016 at 07:06 AM ----------

    I forgot to answer your question - hopefully when you are somewhere safe and can come out about who you are, you'll experience the feelings of relief and happiness and self-respect and pride which I think most people experience when they can come out in a safe and supportive environment. Take care and stay safe.
     
  3. Gooonerz

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    Thanks for the concern, firstly, truly touching :slight_smile:

    That sounds great! Guess I have something to look forward to :slight_smile:
     
  4. Goldangel455

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    Well when you are in a more safe and open country, do come out. For me it felt liberating, empowering, and the freedom just felt so good. I also was really nervous and I was shaking after telling someone for the first time. After the first time though it gets way easier.
     
  5. Gooonerz

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    That's the plan, glad to hear it gets way better.
     
  6. sapphiregirl

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    First of all, I'm so sorry that you are in a dangerous position at the moment that is stopping you from coming out and being your true self. I wish you all the very best in your journey and hope you can live in a safe place one day that allows you to come out :slight_smile:

    In answer to your question, coming out can bring up a lot of emotions. I usually have very mixed emotions when I'm coming out to someone. In fact, today I actually came out to one of my new friends at university. For me, I always feel pretty nervous about saying the words, but once I get it over with I feel much better. It's scary because you're not totally sure how the person will react. It's also a relief because you feel like you are letting them know the real you - you're not hiding who you are.

    Once again, good luck!
     
  7. Kasey

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    I'm blessed I live in a location where I'd be in danger having come out so I cannot imagine what it's like to you. But moving out of the country is a fantastic plan.

    Coming out feels surreal at first but it becomes more and more natural. It feels like you are more true to yourself and those around you. Many say it's like a "weight has been lifted".
     
  8. Majush93

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    I think the feeling of coming out is different to everybody...people can feel stress, fear, anxiety, happiness, joy, relief and so on :wink: for me, the best feeling wasn´t coming out but the fact that I realized that I am bi and I accepted myself...my own acceptation caused me great deal of happiness (even when nobody knew it about me at that time) and I had a feeling like I could breathe easily :slight_smile: coming out was also great :slight_smile: but I think the important part is also just accpet yourself :wink:)

    by the way, you seem to be in dangerous situation so I wouldn´t probably come out if you are scared about your life :/ wait, until you will move out...where are you moving anyway? :slight_smile: is this place more open-minded? :slight_smile:

    and I don´t know how is your situation but do you have someone from your friends/family who could be supportive? if not, then try finding out someone on the internet...someone you could talk to, someone you have similar interests with :wink: internet is amazing for this :wink:) you can find similar people like you and talk to them...support each other :wink:) even on this forum :slight_smile:

    anyway, I wish you luck my friend... and courage :wink: one day, you will also know how the coming out feels and you will be around people who accepts you the way you are :wink: it gets better :wink:) have a nice day :slight_smile:
     
  9. Gooonerz

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    Thanks for the concern, guys, just posting on here gets so much worry off my mind, you guys have no idea how much it helps

    I live in Pakistan currently.

    I have been planning moving out for about 2 years now, lol. So I've managed to notch up a good GPA in my bachelor's, am now looking to get 2 years work experience just to make sure my Master's application can not be rejected. Looking at the UK, US or Canada.
     
  10. PigsCanFly

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    It's a bit weird at first but truly amazing after the initial feelings! The U.K is great, but I am a bit biased haha :grin: I'm sure the US or Canada could be great too! I'd choose depending on particular job opportunities or your general interests. If you were to move to the US do you have any ideas on which states you like? :slight_smile:
     
  11. logansarah

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    For me I was nervous when coming out, but the people I came out to (After questioning their opinions on the community) made it seem like not a big deal and afterwards I felt relief at having that out in the open.

    I hope your enjoy your new country when you move and get there safely. The best of luck.
     
  12. I'm gay

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    I came out to 3 more people in the last two days. How does it feel?

    Awesome!