I live in a country where coming out is a bad, bad idea, and death is very, very likely if you do so. Family will definitely disown me. No friend I know would look favourably upon me and sooner or later, some psycho would off me. Now I do plan to leave this country in about 2 years, and then come out. However, if I do this, sooner or later, my family would know. While at this stage, at times, I don't think, eff them, who needs a family that doesn't love you, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to think about. So I'm asking, how is the feeling? I'm guessing the freedom of it must be amazing. And right now, seeing that when I work shifts with my crush, all I'm thinking of is that if he finds out, he might just kill me himself or cost me my job, it just makes me wonder, am I even really living at this point? So at times it does seem like no choice at all, but then I think that I do love my family and my friends, but when I do leave and come out, I'll never ever be able to talk to them again. Nor would I want them to know where I was anyway.