Hey everyone, it's been a few months since I was here. At the start of September I was extremely occupied by so many things and I barely had any free time. But when things stabilized, I found myself in a completely different environment. I moved from Prague, away from the house I've been living in my whole life with my family, to a different city, because of the university I started. My life turned upside down. It's been awesome so far. I met new people, made awesome new friends, enjoyed university life, went to parties, finally started studying what I really like, and so on. Also something that should be mentioned, I started to be completely open about my sexuality (so far I was only out to some good friends and a few family members). I was really surprised how open minded people are here. So everything was perfect and going smoothly, until... I fell in love. For the 1st time in my life. I met this guy, let's call him Radek for example, during one event organized by one of my friends. When I firstly saw him, I started to feel a strange connection to him. By then I didn't quite realize what it really was. I wanted to talk to him more, however he left earlier and I didn't have a chance to do so. Since then, the feeling I got from this 'connection' grew stronger and stronger, until it completely filled my head. I've been thinking about him all the time, especially when I'm alone. I've been doing things like going to a party only for the reason to see Radek who I knew would be there, or waiting endlessly on a bus station that I knew he goes around often (yes I'm weird), and so on. When I was already sure what my feelings for Radek are, I decided to talk about it with that friend of mine who organized that event. Let's call her Petra for example. Petra studies the same subject as Radek, so they meet very often and know each other quite well. I told her everything because I trust her and I know her for a long time. She took it well and told me 2 things, a good one and a bad one. The good thing for me is, that Radek is gay. And the bad one is, that he's likely dating someone. These two pieces of information shaked my emotions a lot. Radek and Petra are both part of one group of friends that I do not belong to. They know each other well and Radek is supposedly open about his sexuality among them. However, based on what I know from Petra, he never told them about dating someone. There were supposedly only some 'clues', according to her. But, why would he never mention his boyfriend to them? I don't know... And that's the horrible thing that tears me apart... that I don't know. I don't know if he's dating someone, if I should keep trying to.. you know.. make him notice me more. The thing is, he belongs to a totally different social group, and Petra is basically my only connection to him (and lately she is occupied all the time). I would LOVE to talk to him more, to get to know him (I feel really weird that I have such feelings for someone I know in fact so little about), but that seems almost impossible. Whenever I see him, he's surrounded by his group of friends, and these very rare moments when I see him alone, something always disrupts it (last time I was so ready to talk to him when I saw him, but another unaware friend of mine appeared to greet me, and when I turned around, Radek was already gone). So, right now, I'm just trying to find a way to talk to him. Because doing nothing is really painful. I want to end this 'what if...' situation, no matter if it ends in a good or a bad way... Anyone who managed to read this, thanks. Hopefully there will be some updates...
Well I hope it goes well for you. I also been in love. Well I think I have I really don't know. I met this girl lets call her Bay. We meet at a church camp. She was 16 and I was 12. I didn't like her until I was 13 and she was 17. I was confused one day because we were talking alone and something clicked in my head. I wanted to talk to her more and so I did. I told her how I feel and got rejected hard core. She is straight and I still can't get her out of my mind. I don't know what to do. Need help!!!!
Thanks! I'm sorry that I don't know how to help you, but I wish you good luck and hopefully you'll get through it!
Love is tough, haha. Have you ever thought of asking Petra to see if he would go out for coffee or to eat with you? I know that is a bold move but why not give it a try. Talk about what you have in common? Obviously being gay is a topic. Maybe you will hit it off. ask him how he came out etc. what his hobbies are. I would just concentrate on trying to establish a friendship for now. Try and see if he might be interested in you? Just play it cool and see how it goes? Love is such a powerful emotion. Sometimes other people just don't have the same felling's and it hurts. You'll never know if you don't try something though. The best things are found on the other side of fear. So what is the worst that could happen? you find out he doesn't want to be your friend? then you can move on I guess. What if he does end up liking you? what if he ends up only being a friend? Build up some courage and give it a try. Think of questions to ask him and let him talk about himself. People love to talk about themselves. Be a good listener. Good Luck!
