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How have you changed since first joining here?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Nov 15, 2018.

  1. Canterpiece

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    Personally I'd say that my perspective on life has changed quite a lot since I first joined Empty Closets.

    A considerable amount of my old posts were fairly bleak, and showed an overall disdain for my life. It feels bizarre reading them now, and I am thankful for this place since it helped me to reach a healthier outlook. :slight_smile:

    This post in particular really sums up the bitter and bleak perspective I once held:

    I used to be so apathetic because deep down I was hurting inside. There was so much self-doubt, and I kept feeling as though I was doing things wrong...

    questioning every little thing...

    ...and this place always had my back. :slight_smile:

    If you're struggling with thoughts that have been mentioned in this thread, please either contact a member of staff on this site, or send me a message. Perhaps I could offer some advice on the subject. Not that I'm a professional, but I am willing to listen.
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Nov 15, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
  2. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Well, I've been exposed to a number of wonderful individuals who are all going through the same thing I am/was. I've learned a lot about the LGBT community as a whole, and have come out of my questioning phase and into a solid, definite sexual orientation "status". I've learned that a person's sexuality does NOT define who they are as a PERSON. It just means that their dating pool is slightly different than others' dating pool(s).

    I've also learned a lot about Transgender individuals. Before this site, I wasn't exposed to things like transgenderism. I didn't understand it. But I've been enlightened and feel more empowered through my new-found knowledge.

    I've also grown as a person. I've come out of my shell a little (note: A LITTLE...Lol) and learned to accept all aspects of who I am, and I repeat: I've learned that someone's sexuality does not define who they are. When I first joined, I was questioning. Then I came out to my parents as a lesbian. I got my first serious girlfriend and thought to myself, "Wow, I guess I really AM gay (lesbian)". I've had a crush on a nice, attractive man for many years, and when I saw him at a party, I realized that I'm still attracted to men. More specifically, him. So I came out a second time, as bisexual. I've found that I actually prefer men over women, hence the bisexual label. I'm still romantically (and who knows, maybe sexually) attracted to women, so labelling myself straight just didn't feel right.

    There are many things that I would never have done if it hadn't been for EC, and of course, my lesbian cousin and all the other lesbians and gay men I know. I went to my first ever Pride festival in 2016, and my second one last month. I probably would never have gone, had it not been for EC, who, through all the wonderful and helpful members, helped me figure out my sexuality. EC hasn't only helped with that, though. There are many other things that I needed to talk about, and EC's members have been a great help in that, too. I think EC has helped me grow as a person, and continues to do so.
     
  3. Lgbtqpride

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    Im happier now, emptycloset make me feel like there is still hope for the future.
     
  4. Hawk

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    I definitely changed a lot from when I first joined. When I first joined I was in a place of questioning and I was super confused about my identity and how I identified. After reading and looking at other people's experiences, and looking for other resources (besides EC) and listening to other people, I'm in a much better place in terms of identity and I was able to see how complex gender identity really is. I really think there are way too many gender labels for every little discrepancy, and I think that's what made me even more confused. Not saying that people can't identify that way, I just think that if someone's questioning you have to keep it super simple.
    I do think I'm in a much better place, my parents semi-know that I may not be 100% straight or cis, but I wouldn't say I'm "out" either. I'm hoping in the new year I'll be able to come out to more people, maybe get a girlfriend and go from there.
     
  5. AwesomGaytheist

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    I’m a lot more mature, a lot more wiser, and frankly more grizzled than green.
     
  6. HM03

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    More confidence in myself and my sexuality; and all the benefits that come with it.
     
  7. mbanema

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    My life has changed in that I've met a few good people through EC, but personally I don't think I've changed much at all. Still closeted and pretty hopeless, still working the same job, living in the same place.
     
  8. Destin

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    More calm I guess. I was pretty much an emotional wreck around the time I joined here and didn't understand anything about gay stuff. It all made me feel terrible. This place has helped me understand things more and be less fearful.
     
  9. Love4Ever

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    I've become way more comfortable with my sexuality and learned so much about it. Talking here has been so beneficial for me.
     
  10. Nightlight

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    I was here a few years ago. I had my old account here. Back then I was very unsure of my sexuality. I'd get responses like "You are very bisexual!" "Only you'd know for sure!" whenever I'd post multiple questions about my orientation. I was constantly insecure about not knowing who I am because everyone seemed so sure about themselves. It even distracted me from studying for college entrance exam. To stop myself from overthinking, I decided to delete my old account.

    A year later I rejoined as exam was over. The uncertainty never goes away, though I am more sure of myelf that I no longer think the label "questioning" fits me anymore. I know more stuff than the state of being questioning for sure.

    I was so gald that there was a mobile version now. Yessss much more convenient than zooming in to read every sentence.
     
  11. europeanguy

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    a list:

    1. I went from 6th form to university

    2. I came out (as gay) to my family and friend

    3. I got diagnosed as Autistic (and not in a light way)
     
  12. Loves books

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    I tried university so my mother can stop deluding herself that if I lived near a city I’d do more and telling me I don’t know what I’m missing. I lived within walking distance of Cork city center and still spent all my time in my room I don’t mind missing it.

    I came out to some people I wish I hadn’t and some people who didn’t care.

    I voted for the president of my country based on their looks and county they’re from ( the only candidate I knew was the current president) and made a vote I only agree with in some circumstances and lied to my family about it so they won’t hate me

    Realised I am not the only gay person in the world

    Got my dog

    The kids of several of my cousins liked me at a family garden party and I’d never had that admiration because my family is the youngest out of all my dads siblings.

    I made peace with the fact I’m 26 and still live my parents and since my financial situation won’t change anytime soon I’m stuck with them. And now know loads of other people are in the same situation.
     
  13. kibou97

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    Hmm, I guess I've grown to be slightly more confident and outgoing since I first joined this site, a lot of that though has to do with me entering university, being on my own, and trying to interact more with people online. As far as my sexuality goes, I've grown way more comfortable with my sexuality in the past 8-ish months than I ever was before which is also really nice. Other than that, I suppose I'm the same guy as I was a few years ago.
     
  14. PatrickUK

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    It's an interesting question Canterpiece.

    As a staff member, I look at it from a slightly different position. It's not so much about how I have changed, but how I have seen other members change. It's been good to see members move from a place of fear, distress and negativity to a place of strength, determination and happiness. Some have completed the journey, others are still on it, but making good progress.

    I wouldn't say I have changed very much on a personal level, because many of the necessary changes in my life occurred long before I joined EC. Having said that, some members have prompted me to think more carefully and my perspective has changed on some issues.
     
  15. Austin

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    I wish I could say I’ve changed more in 10 years.
     
  16. LunaMare

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    I love how eveything changed and I feel so much better about myself compared to when I joined almost 2 years ago.

    I joined conviced that I still liked boys but might be ‘a little bi’. I was so unsure and felt like I was making this up. My first post is still full of denial.

    Since then I fell in love for the first time, I had my heart broken for the first and I really learned what I want! Now I’m out as a lesbian to everyone and I feel very confident in who I am and I’m happy with my life
     
  17. Love4Ever

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    I went from being straightish to lesbianish. In a matter of months.
     
  18. Shadows123

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    Well, I joined when I was 15 (and that was five years ago) and I was an edgy emo. Now I am an employed 20 year old edgy emo who has slightly more confidence.
     
  19. Mihael

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    I changed a lot, but because I went to university and grew up a lot. But this site has been immensely helpful :slight_smile: Like others, i gained a lot of confidence and learned about emotions an awful lot, learned to cope with them a lot better... which come from the understanding.
     
  20. LaurenSkye

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    Before joining, I had never even heard the terms "Gender-Fluid" or "Androgyne" let alone realizing that those terms could describe who I am. (I still had to check my profile to find out how to spell "Androgyne")