1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do You Stop Yourself from Crying?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Plattyrex, Apr 15, 2016.

  1. Plattyrex

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2015
    Messages:
    707
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flint
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi. I cry way too much. I don't mind crying, but I feel like if I do it in public it makes people feel less of me. I feel like if I could jst control it at school it might help my self esteem a little bit. Is there anything I could do to stop myself when I feel like crying?
     
  2. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I have a desk punch ball that I punch when I'm stressed or upset, that's really helped.

    I also like to write stories, talk to characters I've created and go to sleep [if it's after 21:30].
     
  3. EnchanterForest

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2016
    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England (From NZ)
    I am the same as Secrets5, I write stories and characters. And like I make character talk to each other about "their" problem when it is just mine and all.

    I also play sports to get rid of my frustration and all.
     
  4. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,682
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Southern FL
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Think about anything else. Things you like that are not at all related to what's making you cry. It will distract you until the urge passes if you can manage it.

    I've got the opposite problem, where I don't cry even if I think it would help. But I don't consider it to be weak. :slight_smile:
     
  5. RawringSnake

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2015
    Messages:
    1,638
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Avoid Pixar movies.
     
  6. Browncoat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,053
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Zefram Cochrane's hometown.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't have to stop myself, sadly.
     
  7. SHACH

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2015
    Messages:
    949
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Somehow recently it seems more like I have to try and fail to make myself cry than stop myself. Years of training since about 5 haha. I've always HATED crying in public. I can pretty much only cry when I feel completely trapped in an argument (I guess my body is just trying to give me a get out of jail free card to get out of the situation) with mainly my mother or authority figures, or very very very rarely in bed in the dark. Not even alone during daytime. Just er, really control your breathing and divert your mind.
     
    #7 SHACH, Apr 16, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2016
  8. Brytaleith

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2016
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Shi'Kahr
    When I cry, I realise that my emotions are running rampant, so I usually ask myself stuff like 'why am I feeling this way', 'what can I do to stop it', 'what better things do I have to do rather than sobbing my eyes out'. I tell myself to stop, compartmentalise the feelings and get over the breakdown. For me, this pretty much shuts down all emotions quickly and allows me to get back on track on my work.
     
  9. Gunsmoke

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2016
    Messages:
    609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manchester, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've never cried in public. But when I'm alone and about to cry, I clench my fists and take deep breaths (that may be because I sometimes cry when I'm angry) and then I try to focus on something else. I've never tried Secret5's idea but it sounds like a good one. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Sharka Sharka

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2016
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Stopping yourself from crying takes a lot of self-control, do not think about what it is that is making you cry.

    Some things I do to stop myself from crying:
    - Count to 0 from 100 (always works for me)
    - Think only of positive thoughts (I'll tell myself, "You're not allowed to cry")
    - Reading
    - Doing homework
    - Taking a short walk
     
  11. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I try to preoccupy myself with music or videos on Youtube...though I might subconsciously put on depressing music to make me more upset.
     
  12. AngelLikesSpace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2016
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I usually start imagining up a story when I feel sad and don't want to cry. It'll usually either be me doing something else or characters from my favorite things. But I daydream up full stories all the time so sometimes it doesn't work cuz I'm too upset and then I just have to try not thinking about anything.
     
  13. Kira

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    1,623
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Georgia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I... don't know.

    My father sort of forced me to never cry, to the point to where I'll just get red-faced, my eyes will water, but the tears just don't happen. Now that I finally live away from him, I want to get it back. It makes me feel broken to say the least.

    I'd say don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, crying is perfectly normal and natural.
     
  14. Cedar

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2015
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Out in the country, Ontario
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    I used to hold it all in but nowadays I don't really care if I cry in public or not. I'd rather just let it go instead of bottling it up inside.
     
  15. silverdeer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2016
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I just hold my negative emotions in and let my good emotions explode everywhere! :3
     
    #15 silverdeer, May 30, 2016
    Last edited: May 30, 2016
  16. jaska

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new zealand
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hide under a blanket or something and take deep breaths until I calm down then go and make some hot tea or hot chocolate
     
  17. Nicaklaus

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2016
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Gender:
    Male
    I tend to just remove my solution from the situation as quickly as possible...
     
  18. tyro

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    It depends on what I'm crying about. Sometimes it is healthy other times some perspective is needed.
     
  19. R M

    R M
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2015
    Messages:
    357
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I talk about it with my best friend. Or I lay on bed and listen to music while letting it all out. after I realise how dumb I was and such a dramaqueen I was being
     
  20. Systems

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2014
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If your ultimate goal is improving your self-esteem, this would be counterproductive. What you're looking for is self-acceptance and self-actualization, not changing something about yourself to fit in. Fitting in isn't as rewarding as being yourself, becoming the person you want to be, accepting yourself, respecting yourself, and loving yourself.

    I find it almost certain that your feelings of "crying too much" are informed by stigma and shame, not an aversion to crying itself. Some people might not like crying, but I often hear people say they find crying to be healing. That's how I feel. I used to be very hurt by the stigma of crying and having feelings, but I've come to accept, respect, and love myself and my feelings and how I manage them, and I now cry unabashedly. My only concern about crying in public is strangers trying to talk to me.

    Crying is a natural response to stress and negative emotions, and inhibiting it can hurt you in the long run. Also painful is feeling ashamed of crying and your feelings, or being derided for them. Seeing your feelings and crying as valid, respectable, and good will help you.

    That said, there is a stigma to crying, especially in public, and especially for men and boys, but the stigma is the problem, not crying. If you are harassed for crying in public, it might be safer to find a way to hold it back, but if you do, I'd recommend thinking back on it later and if the tears come, then great!