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How do you not hate straight people?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by memyself, Jun 22, 2013.

  1. memyself

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    So I just got back from the straight bar. Me and my bff went. I have come to realize that I have a huge problem with hating straight people. And I know, it's jealousy. I am so f:***:ing jealous that straight people get to simply open their eyes and meet other straight people. Everywhere, straight people. They're always flirting with each other, they're all in relationships with each other, and they're all "normal". I f:***:ing hate them!

    A straight person can walk up to another straight person of the opposite gender and hit on them, and if the person being hit on says "I'm gay", no problem. They're the weird one because they're gay. Oh hahaha it's something to laugh about. But me, I have to be so f:***:ing cautious when hitting on guys. 99% of the time, when I think a guy is gay, I'm wrong. And even is the guy is "nice" when trying to say "sorry, I'm straight" they never say it in a nice way. They always panic and make sure they politely communicate how disgusting they find men. "woah, woah, woah, definitely not bro! I like women!" Why don't straight people have to deal with this sh:***:?!?

    I hate being the minority. I hate being the one that's different. I hate being the only gay person I know. And I'm trying not to, but I hate straight people.

    I don't want to hate straight people. It's not healthy. 90% or more people are straight. How could I hate 90% of people?

    How do any of you do it? I need to get over this or I will go crazy. I don't want to hate them, but I'm so f:***:ing jealous of how easy they have it.
     
  2. Sardonic

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    Hi there, sounds like stuff isn't going so well tonight :/ I'm sorry to hear that! I understand the jealousy thing too. I grew up in a similar place, very similar judging from your profile location, and I can tell you I never met any openly non-straight people my age until I moved out of town for college. Whilst I'm younger than you, seeing as how you're hitting the bar scene, I think I still understand to some extent. The way I realized I was bi was falling in love with my college roommate, who is 100% straight.

    I let myself get way too emotionally attached and etc etc all that relationship crap before I even realized it was possible for it to happen to me. It all hit me like a ton of bricks, and the jealousy thing I get--his girlfriend was a frequent visitor mid-way through the year, and I was burning up with it (kinda how I figured it out). I hated him and her and everyone for all that stuff you brought up. But when I tried to act on that hate and verbally lash out at them, I couldn't.

    And that's the thing. I suspect you don't hate them at all, just like I really didn't hate them. What you hate is the suffering they cause inside your own soul, the hate that you put upon yourself because of the environment you're in. That's what I realized after all that stuff with my roommate happened. I wanted to rip him out of my life, to throw him and everyone else I cared about away, but I couldn't. Instead, I told him what was going on and was completely 100% accepted for who I was.

    The thing is, you probably don't hate those people any more than I hated my roommate. You want to hate them, you want to hate them so badly, and what you really feel most jealous about is that they don't have to deal with those bad feelings that really have nowhere to go. You know deep inside you can't blame them for being them, just like they can't blame you for being you. But the pain is still there.

    That's what I'm working through right now, but I am glad to understand what I just typed to you, because now I don't resent people in the manner you are describing anymore.
     
  3. Gen

    Gen
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    I don't hate them because I don't have the time.

    Though many people use that concept in a way to immaturely cope with negativity. "Love My Haters" and all of that unrealistic babble. Everyone is going to be effected by some sort of malice in their lives; it is simply a matter of how much we allow those frustrations to prevent us from moving forward. I could be jealous of straight people for their privilege. I could be jealous archetypal masculine men for being more commonly desired and respected. But I would just rather not do without the brain cells I would waste every day I spent wallowing in anger.

    At the end of the day, if someone chooses to cheat on a test, I couldn't careless. Although it might make their path in life easier than mine in that instance and they might be out blissfully partying while I stay in a study all night, its not going to prevent me from passing my test and getting to where I need to go in my life. Not to mention, how might I fair on my own exam, if I spent the entire night festering about their decisions.

    Life isn't fair; and I don't mean that in the sarcastic way most people use that phrase. It honestly isn't fucking fair... Though we can waste the days and fortune that we do have running around weighing everything and everyone on scales, or we can do the best we can to make the best of what we were given.
     
  4. MerBear

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    I dont hate straight people because not all them dont hate me and also, they're humans just like us except they have different sexual orientation but just like us, straight people get bullied, get discriminated against (for different reason but still reasons) and have to deal with problems like we do, maybe not the same but they still are problems.

    we are only human. emotion is natural and so is attraction.
    straight people may sometimes have it easier but they also have to deal with problems like feeding their families and dealing with holding a job but some LGBT people have to do this too ....we are all same except we have different sexual orientations and i think its important to respect each individual regardless
     
  5. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    Sorry man, that's just the way it is. 97 percent of the population Is straight so get used to it. You'll have to put in extra effort If you want to find gay guys.
     
  6. Pret Allez

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    Straight people are pretty nice to me, in general.
     
  7. charmander

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    To Be Honest I Have a Little Hatred for Straight People,Only Because they Think They Understand me. So I Try To Avoid Them (Witch Hasn't Really worked because I'm The Only One I Know That's Hopped out Of Narnia) but In The End it's Not their Fault But It's Also Not Ours. It Also Doesn't help that I'm possibly in love with a straight guy.
     
  8. Gazza123

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    I do and I don't... I'd say for me 'hate' is a bit of a strong word. I don't hate them, just a little envious of how things are easier for them but then I guess there is thing that are difficult for them.

    I think it's more being able to date, etc etc without the harsh judgement. Stuff like that really
     
  9. Hexagon

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    Because I don't hate people for having more than me unless they abuse it.
     
  10. Rakkaus

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    I don't hate them, but I've found that a lot of straight people are more insecure, lacking in self-awareness, and just plain ol' ignorant compared to gay people, and thus unpleasant to be around. When meeting straight people, you never know whether one of them will think you're an abomination and want to beat you up or kill you. Not all straight people are like this of course, but enough that I'm hesitant to want to be around them, especially heterosexual men.

    Even many of them who claim to be supportive of gay equality will still lack the self-awareness to recognize when they are actually doing something offensive to gay people and flaunting their own privilege as straight people.

    I'm not really jealous of them, more I just pity them. For all its downsides, I think being gay encourages a level of internal development and capability for introspection that most straight people lack. I think there is a reason why queer people are way overrepresented in fields of creativity and passion, such as literature, art, music, fashion, theatre, cinema.

    Perhaps I just have different values from most. Yeah it would be great to have it as easy as straight people in terms of being able to find a mate and all that, but I place greater value on the deeper, intellectual side of things. Of course there are many other things that can cause self-actualization in a straight person, but too many of them will go to their graves living in a narrow bubble without ever reflecting on their own lives or the world around them in the way that gay people are forced to do from a young age.
     
  11. King

    King Guest

    I don't hate straight people because I'm comfortable with my sexuality.

    Hating somebody because they're straight says a lot about ones comfort level with their own sexuality no matter how you look at it...
     
  12. HippieWitchMama

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    Easy. I don't hate anyone.
     
  13. Amerigo

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  14. Beware Of You

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    I don't hate straight people, I wish I could be one of them, I envy them
     
  15. Tightrope

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    It seems that straight people sometimes act and think as if they're packaged. It's fairly predictable. I don't like that segment. And that includes right-wing ultra-conservative religious zealots. The ones who are broad-minded are fine.
     
  16. StefaniW

    StefaniW Guest

    I reserve my hatred for bigotry and a system of priviledge that puts LGBT people at the bottom of the totem pole, not for those who are lucky enough to be born in such a way that they benefit from this priviledge.

    Plus I AM straight, deeeerp. Aaawkward, lolz. XD
     
  17. Stridenttube

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    I'm studded about how many of you have these feelings towards straight people. Lolwut? I don't understand at all. All of my friends are straight guys and some of them are jealous of me and wish they could be gay. The grass is always greener peeps.
     
  18. gravechild

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    No, that's ridiculous. They didn't choose to be straight anymore than you chose to be gay, and as someone formerly identified as straight, I can say they don't deserve half the implications that come with a word like 'hate'.

    I have friends who absolutely loathe white people, they won't even shop in the same stores or look one in the eye. I think it's immature and comical, hoping they'll grow out of it someday, too.
     
  19. Tightrope

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    ^
    I see your point but there are in fact straights with kids, especially if white and affluent, who think they are better than the rest of society and let them know it, even subtly. These people are annoying. Hate is a strong word, but annoying fits well.
     
  20. Chickenlover

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    Most of my friends are straight. They love me and respect me. Therefore I love and respect them too.

    What I hate is the society that has conditioned them to be that way. Straight people are just as much the victims of it as us. It's just us who feel the backlash.