How do you meet other LGBT people?

I have got to the stage where I really want to meet other gay people. All my friends are straight, and since I came out to them I just feel 'different' to them somehow. I still want to be friends with them but for my sake and theirs I would like to meet other gay people.

I just think it would be nice not to feel isolated all the time, to have someone to talk to (straight men act like they're gonna be physically sick if anyone mentions anything outside of their hetero comfort zone).

I have no idea where other gay people are...

I live in a small town but I found online that there are LGBT centres in 2 cities about 1 hour bus journey from here (one in the city where I work). One has now closed down and the other ONLY has events/meetings for older people and specific ethnic groups (I know this is a good thing because support for these groups are lacking).

I just don't know what to do... I can't just go to a bar because all the gay bars in the city are in a really dodgy area that is famous for drugs and sex and nothing else. And I don't have anyone to go with.

What happens at LGBT centres? Can uou just go along? I saw the one near me had a yoga class starting. Ive always wanted to have a go at yoga but... I'd be going on my own and there would probably be no one my age.

Plus, I don't know, if I DID somehow find another gay person if they would even accept me: I'm not the typical gay man- not flamboyant, not anything like other gay men. And I'm not good-looking and not out so I'm basically a second-class citizen in the gay world.

Also, my dad constantly demands to know where I am and who I am with every second of every day, so it would be difficult...

I just feel alone and isolated. Sorry if this is all a big rant (all my posts seem to be rants, and everyone on EC is always so helpful, but inevitably I feel bad soon after, maybe it is something in my genes that I just cannot be happy).

How do you meet other gay people? Sorry again, just ignore me if you think I'm being whiny I've just had enough of everything (again...).

 

Hey!
...Sorry, I don't have any advice, but I wish you good luck in finding gay friends!

 

Perhaps you could try some different apps to help you connect with other gay people in your area. Im sure there are apps for just making friends like there are for finding partners

 

I know most of the LGBT people I have met from video games and school. But I'm sure you won't have too much trouble finding friends on some websites that are designed for such.

 

rainydaytofu,

Have you tried outdoorlads, they operate all over the country and i recently joined up and went for a 15 mile walk yesterday in fact. they have walking,hostel weekend,camping,climbing,canoeing, sailing and loads of other events. just google them and they have info and videos etc.. they were all really friendly and can check out my thread meeting new people in the later out in life section

 

Thanks for your reply. I've heard of Outdoorlads. It seems like it would be more for people like me; I do walking but nothing as adventurous as what they do. I think I'm probably not brave enough to go on my own either, and there is the matter of having to tell my parents where I'm going (I'm only 23, haha maybe I should have mentioned that!).

Anyway, thanks for the suggestion, it is just that I'm too nervous to do anything like that

 

No worries rainydaytofu, but they were really a lovely bunch of guys and welcoming maybe in a few months time.

 

I hope so! Did you go on your own? Sorry for all the questions lol

 

Really thats what this place is about questions and answers so please ask..I did go on my own. i signed up and had to have my profile picture verified , it had be a decent one and not explict i assume. then i signed up for the walk and it said that it was full and i was 3rd in the waiting list so had in my head i wasn't going.Then the next day which was 3 days away from the walk i was 2nd in the list. Still thought being so close that i wasn't going to go. Friday came day before and i recieved an email saying that i was going. The anxiety hit my like a pile of bricks as i had physced myself up to go then thinking i wasn't going. So went out for a littel walk and came back and i said i am going to do it. The next day i was less anxious and went .I found out that people put their names down especially for walks way in advance and then nearer the time back out either to other commiments or weather conditions. Even if i was on the waiting list still i was still envited i found out.

A few people knew each other from other events but the majority of them didn't know each other.I tried to remember names but at the end of the 15 minles was so bloody knackered that i was just able to put one foot in front of the other while i was sweating everyone else was as if it was a stroll in the park.lol . I am hoping to go to a beginners indoor climbing session in london if i can come off the medication thats stopping me from driving.

 

Do any of your friends have other gay friends they can introduce you to? Tell them you're not looking to be set up on dates but are just trying to meet other like-minded people

 

Have you considered starting your own MeetUp group for the area you are in?

 

Weirdly, no. Well, one friend has a roommate who is gay but my friend got all jealous and didn't want us to mix after he saw we were getting on well (God knows why people act that way *sigh*).

Thanks for the suggestion though

 

Hmm that sounds like a good idea in theory lol. I did think about looking on Meetup but there isn't anything for young people.

If only I lived in the south of England- then you can't move for helplines and resources XD only joking.

Maybe I will check Meetup again. Thanks for the suggestion, I do appreciate it Everything kinda hinges on me actually being brave and taking risks... So probably nothing's going to change!

 

Make yourself vulnerable, start your own group, and watch how you build confidence doing so!!!

 

Hiya rainyday,

I can't really help you with meeting other gay people, but answering your question on LGBT centres, they are very useful. The one in my are does drop-in sessions, which are useful as the advisers can tell you in more detail what the centre offers, what would suit you best based on your situation, etc.

Your father is just like my mother, she demands that I inform her of everything I do. The only way that worked for me is to say a little white lie. For example, I said that I'm going to the library, but I didn't say that I'll be going to an LGBT centre. It's not exactly a lie, but it was for the greater good. Don't do it too often.

That's my two pence, hope this helps.

 

So, I've been considering visiting my local LGBT center. I don't really know what to do or say when I do go however. My situation is complicated, however I do wish to meet others that I can relate to. Has anyone on her actually been to one and can shed light on what they are like?

 

I have been struggling with the same things. I live in a smaller area, and honestly, for a long time I thought there just wasn't anyone.

Recently, I've been stepping out more and have been looking for friends and one guy in particular has like 1,500 facebook friends. I scrolled through and there are soooo many men, and a lot are listed as being in this part of the state. I was shocked.

It's such a hard thing to do. I would say that you should try online - look around, see who's nearby. Preferably, look for an app or site that focuses a little less on sex. The infamous one that starts with G, although intended for hookups, can be used to find friends. Just stick to what you want and you will find it.

 

Honestly, I feel you. It depends what you want, of course. I live in London, so my options are a bit wider, but I do recommend Meetup, even if you have to 'shop around'. I also know guys that have joined and enjoy OutdoorLads, although I haven't. Also, photoguy95 is right. I don't know how much you meet guys online, but remember that if you are doing this definitely don't write them out of your life if things don't 'work out' that way. Indicating to them that you're interested in being friends as well is recommendable. A guy I dated briefly whom I met on ####### is a good friend of mine now - it can work if you both are interested in that.

 

Oh, those hashtags mean the website I mentioned where I met my friend was blocked. Is that cos it's referring to another website? Oh well, point is we met somewhere that's less known for being about sex, where one can meet both dates and friends. It may or may not begin with 'O', fwiw.

 

Outdoorlads is only in Europe so if you don't live there you're up a creek.