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How do you know it's time to let someone go?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Verklighet, Mar 3, 2020.

  1. Verklighet

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have been best friends with someone who I'll call W for a year and since then of two months ago, another person, B, has joined the picture. B was jealous of W and I being so close and would kind of fight him for me and I confronted him about it, telling him that he's too new to be saying stuff like this, he doesn't even know W (he was telling me bad things regarding our age difference). That has since then passed, but I had marked it as an uncool bit about B, he starts fights.

    B quickly becomes a part of W and I's life as he always wants to be around. This goes on for about a month until W comes to me and tells me he needs to talk about B. I ask him why and he tells me that because he's about to "cut him and I off." I was very shocked by this and listened to what he had to say. B would not leave W alone, because everytime he wanted to get onto his console to play a game, B was "waiting for him." W wanted his alone time "because I'm an introvert," but B was getting in the way of that. I talked to him about it and told him to leave him alone. I told B that we were done, we can't be friends anymore if this is going to keep happening, but he managed to get his way back in.

    I realized I needed a break from B and did just that. During that time, B would ask W "what do I do about Verklighet" and W warned him that if he asked him one more time about me, he is going to cut him off, or ignore him. He got there and B came to me after W told me what happened. I told B that he was warned and that he needed to leave him alone.

    This morning, B asks me if he should even try to be friends with W anymore and I tell him to take a hint and leave him alone. I'm very irritated with him now. W warned me that I should drop him before things get out of hand, but I guess I'm lonely and enjoy B's company. It's been very conflicting with me today.

    On Saturday, I was about to play a game with my brother, B, and W, and I told W that B was going to be playing with us, "if that's okay with you." He told me no and said that he'd play later. He also told me that "dude's a stalker," and that made me rethink every other thing that I would tell B. I'm having problems with B but I shouldn't tell him that because it could fuel whatever it happening and he doesn't need to know what I'm thinking, bla bla bla.

    You should know that all of this is happening online. We all play Xbox together. We are all treating this as if it was real life and I'm taking it all very seriously. If you have more questions, please ask, I wrote this all out on a time crunch, but I wanted to get this out. It's out now.

    I told a friends about this problem this morning and he told me I should try and find a new squad altogether, but I really would like to keep W around, I like him, and I trust he knows what he's talking about, he's like my mentor (he is a lot older than me). I don't know what to do. Do I wait it out and see what happens? Do I take action and boot one or more people away? I don't want B to act up again if he does, because if it gets to W, something bad may happen. I don't think I can leave this problem alone anymore.

    Nothing is happening now, I guess, but I sure wouldn't feel this way if there was never any drama in the first place when B was introduced.
     
  2. Broccoli

    Full Member

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    Location:
    UK
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    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm not sure that I follow the whole story, but the dynamic between the three of you seems rather odd (I'm not a gamer so I have no idea if this is normal). The implication seems to be that the two guys are fighting over you?:
    You need to decide for yourself whether you want to be friends with either or both of them and take responsibility for your decision - B didn't 'manage to get [his] way back in', you actively accepted him back in, and you also don't seem to be able to decide whether you want to be friends with him or not so no wonder he's being persistent:
    If you don't want to maintain a friendship, is there not a way of just blocking him on whatever game you play (sorry if that's a naive question)?

    If my first impression is correct, W isn't exactly an impartial observer in this little drama. You don't have to share your age on here, but if you are a minor or young adult please be extremely careful with becoming 'close' to a much older guy who you see as a 'mentor' - talk about the relationship with someone responsible you know and trust in 'real life' and listen to what they say.