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How do you deal with homophobia?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ellyy, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. ellyy

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    Whenever someone says something homophobic to you or someone else, how do you react? Does it affect you at all?
     
  2. Anthemic

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    Yes it does. But I just remain quiet and rant-text my girlfriend. >_<
     
  3. Aeolia

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    Since I'm not really out, I tend to keep it quiet or to just jokingly tell them that they're some intolerant bastards xD
    And for those who know... well... I cough and then they keep quiet, I do the same when they're being racist.
     
  4. happydavid

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    I try not to respond at all. I hate conflict
     
  5. Rainbows~Exist

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    Anyone ignorant enough to be homophobic is not worth my time and doesn't deserve any response from me.
     
  6. Mystic flower

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    I remain silent and try to get away from the person or make an excuse to leave. I can't hide reactions well, especially when there is critizism involved.
     
  7. Coffee Guy

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    Depends. I once had co-workers who were super rednecks and what they had to say about gays was pure poetry. In the interest of self-preservation, I thought it best to remain silent. If they are run of the mill conservative Christians, I simply say that gays are just like them; even though they don't know I'm gay, I point out that homosexuals have the same problems, worries, hope, faith, the same jobs as they do. What I don't do is get angry about it.
     
  8. tendergeists

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    It depends on the environment. I used to work with two completely ignorant women who expressed a lot of homophobic views. In a work-place, this isn't appropriate small-talk, and it would always get me fuming. However, outside of work I'm generally pretty vocal about shutting someone down. It's okay to feel how you feel, I couldn't care less if someone was completely anti-gay, but the second they begin to belittle someone for being gay, or they start flapping their gums about what have you, I usually tell them to put a lid on it. I've been openly heterosexual most of my life (I've come here just recently to address some personal things I haven't spoken to many people about) so I feel safe shutting my friends or family down about it.

    When I don't say something I feel like I am a part of the problem. I want to protect my friends and family from that sort of toxicity. I'm very harsh, and I have no tolerance for that crap.

    On another hand I've been trying to teach my little brothers about LGBT-rights. When my baby brother came home from school saying that he had helped pick on a little boy and that he had called this boy gay and that he was gross for being gay, I handled the situation a lot differently. Because he was just a child (around 6-7 at the time), I approached him and genuinely talked to him about it. Truth be told he didn't even know why some people hated "gay" people. I had to teach him that calling someone gay as an insult (or even discriminating that way to begin with) wasn't okay and why.

    So I think it really depends on your situation and your environment. Some people I pity for their ignorance... Some people I lash out at pretty aggressively, and others I try to educate.

    It's a game of picking your battles a lot of the time. The best thing that I can do is try to teach my younger family members and my future children (maybe one day) that hatred is not okay, and that every human being has a right to love who they love regardless of what YOU think is appealing.
     
  9. Ryu

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    Not being out helps here...
     
  10. ANewDawn

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    Same.
     
  11. wannahavechange

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    I don't know. I mean everyone thinks differently when it comes to the orientation of someone else. Although I am gay and have made my orientation clear to most of my friends who are made up of 50/50 guys and gals. They sometimes forget that I am gay, just because I like to listen to heavy metal, well actually alot of rock music, I'm not flamboyant. And I love scary movies. Sometimes I have to stop and ask. Am I not gay enough? But no, I've never dealt with homophobia, except from certain family members and I just shrug it off. Everyone has their own agenda, so if you wanna make someone feel bad about their orientation, I would say to them is it harming you physically and if you don't like it go somewhere else.
     
  12. Anthemic

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    I agree with some of the posters. I hate conflict. Now, if I were open with my sexuality and they openly said negative things about gay people, then I would get offended, and I'd let them know.
     
  13. MAtt1234

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    I usually just brush it off... Some of my friends say some homophobic things sometimes, that is the only time I try to lecture people about the fact that LGBT people are people too, just not conforming to the stereotypes. But if it's people I don't know I'd just sit and listen to how ignorant they are - hence avoiding conflict.

    Hurts sometimes though.
     
  14. CyanChachki

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    I laugh at it. There ain't nothing I haven't heard before and getting angry over something they've said only fuels their fire to do more damage. Getting mad gives them that power, the control to upset you even further. It's best to just shrug and make a simple comment like "That's it? If you're going to try and come for me, at least think of something clever." So now, you're taking that power back from them. Whenever I hear homophobic comments, all I hear is someone who is angry, broken and immature. What's funny is that they had the choice. The could've chosen the high road but decided against it. At my age, there's nothing more you can do but feel sorry for them.
     
  15. Rainsworth

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    By not dealing with homophobia.
     
  16. shota

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    Hide from the world in my closest duh
     
  17. YuriBunny

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    Come up with some sort of witty comeback. Or just roll my eyes and walk away. At any rate I usually try to imply that they're being immature or bigoted.
     
  18. LakanLunti

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    When they're starting to tell something bad about the LGBT community, I m like "How dare you! Avada Kedavra!"

    But seriously, since I am not out, I just show no emotion or interest. And when they are referring to me, I just FAKE a smile.
     
  19. Lipstick Leuger

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    I think as you age you get more tired of it and are willing to stand up for what you believe in. I used to avoid all of that, and keep my mouth shut about it but now that I am mid 40's no more.This is how I handle it now:

    1) I am out at work to EVERYONE. We are lucky to have a policy at my job that says you cannot discriminate against sexual orientation or gender presentation, and not everyone does. However, given this added protection, I never, ever hide who I am with or the sex of my partner from my co workers. I talk openly about what we do and who we see. It stops that type of crap in the bud. People often say things because they assume that they are protected by others who feel like they do, or that no one gay is around. By not hiding at work, my co workers who support me are there by my side and will interceed if people are nasty to me, and also they who have to say anything, will think a few times before they opent heir mouths becasue they don't have a positive audience.

    2) If I hear a slam, I correct it, immediately. I say "I am gay and I find that offensive. You are entitled to your opinion, but I don't have to hear your ignorance" and I walk away. The problem is solved, I have stood up for myself and the person 90% of the time is flabergasted and embarassed because again, they think that no gay people are there or will speak up.

    3) I immediately correct people who are given to say unsupportive or negative things about LGBT people. I ask them why they think that, do they know anyone gay?, and then I tell them I am gay. It shuts them up quick.

    You of course have to use common sense where you say things at, like you don't want to be a Redneck bar surrounded by KKK clansmen making a statement, or something unsafe like this, but most of the time you can say what you feel and walk away.
     
  20. maselalala

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    I get sad but stand up for myself... I stay sad tho..