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how do you deal with failure?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MadDog, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. MadDog

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    I was wondering why am i so weird when it comes to failure?
    I was a failure at school but i have never let anyone think I'm dumb. All my teachers knew i was smart and i just didn't want to try for them wich made them even more pissed at me. (so sometimes i just choose to be a failure and I'm okay with it)

    And sometimes when I'm not good at something, and even if i try a lot, i never let myself succeed. Like I don't know how to ride a bike because i just somehow convinced myself it's impossible. (So I don't choose to be a failure but subconsciously i do?!)

    When i come across a real impossible challenge i just wanna do it no matter what. Which takes a lot of unnecessary time and energy. ( So i may be succeeding in one great thing I'm actually failing in lots of other small things)

    And you may think I'm okay to be a failure because that's something i choose in lots of situation that I don't find it necessary or important to win. But it's not like that.. whenever i fail at something that's not my choice (like a driving test) my body can't (physically and mentally) handle it. I get sick for days, I can't eat anything i faint from time to time, I'll become a huge mess.
    I can't figure myself out.. it would help me a lot in life if i just could take control of my behaviors.
     
  2. Suomi

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    It depends on what it is.

    As far as something like a driving test,

    I actually failed my driving test five times.

    It sucks because where I live, you have to wait each time you pass to make another time to take the test again, and if you fail three times, you have to wait even longer.

    I remember each time I failed, I went home and cried all night each time.

    I remember I then studied and talked to my driving instructor and paid him for more lessons and watched some driving trainer videos on youtube.

    The sixth time, I actually passed. I was so happy, because I like to drive and I'm now a licensed driver.

    As far as college, I sadly dropped out, and quit.

    I wasn't getting along with my teachers, I thought I would like college/university, I did, but I hated it more than I liked it.

    I changed my major so many times, I still don't have a major, and I'm probably not going to go back to school at this time.

    How I dealt with it, was I wasn't happy, so I'm not going to stay somewhere I'm not happy.

    I quit, because I didn't understand my courses, my teachers hated me, it was hard for me to make friends, I don't know what career I want, other than I want to go into bartending and entertainment, and you don't need college for that.

    So yes I did fail, but I was able to accept it.
     
    #2 Suomi, Nov 26, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2017
  3. MadDog

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    At least you know what you want. My life is just a big ball of confusion
     
  4. Secrets5

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    If you don't fail, then you can never get better.
     
  5. Jackie Ray

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    Just roll on until you find something you are good at, Ive failed at many things but everyone has their niche.
     
  6. Baby K

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    I try to overcome a failure with something positive and a success. I played college basketball and of course we didn't win all the games, but we were always told there is always the next game to bounce back and succeed.
     
  7. Niagara

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    This probably isn't the most ideal way to handle it, but I tend to take failure personally and will over-analyze every detail as long as necessary to get it right the next time. It's kind of a pride thing I suppose. It does work though, for me anyways, I rarely fail at the same thing twice once I've analyzed it to death and developed ways to deal with whatever went wrong originally. The feeling of "winning" at the end makes up for the sadness caused by failing for the first time usually. I guess I just don't like letting "the world" win and am stubborn about it.
     
  8. RMember1

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    I don't deal with failure very well at all, when it happens I beat myself up. But I'm fueled by spite, and I can't give up so I try again (in most cases). I'm a perfectionist and it's a major downfall, because I was never taught how to properly deal with failure and disappointment.
     
  9. Loves books

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    I'm failing college. I told my uncle. He told me he failed first year three times and I got over it. Failure is a part of life and you can always consider your succeeding in not succeeding.
     
  10. butterfly1

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    I use to get upset when I failed at something. It took a long time to realize that failure sometimes happens.

    If I go rollerskating I don't always stay on my feet. I fall. Land on my butt or fall face first (ouch). Sometimes it would hurt when I fell. But I would get back on my feet, and try to skate some more. The more I skated, the less I would fall. Eventually I would get better.

    And yet, I still had moments of falling.

    Failure happens. Getting back on one's feet, or not, determines how much of an effect the failure has.

    And as a teenager, I failed my driving test three times, even after taking driver's ed. I went on to drive delivery trucks of different types as an adult.
     
  11. Mahidevran

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    I'm a perfectionist and I hate losing, so I guess it makes the answer.