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How do polyamorous couples form?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gleeko0, Jan 22, 2017.

  1. Gleeko0

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    I've found a few resources over the internet, some Vice articles and some posts here but I didn't find many accounts, specifically, about how people ended up in poly a relationship.

    I would like to hear more about you, or yours friends. How did they meet each other? did they start as a 2 person couple and then expanded? Do people in poly relationships are usually also in a open relationship or is it a closed 3 (or more) person relationship? Do people usually don't go past 3 members in the same relationship? Please share your stories!

    I'm very curious about the subject. How is jealousy managed?

    I have an extreme lack of jealousy myself, even with people I love, that's why I conceive that, perhaps I may have luck with a poly relationship if I ever have the chance to be in one.

    I've found a story of two +40 guys that meet a 28 year old guy and accepted him into the relationship. Are poly relationships more common in older people?

    Because I see it as a way to deal with the whole "I'm missing new experiences" thing in younger people, but I also see as something that demands the maturity of someone in its late 20s at least, or a very mature mindset anyway. Any poly stories about younger couples at the start of their 20s?
     
  2. bunnydee

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    I think on a relationship level, polys start out as just friends and develop. For it to last everyone has to be maturely confident in themselves to start, otherwise jealousy will eventually be an issue.

    I have never seen a poly last long-term, but I have only known two. Someone always ends up wanted more or wanted to find just the one for them. Take away the emotional baggage we all have, poly would make a lot of sense. Many fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy have made it work. So I don't see why it couldn't work.
     
  3. Gleeko0

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    I know there mustn't be a solid rule to this, but

    its usually 3 or more friends that decide to get into a relationship?

    Or couples that end up accepting +1 or +2 ?

    Makes sense that people have to know each other, as friend, before turning it into something more serious.

    I'm asking this because I want to know more about this odd (for me) world lol
     
    #3 Gleeko0, Jan 22, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2017
  4. bunnydee

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    The two I knew were both threesomes - One were all friends first and it made sense for them [ the guy was straight, and the girls were both bi] the guy was in love with both girls and that is how it started; the other was a married couple who the wife was bi and her friendship just evolved with another woman and it became a triad. Neither lasted. In the first case, one of the girls wanted to find her someone to be in a 'real' relationship with. The other the wife left her husband to be strictly with the woman.
     
  5. Embi

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    There's a YouTube channel called "Just Between Us" and one of the hosts (Gaby Dunn) is polyamorous. It's quite interesting and there are a lot of videos in which she talks about it.

    From what I understand you can date several people at the same time but they don't have to date each other as well. Many people seem to have a primary partner who they might also marry and/or have kids with and who is the most important to them. Both of them can have one or more relationships aside from their primary relationship.
    Or you already have a monogamous or open relationship and decide to turn it into a polyamorous relationship.
    I don't think it has to be a three people thing. I could imagine that that might make things complicated because of potential third-wheeling.

    I think if all partners are polyamorous, honest with each other and not extremely jealous, it can work very well. I'm not polyamorous myself, so this is all solely based on what I've heard.
     
  6. SiKiHe

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    I've only personally known of one poly relationship, that unfortunately for them didn't work out. It started with two guys in a relationship for a few years, then they added a third guy. I'm not sure if it was a friendship that grew or if the two original partners wanted to seek out a third. Eventually the three became two again, this time the new guy with one of the originals. From what I know they originally planned to all three separate but two of them got back together and the third moved away and on with his life.
     
  7. Gleeko0

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    There is a video where they talk about poly relationships, its very good, I loved it, thanks for the suggestion!

    In that video, particularly, they talk about "opening" a monogamous relationship to more people, in a poly or non-poly way

    heres it
    [YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv4VwOa3Kk0&t=1s[/YOUTUBE]

    its not my case, I'm not in a relationship, but its helpful to understand how that all works ahah