I've just recently realized I'm gay. It's been really rocky adjusting to the identity change and I grew up in a very homophobic household. I didn't even know you could be gay until half way through high school. I'm in college now, but my school is rather conservative about such things. Basically, coming out at home is a bad amodea since I was told straight up I would be disowned for "being a homosexual" and I have few gay freinds now. Simply due to the environment. Only one who's also a girl who I can talk to. I feel being gay is bad. I don't know what that means because logically, I know it isn't bad. Not at all. I know it's okay, yet I can't bring myself to not feel shame for it. I'm not particularly religious but I've been caring about it when I realized. And I'm not particularly homophobic but I think I've gotten some internalized homophobia. How do I get over this? I know I won't be happy and out of this damaging mental breakdown until I accept it as okay. How do I accept myself?
Try this, maybe it will help: https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Internalized-Homophobia I will just add, try to remind yourself of some positive stuff about being LGBT, like this: Some people say that being gay is unnatural, but I believe it is natural. Guess what's one of the biggest problems of humanity? Overpopulation. So homosexuality is basically a technique of mother nature that works against the overpopulation. So homosexuality is actually very useful for humanity. The only thing why it doesn't work that much is because of homophobic people, so as a result many gays and lesbians pretend to be straight and make kids like straight people. And when gay couple decides to have kids, they may take care of kids not wanted (or not being taken care of) by their biological parents. If you think about how many children are growing up in orphanages or children's homes, homosexuality actually increases the number of requests for adoption, giving true home to more lonely children. Imagine this: There's a couple, and that couple wants a kid. Then there's a kid growing up in the orphanage. - If that couple is straight, they will most likely make their own child, maybe even more, and contribute to the overpopulation. And the kid from the orphanage will spend childhood without knowing how is it to be loved by parents, and possibly developing mental problems because of that. - If that couple is same sex, they won't be able to make their own child, so they will adopt that kid from the orphanage. That kid will be happy and with loving parents, and the couple will get their child, helping fight the overpopulation by not making another one (very very slightly, but that also counts, right?) and with a chance of raising the kid more tolerant and accepting.
This sounds really silly and simplistic, but it helped me a lot. Watch some of the LGBT films on Netflix, watch shows like Modern Family. Check out photoblogs of gay couples on Tumblr, Instagram, vlogs on YouTube etc. The key here is for you to become more exposed to LGBT people. You'll see people in same-sex relationships and you'll see just how beautiful it is. For me, that changed things a lot.
Hello there, Internalised Homophobia seems to often be caused because of outlooks of loved ones,- It's kind of sad, but if people around you believe something is bad very strongly and are vocal about that, and you have that attribute, things do slip your mind. I wasn't in a homophobic upbringing but "gay" was used in school as a way to bully others constantly, I had the same thing but quite mildly as a result. What made it stop for me was realise that their opinion on anything doesn't matter, so long you can objectively look if you stand in the right position. - Then again, I function on logic and theory, That method might not work for everyone.
I agree videos like this: https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/beautiful-gay-video.465678/ made me realize this is how I felt about men Hi and welcome. I am not an expert at this, I am just coming out to myself now and where I live it's a lot easier. Externally I would advise caution- it sounds like you live in a society where being 'out' has serious negative consequences. So of course you have to be careful. most all of us feel shame. for me what helped is to start to realize that it wasn't just about sex, but love, right now if I could be with a guy I loved but not have sex or have sex with a woman I would choose to be with that guy. Being gay or accepting that you're gay just means you recognize that that romantic intimacy is going to happen with someone who's the same sex as you.
