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How do I make myself more attractive?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Majorelle, Oct 11, 2019.

  1. Majorelle

    Regular Member

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    Hey, so I've dropped out of a relationship that went toxic about half a year ago with a guy that I wonder if I actually had feelings for...

    But this is real.

    I really like this girl. Really Really. I've been attracted to her ever since I met her a year ago, but I thought she was straight so I completely shut her out of my heart.

    But she wasn't.

    On one hand, our sexuality now isn't an issue, but on the other, now I'm freaking out about how to approach her and have her think I'm actually worth flirting with.

    Basically, how do I make myself more attractive??

    Some basic information about her:
    -She's older than me, about two years, and a grade above me
    -She's really smart and super put together
    -She's really funny
    -She still manages to be suave all the time and pull off a f-boy look without making it seem like one
    -She's really attractive...not lying, truly. Objectively, she's gorgeous and practically oozes sex appeal in a tomboyish way. She's kissed multiple girls before and someone I know had a crush on her

    Some basic information about me:
    -Only advantage I have over her is height, by like, an inch or two, so it doesn't count
    -Completely average features and body, as in completely plain, as in, completely unmemorable
    -My style is comfy, not trendy at all, and none of my clothes are tailored to flatter me
    -Completely lost on how to get her to like me
    -I guess my personality is swee-- nope, plain.
    -Plain. Plain. Plain. Unattractive, unmemorable, un-perfect

    Some basic information about us:
    -We attend the same meets and met through a CPR workshop (yeah yeah romantic ik yeah shhh)
    -We're basic friends, not BFFs or anywhere near that, as in, group-chat level friends, not DM

    Thank you for any and all tips~ Please write comments based on your personal opinion because I've already scoured every single website on same-sex crushes: "be nice and smile, and they'll like you" yeah no. ReAl aDviCE please... I'm really desperate because this could be our last years together because she could be going away soon
     
    Cind Ace likes this.
  2. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

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    Sometimes it's worth stepping out of your comfort zone and trying a new look or style that you wouldn't normally consider for yourself or even find attractive on other people.

    For example, when skinny jeans first became a thing, I thought they looked ridiculous on a lot of men. I was so used to wearing bootcut with big shoes. Then one day I decided to try on some skinny fit jeans in a charity shop, and when I saw myself in the mirror I was like "hello legs!" I suddenly felt really attractive from the waste down, and I never really felt that before. I always thought my best features were from the neck up. Ever since then I've had guys telling me how nice my thighs and calves are.

    Same with very high shorts in the summer. A lot of gay men wear ridiculously high shorts that don't make them look attractive to me. I don't mean to brag, but I do have the legs for high shorts. I've had some very satisfied dates when I've shown up with my legs on display.

    Blazers are another thing. For a long time when I was younger I avoided wearing blazers because it reminded me of school uniform, and being a scrawny little boy getting buried under shoulder pads and baggy looking sleeves, and being completely invisible, unless the other boys decided to start picking on me. Now when I wear a blazer I feel elegant and suave and sophisticated. I love the way the hem drapes around below my body, and I kind of flourish it as I get in and out of chairs. And I love a waistcoat. It emphasizes my torso and causes me to straighten my back so I'm sitting up confidently instead of slouching into the scenery.

    Then there's my hairstyle. I was getting bored of going to the same barber shop for years and having the same haircut. So I decided to try somewhere different, and chose a style I never had before. The kind of hair that I thought made other guys look thuggish. I didn't look like a thug. I looked like a hunky movie star. The hair on the back and sides was shaved so close that it revealed shapes on my head that I didn't know existed and my eyes were suddenly so much more visible. I showed up at work the next day and everybody was stunned by my new look. They said I should have it like that all the time (it's an expensive haircut so I only have it done once a month)

    But my point is sometimes you just have to be bold and try something with your look that you wouldn't normally do. Don't do it to attract the attention of one particular person, do it for yourself.
     
    Majorelle likes this.
  3. Majorelle

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    So update guys on all the times you have missed:

    Downside: I am still currently pining after this girl, but now she's going out with a girl she mutually likes, so I can't suddenly confess out of the blue because that would be a horrible thing to do.

    Upside: We're now really close - DM, tea spilling, clothes swapping, hang out after-school together level... and also, I've been trying on brighter colors and flashy clothing, and I feel a lot more confident in my body. I've also been shedding pounds (although I'm still nowhere skinny nor do I want to be underweight) so my clothes fit a lot better. Although I still have a certain degree of body dysmorphia, it's getting better and I'm coming to somewhat embrace myself, although I realize I'll never be 100% satisfied with myself.

    Overall, despite being indirectly rejected, through trying to better myself to make myself seem more attractive, I feel more self-satisfied and comfortable with myself as a person, and I see that becoming more attractive isn't just for other people, but for myself too.

    I even received a confession!
     
  4. Cind Ace

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    Hey Majorelle,

    That's true making yourself better or feel better attracts whoever is around you. All comes easy and comfy when you have self- confidence.
    First time i date with my girl, i was nervous but I know i have to be confident. You gotta know what she likes too and put effort on her interests more than yourself. I could suggest maybe you could ask her like at least go for adventure anything just together whatever her hobbies you know about. You both seem like a comfy ragged-style kinda girls so i think it would not be hard for her and she wont be picky or fussy about anything you do. What are her interests like or hobbies?
    When i was with her i always wear comfy depends what occasion we go out to but i pull out some pastel soft color clothes that could make my eyes popped or as simple make up rather than overdress and uncomfortable. Ask her what her go-to place or to go food she loves or this hang out places like that just casually without making it too obvious youre into her and not making her yourself too clingy.
    When you know things much about her and when you remember it , it'll make her feel so special even more when you do care about her.