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How do I know if I'm falling out of love?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Noodle72, May 15, 2019.

  1. Noodle72

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    127
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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So a bit of backstory; I've been dating this guy for a year and a few months now. We met online and we're long distance and haven't been able to meet in person yet due to his parents being very strict (also transphobic, and he's trans like me so that kinda sucks for him but I've been doing my best to support him) and no other family of his being willing to take him. I know dating online especially at a young age is risky but I've been careful and we've video called multiple times, and that's not what this thread is at all about so please don't lecture me. Oh, also, he's my first boyfriend so I don't have any past experiences with dating or ending a relationship.

    Another thing partially related, I have a QPP (queerplatonic partner). This is like a platonic relationship at a higher level than a friendship but a lower level than romantic feelings. I can distinguish it clearly from how I feel towards my best friend and I used to be able to distinguish it that clearly with my boyfriend. It's not cheating, my boyfriend knows about him and is actually QPPs with him as well.

    Lately I've been wondering if I'm falling out of love with my boyfriend. My feelings towards him are growing closer and closer to what I feel for my QPP, and I don't know whether I want to continue a romantic relationship or suggest switching to a platonic one. I feel that he's still fully romantically in love with me and I don't want to hurt him at all by telling him this, especially when I'm so unsure about it. I used to feel strong attraction when looking at photos of him that he sent me but now I just kind of acknowledge him as a cute guy but I don't know if there's anything more to that anymore. I've been searching online and some people say this is the end of the "honeymoon phase" and it could be just settling into a long-term relationship sort of thing, but if I'm barely even attracted to him and not sure if the romantic connection is there anymore I don't know if that's the case.

    So, any advice? Any ways to really know if I'm falling out of love or if it's turning into just platonic love? I want to continue a relationship with him, whether still romantic or just platonic, but I don't want to hurt him or myself in the process. I'm thinking I might wait a while to see how I feel in a month or so and try to schedule a few video calls within the next couple weeks. Sometimes it's easier to tell when I can talk to him as face to face as we can get.