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How do I get in touch with my feminine side

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ARCangel, Aug 12, 2017.

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  1. ARCangel

    ARCangel
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Markham
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Family only
    If you've read my earlier posts I mentioned my gender disphoira and how I don't feel male or female. I mean I feel I'm supposed to be female but it ends there I don't even have preferred pronouns, much less in the areas of interests and behaviour. I like aviation and military vehicles. My mom told me that's a perfect male interest. How do I tell her that I don't want to transition because of what I like? Also something feels off. It's not like I'm sincerely interested in anything anymore. My self discovery stage was cut short be moving to Canada and the language barrier... I picked up a few hobbies using superficial things never exploring my feelings. The reason for liking airplanes so much is because I had too much people doing stuff and making decisions for me when I was 3-4years old. I wanted freedom,to be in control and space so I wanted to fly planes. Now that I've stopped to think a new thought popped up: i always seemed immature to everyone because my interests and hobbies remained at my little kids stage and failed to develop and mature. Right now I look at feminine fashion and cosplay a lot and i kind of like it. I've always wanted to look like and be an anime girl ever since I found out what anime is. However if my dad found out that i look at this stuff he'd think I have something wrong with me even if not he'd say no to it because I have two brothers and they might get negatively influenced bla bla bla... to conclude all my ranting is how do I explore these feminine things with out my parents getting mad at me? Any way to do this without clothes, makeup etc?
     
    #1 ARCangel, Aug 12, 2017
  2. matty79

    matty79
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    United States
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    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
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    Not out at all
    I wouldn't read into your love of airplanes. I've always loved airplanes, and it had nothing to do with my gender its just that flying machines are awesome. My interests and hobbies have remained at a little kids stage and I'm 38 LOL. I still haven't grown up yet.

    When I was around your age I had similar feelings and in our guest room I discovered my Mom had a chest of drawers full of surplus girly items and I began to experiment with them. I also began to play with her makeup a bit. I only did it when I was home alone.

    You can start secretly buying things and keeping them hid and try wearing them when you are able, but you're likely to get caught. Makeup is small and pretty easy to hide and can be purchased cheaply. I'd like to tell you that honesty is the best policy and you should tell you parents what you want to do, but I never did.

    Perhaps you can find a friend who is a girl who would like someone to practice makeup and dressing up on. One of my first girlfriends, after only maybe a month or two of dating asked if she could makeup my face and hair for fun. She had no idea that I was secretly interested in such things.
     
    #2 matty79, Aug 12, 2017
    Shorthaul likes this.
  3. RioQ

    RioQ
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Straya
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    Genderqueer
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    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
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    A few people
    Hi,
    You could try books on e-Book readers like Kindle or tablets. Great thing about these is that you could be reading multiple titles at the same time without giving away what you are REALLY reading. You could be reading romance novels or Jane's Aircraft Recognition Guide no one would know (you could also lock it with passcode, just in case).
    Books also widens your knowledge and goes great with every other hobbies. I often read on my Kindle with contents that varies from cosmetics to WRC. :blush:
     
    #3 RioQ, Aug 13, 2017
  4. Cailan

    Cailan
    Full Member

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    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
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    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    For me it took HRT to finally "get in touch" with my masculine side. It has always been there, and it came out somewhat randomly, short term during very specific masculine situations, such as interacting with employees at a tool store or at the gym. However, these short term moments were just a tease. I decided to try testosterone for a short run (2 weeks to 2 months) to see if it did something for me, and make a decision whether to stay on it depending on whether the effects were *right for me.*

    I was on a low starter dose for two weeks, but two days after switching to a full transition dose, my male side took over almost completely. My girl side didn't disappear, but did fade into the background. I'll generally spend a week or two in guy mode, then hit girl mode for a few days, then back to guy mode. I have no control over when. I really get it now, and I absolutely love being a guy, far more than I ever expected. Yet I also still love being a girl when in girl mode. Yesterday was my 2-month T-versary, and I've decided it's right for me. I plan to stay on it until and unless there is something that causes serious dysphoria for my girl side, and so far I'm okay with everything when I'm in girl mode.
     
    #4 Cailan, Aug 14, 2017
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