How do I convince my mom to let me and my bf spend our anniversary together?

Responding as a parent — I’d say I wanted more lead time to figure this out. I’d be stressed to think through the planning with just days to go.

Responding as an EC member, I’m worried what it will be like for you and your boyfriend trapped in the car with your mom 5.5 hours each way. Didn’t she invade your privacy recently? Not a scenario that sounds like a celebration of an anniversary. Better to postpone your time together and not have to worry about so much time with Mom?

 

This could just be the traditional me talking, but won't it be two occasions being smushed together? Easter and your anniversary? And between all your relatives, your family and in a different place, would you be even having the space to spend time with your boyfriend? That's my main concern. Again, that's just me talking. If you feel you can manage both occasions and spending time with so many people, that's your call.

 

My parents would have said no, regardless of how they felt about the partner, because they'd consider it rude to impose an additional unknown guest on the family they were visiting at short notice.

 

I wouldn’t tell you not to ask. Being able to stand up for yourself and your relationship is good. I hope she would respect that part of it, though it sounds from your previous posts she may not.

It might help you if you also think from a parent perspective. Will you be able to get the types of forms signed from his parents that they’d need to do for a field trip: permission, insurance and medical info, authorization for your mom to get him needed medical care if something bad happens, etc.? Will he have his own spending money if you stop along the way for lunch?

I may be too late responding if you are asking today, but maybe if you think through how to make it work from the responsible adult’s perspective it would help her see how you are looking at the big picture and practicalities.

@Broccoli has a point. Some parents have other reasons for turning down such a proposal. In my case we allowed our children to invite a friend along for the family trip/visit, even a person they were dating, so long as all parents and extended family were o.k. But I know plenty of other parents who are fine with their kids’ dating relationships, but don’t want the date at the extended family event (sometimes as much to care for their feelings of being the newcomer or outsider, or the strain on elder grandparents who are hosting, etc.).

Let us know how it goes.

 

I say if it is something you really want, go for it and ask your mother. The worst she can say is no. And even if she does you can always voice your side of it. Plus you said you've done it before so I don't see the problem. Your boyfriend is in a relationship with you so in turn they can be involved in family activities depending on the situation of course. I hope it turns out all right regardless.

 

Good luck Kevin. Please do let us know if it works out and how it went. . You are much better than me though. I tried to avoid family functions like the plague much less try and bring someone to the inevitable chaos and boring social affairs with me . LOL

 

Glad to hear things worked out on your trip.

 

So how are things going Kevin. Things any easier with your mom these days?