I came out as bisexual and nonbinary to my twin sister and she's fine with it. But how do I come out to my mom.
First, do not come out if you think that it might cause you danger. For example if you live with your mother and she might throw you out. If there is no real chance of danger other from her most likely being accepting or you being independent then go ahead and come out but only if you really feel that you are ready. No one is obligated to come out to anyone. The best way might be to tell her that you have something that you really need to talk about. Make sure the atmosphere is relaxed with the two of you alone. Prepare yourself for questions about it. Many people know about being gay or bisexual and that sort of thing but are not well informed about trans issues and especially not things like being nonbinary. Gather a few resources about what it means to be nonbinary and especially about what it means to you. You could write down possible questions and what the answers are for you. You do not have to hand her a letter (though that is an option). You could just read her the answers or if you have done the work this way it at least will organize your thoughts over what the answers to her questions will be so that you can clearly explain to her.
Claire506.....Hello and a very big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! The most important factors in deciding when to come out are: *****Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you...not them. *****Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important. *****Being out in middle school/high school is easier now than it used to be...but depending on your school and your relationship with other students, it can be problematic. Try to evaluate these things and see what you seriously think about the results of coming out would be. Sometimes waiting...even when it is so difficult...is the only safe way to come out. *****Please don't get into a rush about coming out...you have plenty of time! You might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to tell your parents/friends. There are some great sample coming out letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! An additional plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can easily go bad. It gives the people reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had years to think about your sexuality...giving them at least some time to think about it only seems fair as well as getting you out of a potentially difficult, emotion-based conversation! Check the letters out (see below)...they could be a real help! *****Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or a year from now, your parents and friends will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're bisexual and NB?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal dependent upon your family and friends...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or so questions with the answers already planned, you will be perceived as a more mature, serious person. *****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php *****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you! .....David
