Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Johndoe, May 25, 2012.
If you are gay and super protective about not letting anyone know. How do you act? What do you Do?
I am out now, but I would fake it even when I was a kid, and I KNEW I was faking it. I would pretend to have the hugest crush on the daughter of my mom's best friend, and kept it up for years until I finally came out and confessed I never really had a crush on Her xD I know a guy who ended up being gay though and he posed as a very conservative homophobe, so Everyone uses different techniques.
I don't really hide anything these days, I don't care if people think I'm gay - I just can't directly tell someone.
I used to hide it a lot throughout school (or try to), but I've kind of just found a middle-ground in which nobody really can tell my sexuality and that's me being completely myself. I don't pretend to talk about girls, I don't look at girls and if someone directly asked me if I was straight, I wouldn't say yes. Nobody asks, so I don't tell them.
even i m hopelessly in love with my best friend cnt do anything abt it. jus avoiding him. ya u cn act straight. try to look u give a damn abt sports with ur frens. suggest sm hot girl in ur college dat how hot she is. and be a litle careful wen u r checkin out sm cute guy on the way so it dsnt look obvious
---------- Post added 25th May 2012 at 06:50 AM ----------
or better option is if u have a courage to. come out and jus be yourself but i know its not easy for evrybdy. i m myself still in the closet.
Pretend that you're into girls.
Anything else is just a stereotype. You can be flamboyant and feminine and straight, you know.
I don't do anything really, people just assume I am straight because of my appearance and personality. I never actually show an interest in anyone, I just keep that to myself, but still people just assume.
I'm just a very guarded person in general, I don't let people know my emotions. I'm very good at putting on a fake front. I guess being in the closet has made me a liar.
When I did hide my "gayness", I always talked about girls I "wanted to bang", looked at girls when I was with friends (and by look I mean head to toe stare), I walked like a board was strapped to my back (although I don't have much of a swaying "gay" walk, I do walk with a bit of emphasis).
I denied being gay. That's the biggest one, I think.
Now I'm not hiding it and not flaunting it. I'm being me and nobody's asked me if I'm gay yet, so...
i wish we lived in a world where der was no need to hide
I consider myself to be a straight acting gay (though lately, my overly dramatic side is coming out a little bit), so I just went with the plan of not trying to bring attention to myself in any way. Also if people asked if I was gay, then I just told them I wasn't.
Nowadays, I just don't bother and admit I'm gay if asked.
I have never been able to say that I wanted to "bang" anyone, guy or girl. Which is probably what has made people question me, at least initially. But I am a very conservative, traditional type of person. Even if I was totally open about being gay, I just don't look at people as being something to "bang."
I think the biggest things I did was I was unintentionally very guarded and withdrawn. I thought before I did or said anything. At the time I didn't know I was gay though. But I suppose it was me subconsciously doing all that. I did find girls attractive. I even had crushes but I never thought about sex so I didn't realize that I actually didn't want sex with girls. I believed the fact that I had crushes on girls and never thought to look at guys that I was straight. The biggest thing that kept people from questioning (I was never asked til a year ago) was probably the fact that I was so shy and reserved. Not much personality to observe.
I have become more open the past couple years and now more than in the past people think I am gay. I am done hiding my likes and dislikes and I'm done hiding it.
Well it wasn't particularly hard for me, because people thought I was weird anyways. If someone would ask about me having a girlfriend, I would say something to the effect of "too much drama." People probably just felt bad for me because they thought I couldn't get a girlfriend or something. I didn't really try to hide it from people who wouldn't care, because I had to be myself around SOMEONE, but I still didn't come out during high school (until the day before the last day to one of my friends, but that is a complicated story that no one wants to hear. :V ).
Basically, I just became very good at avoiding conversations where sexuality would come up. If you do get involved in one, then you just have to come up with some bull crap. It's just something you kind of have to learn. :V
i pretend to act like i'm interested in girls even though i'm not as in someone will talk to me about this girl they saw walking by and i'll act like i'm interested looking at the girl like "yeah, look at her" when i really don't care. it's very annoying because i feel like i'm going back to something i no longer care to be doing.
with that said, i would say that i'm gearing my wheels to slowly come out the closet and i've been preparing myself day by day in doing so in small ways. i no longer feel like hiding it or pretending like i'm straight.
If you are gay, people who are gay will almost certainly be able to pick it up no matter what you do. Many straight people who are tuned in can figure it out as well.
And if you vehemently insist you're heterosexual, dating girls, talking about your exploits in the bedroom, or how hot your girlfriend is or whatever... that, combined with what gay people already sense, will just make the gay folks with good gaydar that much more certain you're gay and closeted.
I've said this before but my friends and I sort of jokingly play "find the hidden fairy" when we're somewhere likely to have a bunch of closeted gay guys, such as a theater or dance event. Of course, we don't approach or tell them we're doing this, but it's amazing how often it turns out to be accurate.
I have a whole list of indicators that a guy is probably closeted and some day I'm going to make a (somewhat joking but probably remarkably accurate) application called "Is Your Boyfriend Gay" that makes use of these indicators.
Bottom line... it's almost like the more you try to hide it, the more you'll make it obvious. Just be yourself, don't consciously try to act differently than you are, otherwise you'll likely make yourself even more obvious. And work on loving yourself enough that you can get to the point where you're ready to start coming out
"Pretend" to check girls out, be more "rough" when your speaking.
It'd be really interesting to read this list of indicators.
I was just quieter and avoided having any close friendships with people. I figured if people didn't get to know me, then no one would be able to conclude anything about me. At the time I wasn't entirely sure about myself either, so I avoided people to avoid facing the truth.
Now I'm out, and way happier. Although I had to adjust to having friends, which was hard. But worth it. Thanks counseling center!
I was really awkward around girls so people assumed I was just awkward around girls, which I was. Other than that I was withdrawn, didn't talk much about controversial subjects ect.
This is hard to explain. I don't really do anything per se.
I don't want to offend anyone, but I just do not ''sound'' gay and I am never flamboyant. Also, I am a very private person and I don't discuss who I am attracted to often (celebrities, or just people in general). And I obviously don't go around telling people what kind of guys I am attracted to.
Ha ha -- I had a good laugh at that.
I can never tell if guys are gay/bisexual unless it's painfully obvious. Then again, I just assume that almost every guy I see is straight.