How do gay guys act?

I used the term beeboppin with a smiling sun with glasses for an english powerpoint. A lot of people use it now

 

I really hate it when people tell me "You don't act gay".
The only common thing among gay guys is that they like men, else there is no other identifying trait that can be applied to all of us.
Sadly, it's just the flamboyant men that are publicized in the media and modern culture, making the rest of us an outcast in both the hetero and homo worlds.:icon_sad:

 

Eh, I think it's kinda the other way around. Masculine guys can fit into both the hetero and homo worlds, whereas the flamboyant guys are outcast in both the hetero and homo worlds.

 

Yeah. The idea of being feminine has been demonised because of sexism, so that both straight and non-straight men dislike it.

 

Hmm.. Maybe it's a "grass is greener on the other side" thing. Most gay men accuse me of being too "uptight" just cause my tastes and habits don't fit the stereotype. Kind of why I stopped hanging out on the gay scene. Yeah, maybe I find it easier to get along with straight men, but it always come to the point where they are talking about girls and I am sitting quietly in a corner.

 

Jesus couldn't even please everyone or make himself 'believed' so I wouldn't even bother. Be who you are and own it!!!!

 

That is one of the things I hated about Will & Grace. They idealized Jack McFarlane as a gay man. It was like you had to take lessons to be gay enough. Will was just hopelessly straight-acting in Jack's eyes.

 

When I was coming out back in college, a co-worker who hailed from Indiana ( and who often made homophobic statements) first responded by accusing me of lying just to mess with his head, because I liked to mess with people's heads. I told him that was true but in this case I was telling the truth and the messing with his head bit was just a bonus.

His next statement (actually an agonized exclamation) was: "But you CAN'T be gay! You don't fit my stereotype!!"

He spent about two weeks twisting in the wind (which i hugely enjoyed) and then mostly got over it. We actually end up getting along better because of it.

Todd

 

beebop is a style of music that has nothing to do with homosexuality, and stereotypical homosexual wouldn't be caught dead listening to beebop.

It is a prelude to modern day hip-hop.


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There is a way that clearly visible gay guys act, and if you don't fit that, than don't worry.

I think straight mencould be as flamboyant as gays if they were comfortable with themselves and we didn't live in a misogynistic society.

 

My mum said "But I don't act gay" when I told her... Its just a stereotype... most people think if you are gay you have to be camp/act feminine.

 

Like this

Little Britain. The only gay in the village. - YouTube

I love Davyd.




Only joking. Act like you want. Who cares what others think. You don't do yourself any favours by being the person you're not.

 

I'm kind of effeminate but still get this. I'm not sure if they think it's a compliment or they have a preconceived notion that all gay guys are full on flamers. Either way it's just :eusa_doh:

---------- Post added 1st Sep 2013 at 09:19 AM ----------

Maybe the guys who are doing that are actually being themselves? You really don't come across as better than homophobes. If someone wants to dye his hair hot pink, he should go for it. It's his hair, his life, and none of your business.

 

I understand where people are coming from here, it's the whole sterotype that gay guys have to be effeminate because that's the way all gay guys are that causes that reaction. Now while I'm extremely effeminate myself I do know gay guys are extremely masculine, more so than straight men even who get the 'but you don't act gay' reaction all the time. I think what some people fail to understand is that the behaviour of a person varies from person to person regardless of sexuality and therefore there's actually no set way for a gay person to act.

 

People tell me the same thing! They tell me that they could never guess I was gay because I don't fit any of the stereotypes. To them, I'm just a "straight guy nerd"

Stereotypes are stereotypes. Everyone has them. We're all just people. Doesn't really matter.

 

Well I think 'flamboyant' gays definitely take the brunt of homophobic hatred from straight people, they are the ones who are visible and stand out as gay just by walking down the street, with a swish in their step.

And among gay men, there is still an idealization of "masculine" "straight-acting" guys as being hot, while femme guys are considered not. Go on any of the gay hookup/dating apps and you'll see lots of guys saying "no femmes" or "masc4masc".

While "straight-acting" "masculine" guys might not fit in among flamboyant "femme" gays, I think there still is a large place for them within the gay community- and they are also accepted much more easily by the straight community. Too often it seems though masc gays are willing to throw femme gays under the bus in an effort to make themselves look more normal and 'straighter' in contrast.

 

I know plenty of feminine, flamboyant gay men (on EC, even) who also play into this dynamic, either by expressing how little they care for other men like them, preferring "straight acting" or even flat-out straight men, or by endlessly referring to themselves as "masculine" to distance themselves from others like them. They have their justifications, calling it preference, but it's the fact they absolutely must mention it, and in less-than-friendly tones.

So I'd say the discrimination comes from all sides. And if you think it's tough for flaming gay men to find acceptance, try to get your average man, gay, straight, or bisexual, to understand cross dressing! I searched EC for threads on the topic, and found some disgusting, derogatory remarks about what constitutes a "real man".