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How did your family take it when you came out to them?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RobSmith, May 4, 2018.

  1. RobSmith

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    I came out to my parents when I was 16. I found out I was gay, much earlier than that, but couldn’t come out to my parents as I was sacred. I was really scared when I first found out. I was not scared by the fact that I was gay, but by the thought that how others were going to judge me. But eventually, I mustered up my courage and came out to my parents. Honestly saying, they waiting for me to come out to them. They knew it when I was 8. I cried, my parents came to me and hugged me saying, they were proud of me. They have always been very open about me being Gay. They have always been my support system. They were very welcoming when I introduced my Fiance to them, who I met through a dating website. We actually hit it off on the first date itself.

    When did you all come out? Were your parents also supportive of you being Gay?
     
  2. Secrets5

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    My mum wanted to know if a. I liked my friend RK (which is a yes) and b. Do I like ginger women as much as ginger men (kind of, but really envious of it)
     
  3. anonmember

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    They both took it well for a while, then after a while my stepdad told me that I didn't really know whether I was bisexual or not, even though I really do know that I am and always will be. Some straight people just don't get it, I'm telling you. I feel like my mom might feel the same way based on some of the things she said back when I was in the questioning phase and I told her that, but is just not telling me because she doesn't want me to fight with her.
     
  4. Biguyjosh

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    I told them I was bi at 17. They took it fairly well. Dad took it better than mom, but only b/c mom was scared of what could happen to me. Took them a few months to fully adjust though
     
  5. kibou97

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    They were mostly supportive. My Mom actually didn't believe me at first because I used to make jokes about being gay before I came out but once she knew I was serious, she was really supportive. The only person who didn't take it well was my cousin who had recently became a mormon but now-a-days, he just pretends nothing even happened.
     
  6. SemiCharmedLife

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    They were really surprised and didn't know how to react, but ultimately supportive.
     
  7. 18breanna

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    Same here. I had to come out to my Mom a couple times because she just straight up didn't believe me and just said I needed to 'date a boy first to know' LOL but after a while of hinting it to her then finally telling her dead on she processed the reality of it.

    I could tell she already had this picture in her mind of who her kids would grow up to marry (probably that my brother, who dates mostly white women, would marry a black woman and that I would marry a black or mixed man) and was sad to hear that her son would probably marry a white woman and that her daughter would probably marry another woman. She just had to adjust to the fact that her kids wouldn't be the way the planned them out to be, and I think she's still in that adjustment period.

    She acted kind of shocked and squeamish/grossed out/"icked out" by it, but is gradually less grossed out when I mention it to her. Hopefully she'll become fully comfortable with it, eventually
     
  8. WiseAthena

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    I told my parents less than a week after admitting to myself that I wasn't straight. My Mum found some texts on my phone to my friend who knew and asked me what the problem was. I overreacted and my Mum thought that something big was going on so when I finally told her she just laughed at me because she told me that I was stupid for thinking she would care. She told my Dad and he came to me and hugged me while he told me that he loves me no matter what. I was really lucky to have a very supportive family ☺
     
  9. quebec

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    RobSmith.....It's been a while since you posted this thread...but Hey Welcome to empty closets anyway! I am not out to my entire family right now. And for me it's different as I am the father. I am out to my wonderful wife who has accepted me and we are staying together (long story). I am also out to my oldest son and his wife. I went through a very serious health issue/surgery in Nov. 2016 that could easily have cost my life. Before the surgery I went over Insurance issues, what's in the safe deposit box, etc. with my son if he needed to help take care of his mother if the surgery didn't go well. I also came out to him and his wife as I wanted them to hear it from me rather than his mother. They were both very accepting and assured me of their love. I'm pretty sure a major part of that was that I had never cheated on my wife/his mother. My son is the pastor of a conservative church so his reaction made me even more proud of him than I already was. I may eventually come out to my other two sons...it all depends on whether I think there is a reason that they need to know that I am gay. I feel pretty good about who I am out to and feel no need to post it on Facebook or shout it from the roof tops. There are a number of special friends whom I have told and four very special, gay friends who helped me so very much when I was first accepting and learning about my new LGBTQ family. I hid my sexuality from the world and even myself for 42 years....I am so much happier now than I have been for a very long time!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  10. HM03

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    I was petrified to come out to my dad. We still haven't really talked much about it, but he has a "do whatever makes you happy" attitude. I'm still not sure how he really feels about it. But he seems to just want me to happy. I feel kind of dumb waiting so long lol
     
  11. Andrew99

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    They took it well.
     
  12. Totesgaybrah

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    Pretty well actually, much better than I had anticipated. Definitely wish I had done it sooner.
     
  13. Ruby Dragon

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    At first, my parents were deeply in denial. They didn't believe me at first. I had a girlfriend at the time of coming out to them, and was sure I was gay. I had to come out a second time, as bisexual, and they seemed to be more open to that idea, because I could still end up marrying a man (I'm more straight-leaning, so it's odd that I thought I was gay). Anyway, the three of us sat down one afternoon last year and they told me, "We don't care who you end up with, as long as you're happy. So whether you end up with a woman or a man, as long as you're happy, so are we. We love you regardless"

    This drove me to tears because I've never felt more confident in myself and relieved. They proceeded to hug me and the conversation was over. I felt so loved and think that at that point, they've come to terms with it. I remember explaining to them in a letter (Because I'm too chicken to talk face-to-face) that if I date a woman, it doesn't make me gay, I'm still bisexual. And if I date a man, it doesn't make me straight because I'd still be bisexual. I think me putting it that way, caused an "aha" moment, and the abovementioned conversation followed shortly after they read the letter.

    My sister, on the other hand, refuses to accept it. She even freaked out about it when I attended my first Pride in 2016. They were fine with me going, but somehow came across pictures of the event and when I got home, they freaked out and my sister said, "If you choose that lifestyle, I'm not your sister anymore". That hurt like a bitch and still makes me sad when I think about it. If my homophobic, strict Christian parents could accept me, why can't she? Maybe I should write her a letter too, but on the other hand, why bother? It'll just upset her and cause tension between us, and I don't want to lose my only sibling over something like my sexuality.
     
  14. Rowe

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    I only came out to them as asexual.

    My mom was the first person I came out to. She pretty much made me come out to her because she knew I was avoiding it. I finally gave up and told her. She just was really curious and kept asking questions, and really happy I finally came out.

    My sister was next. She just responded with "I knew already" and walked away. It wasn't until 2 years later that I found out she just figured it out.

    Finally, it was my dad. I came out during a commercial while he was watching a science show. He asked why I waited until a commercial, then hugged me.
     
  15. Kodo

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    I came out as trans to my parents when I was seventeen, and they did not take it well. After I came out publicly last September my family disowned me.

    However, I am in a place where there are people who support and care about me now. At the university I attend there has been nothing but support, and now with the church I go to they (the pastor and my friends there) are also very supportive of my identity.

    It just goes to show that it isn't blood that makes a family. My birth family may have disowned me, but I have a family now who cares for me in ways they never could.
     
  16. RavenK

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    I came out to my mom as bi several years ago, before I knew pan existed, and she just said, "Are you sure?" And I nodded . It was nerve racking, so I barely brought it up again until I accidentally came out to my brother's girlfriend as pan when we were talking. I think she told my mom, because my mom just knew one day. Since then, my mom's been supportive, and often brings up LGBTQ+ issues.
     
  17. Love4Ever

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    I don't have anything to report right now. But I'll get back to you on Thursday. I'm coming out then to my mom.
     
  18. Libra Neko

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    They said, literally: "We know."
     
  19. Aussie792

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    I introduced them to my then-boyfriend. It wasn't really a big deal - there wasn't really any reaction to my sexuality - there was more curiosity about whether I had a good partner.
     
  20. Love4Ever

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    Wow! That's a great reaction. If I knew this would be my parent's reaction, I'm not sure I would bother coming out. Well, maybe I'd still need too. I need them to know the truth and I don't want to wait to be in a relationship.