1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How did you know you were truly trans?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Eli Revol, Sep 22, 2015.

  1. Megan335

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Some people say they have known since they were 5, for me though I started suspecting, but not really taking seriously, that I am really a girl on the inside, around age 14 or 15. I just started taking these feelings seriously this year.

    Sure there's small hints of doubt that come up in my mind, but most of that is because I don't feel like a stereotypical girl, but as people have told me here I don't have to be like the majority of girls or do a lot of what is considered "girly" in society I guess.

    Anyway how I know is that over the past few years, every or at least the majority of days, I have fantasized a ton about being a girl. Mostly as society seeing me as one and of course the physical aspect of it too, as in imagining me having a girls body made me feel happy. At first I thought it was all just attraction, which yes I am attracted to girls, but also desired to be one and I only realized that deep down I wanted to be a girl this year, even if not really girly or stereotypical. Once I realized I am a girl on the inside I have felt a lot of physical and social dysphoria which I am trying to live with. Before that I was ok with my body, but now I am definitely not. Maybe accepting you feel like the opposite gender instead of trying to fight it kind of amplifies dysphoria some?

    Anyway I hope this helped.
     
    #21 Megan335, Sep 24, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2015
  2. Lazuri

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2,710
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I watched a video of SRS for MtF and thought "this seems like an excellent idea. Where do I sign up?" That's when I knew.
     
  3. InLoveWithAGirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    This reminds me of me so much! Its what i am going through right now and i am still questioning. But I hate looking in the mirror after a shower. It is the most disgusting thing. My boobs don't feel right. I have always hated them. A lot of people think i just want smaller boobs, but I don't want any. Never liked my name, so I decided on a new masculine name. It made me so happy. I heard a guy behind me say 'is that a guy or a girl?' And it made me so happy because i thought 'if they can see that, maybe im stepping in the right direction'.

    I'm still not a hundred percent certain but I've been 'transitioning' as much as I can. Acting more like the me that is inside, the one i normally hide, and it feels great.
     
  4. FootballFan101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Europe
    I started having a freakout when I seen I had a very small whisper of a mustache. I feel dysphoria and I cross dressed and it felt right so I think I might be trans
     
  5. Megan335

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    yeah I start feeling a little sick when seeing too much facial hair.
     
  6. Mateo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, FL.
    I never really associated myself with being female even as a kid it felt awkward and wrong. I don't believe there was really defining moment for me, just quietly appeared into my head as if it had always been there.

    I do however remember being like 6 years old give or take and wondering what happened to my penis or if it would one day just "grow out"

    I'm not 100% sure I Identify with male though
     
  7. ghostpeppers

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Same as this. I spent a lot of time wishing I wishing I was a guy, even fantasizing during masturbation that I was one. (tmi sorry)
     
  8. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Very much the same with me but I did try being female for so long. After finally questioning and exploring I know I'll never be able to see myself as female again. I never really had a point where I realized I was trans, it was just something that dawned on me slowly, which is great because change is something I have to take in slowly
     
  9. baconpox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    964
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    1) Top dysphoria 2) I could never imagine myself growing old until I imagined myself as a guy
     
  10. Bastian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Old Continent
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    When my friend tried to practice her make up skills on me and we ended up with the result of me looking like a really weird transvestite.
    "Hey, girls are supposed to look better with the make up, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??"
    What was wrong with me?
    Everything.
     
  11. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    848
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I kept fantasizing of one day waking up as a guy. I wanted to sleep with nothing on but boxers, and wake up shirtless and hairy. I wanted to have a stubbly chin and be able to grow a beard.

    That along with your usual nauseating dose of hell (aka gender dysphoria)... which led to self-harming and suicidal idealation because of my female body. I knew that "normal girls" didn't have thoughts like I did. In fact, nothing about me rung "female" except the body I was forced into... It just took me realizing what everything meant.

    The day I found the word transgender and understood what it meant, and that there was hope for someone like me... the biggest and brightest lightbulb exploded in my brain.
     
  12. FootballFan101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Europe
    i relate but the other way round

    Just to add for me I always acted emotionally femine and I spent a whole 2 months trying to figure it out. I look back at my memories and theres evidence there too, I always crossed my legs and put my hands on hips. I would wonder why girls could wear boy clothes but boys couldnt wear girls clothes. When me and my dad were atthe pool or beach I looked at his hairs and wondered I dont want that. Since the start of the summer ive had dysphoria


    What does everyone else think does that seem trans?
     
    #32 FootballFan101, Sep 25, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2015
  13. spoke ears

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2015
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    So true! That's one of my clues that I wasn't cis
     
  14. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    848
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Another random childhood clue:

    As a kid, in video games or imaginary adventures with my brothers, I'd always play a male character. And this was way before I even had heard of transgender...

    That and every role model I've ever had has been a man.
     
    #34 Kodo, Sep 26, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2015
  15. Bastian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Old Continent
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    THIS THIS THIS!!!
    Seems like I am actually ignoring the women/girls role models at all.
     
  16. Mateo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, FL.
    I agree with you on the change thing me and change don't get along normally. Which is I think part of the reason I haven't came out or started transitioning yet.
     
  17. middleageguy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    The word transgender did not exist in the 70's we were called "Tomboys" and expected to out grow what was called a phase. I was filing out a medical form and got to the check male or female box. That was when I knew I could not keep pretending to be a woman.
     
  18. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    when i was finally able to acknowledge that there is a male and a female living in my body, and between the 2 of us we make a whole person rather than a partial one trying to be whole while pushing the other in a small box and keeping her there.
     
  19. InfinityonHigh

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2015
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Oregon
    This is so relatable, 90% of what I see here is something I've felt myself.

    Also, this one thought I had when I was 7 or 8 really surprised me in hindsight. One day my mom told me the whole "penis=boy, vagina=girl" thing, and guess what i thought to myself? i asked myself "what makes someone's reproductive organs match to their gender in their heads?" it was something like that. I proceeded to find out the cruelest way possible that they DON'T ALWAYS MATCH. I simply can't believe the fact that I had the concept of gender identity at such an early age, but I just did.
     
  20. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Great question.


    When I realized all that was keeping me from full on transition was laziness from having to do stuff related to transitioning, and fear of stigma. That's when I knew.

    I needed this today. Thanks. <3