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How did YOU know you were Lesbian/Bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by WinnieLucy, Aug 24, 2018.

  1. illbehere

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    Hmmm. That's a good question. Well, I've never been opposed to the idea of liking girls. I have multiple LGBTQ+ people in my family and both my family and community are pretty accepting. I first started questioning a little over a year ago. I had sort of noticed a girl and thought she was cute. This made me think I was bi-curious. Then soon after, I realized I had a crush on her best friend haha. This made me wonder if I was really bisexual. I began taking internet quizzes, as one does when they are confused, obviously, and I joined EC.

    Here, I posted a bunch and got a lot of good advice from a ton of different people. I lived with the label bisexual for a while, my crush on the girl ensued and I came out to a couple of my friends. I had always been open to dating non-binary, genderfluid people etc. Then when I was watching tv and there was a trans character, played by a non-binary actor, I realized hey maybe I may not be bi. Keep in mind that this was before I knew bisexuality includes non-binary people, etc.

    I came across the label pansexual and that seemed to fit pretty well up until recently. I don''t really care about the person I'm with's gender. I could like who I liked and thats it. Lately, I realized that I lean much more towards girls than I do guys, although I do have some attraction to guys. I started to question if I was gay and I got really freaked out. That label didn't really fit right. But when I tried to go back to pansexual, something was wrong. Right now, I'm just calling myself "not straight," although the label of pansexual is starting to feel more and more comfortable again.

    Now, I am planning to come out to my family as "not straight." Sooo yea. Thats my story.
     
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  2. Silveroot

    Silveroot Guest

    It was a struggle for sure. It was something I worried about for years without being able to take it seriously and deal with it. I didn't have any base knowledge to compare my experiences. Being gay or lesbian was used in everyday speech as an insult and not as a description of someone's orientation. Even speaking about gay issues was something that was done in hushed tones, it was and still is a taboo.

    It took me a long time to realize it. If I didn't have access to porn as any curious person had in their adolescence, I wouldn't even know people of the same sex could be sexually expressive with each other, I wouldn't know it was possible. Of course I had experienced more than friendly feelings for girls of my age back-then, but until that point, nobody had told me it can happen, which is why I thought I was straight. It was as if I had found something I couldn't stop thinking about though. It troubled me how I was drawn to images of naked women. I understood it could put me into serious trouble as I was already an outcast at school. I was also unable to confide it to my parents, at the time it was the last thing they could deal with. So I did my best to survive, got angry with my behavior, avoided it, locked it away. It kept me safe, alive. At the same time it was something that made me smile. The thought of a female partner. It was a secret. It became a secret that I kept even from my conscious self.

    But now things are different. I'm not the same person, I don't have a weird environment at home to worry about. University is another story. People are into their closed into their little homophobic world there. At least I'm honest with the people that matter the most to me. Myself, my mother and a couple of close friends.

    So for me it wasn't as much as a definite moment, it was a moment I decided I wanted to know, without fear, condemnation or shame and I said so to myself. Things that helped a lot was my renewed sense of confidence, from the decisions I've made for myself in general, a sense of trust in the divinity and gratitude. Fear only served in keeping me 'comfortably' trapped in my helplessness. Once I felt I didn't want to be like this anymore and meant it, the truth appeared to me like the sun appears behind a cloud.
     
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  3. Love4Ever

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    This is really nicely written. I am glad you are in a better place now to accept yourself.
     
  4. WinnieLucy

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    So I just thought I’d update this a little...so after a year apart at uni, I caught up with this girl and we went shopping....dunno how we got onto it but she told me she was bi and given she had just opened up I did the same and told her that I was bi.

    Happiest moment of my life so far, and the feeling of getting this off my chest and actually telling someone...let alone the girl that I like...is incredible. Thanks for all the discussion on this post guys it’s so good to hear from everybody else:slight_smile:))))