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How did you get over being gay?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wildteenager, Dec 17, 2016.

  1. wildteenager

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    So i am going to talk about the procesus i've been through to totally accept myself.
    I realised i was attracted to a girl for the first time when i was 18 years old. It turned out she was a lesbian and was in love with me, we dated for 2 years.

    I cheated on her with a lot of men so i wouldn't feel " gay " and show society i was seeing men. I prefered being a hoe than a lesbian. :eusa_liar I cried myself to sleep everyday when i was with her, i felt dirty after i touched her, i'd turn off my phone for hours each week and lay down alone in my room to self loath myself. :icon_sad::icon_sad:
    I never thought she was pretty to be honest, i just liked how she acted, how she made me feel, i don't think i was really in love with her, at least not as muc as she was in love with me.

    2 years after, she've had enough and she dumped me ( now i can totally get her) i cried a lot, i had none to talk to, she was my girlfriend, my best friend, my everything. As she forbid me from having lesbian friends when we were together, i was so lonely and really sad when she started seeing someone else. :confused::confused:

    I came out to a friend of mine so i could tell her everything, i was surprised when she accepted me considering how narrow minded and religious i thought she was.

    I got back on my feet and i made some female gay friends, that's when i actually realised how attracted i was to women, i was in LGBT association where all girls were so pretty, funny and intelligent. Being with them, they never asked about my sexuality and that helped me accept myself little by little. i saw how " normal " their lives actually are, nothing was wrong with them, so nothing should be wrong with me.
    Some of the lesbian couples are together for more than 6 years and they didn't whore around as much as i thought.

    I fell in love with the second girl when i was 21,she was different we didn't last much but with her i felt that being gay is good as i could be with a girl as perfect as her.

    So wherever you are, you are not alone, i accepted myself in 3 years thanks to books, movies, friends and LGBT associations. Join the neart commaunity at least for a while.
    :icon_wink the hottest girls always hang around thee
     
  2. Creativemind

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    Obviously, what you did to the first girl wasn't good, but you know that by now. This is a good reminder to anyone young that you need to be out of the closet and accept yourself fully before you start dating. Note: I am not hating on you or judging you at all, I'm just saying that It's good that you finally realized there was a problem. I see a lot of people on EC who want to date while closeted and it really proves that it is never a good idea.

    As for me, I actually turned sex-repulsed when I wasn't accepting my homosexuality simply because being with a man completely disgusted me even more than being gay did. I wasn't able to fake being closeted because of my disgust toward engaging in hetero sex. So I just avoided ALL sexual matters until I desensitized myself. Eventually, I came around.
     
  3. Kaden216

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    Whoa, this actually puts some things in perspective for me... In college, I went to see a counselor (she was so awesome) because I had this terrible fear of sex. Around the same time, I had started having romantic dreams about my female best friend, but I didn't know that I wasn't straight at the time (or, at least, I had never known it was an option). I have to wonder now if my fear of sex might've been linked to me not understanding my orientation well at the time. Thankfully, I've managed to work through most of that now and have a much better understanding of myself. :slight_smile:
     
  4. wildteenager

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    I wish someone would have told me this when i was 18 and i hated myself for being gay. I was sad, she was sad, every guy i dated was sad.

    I am really ashamed by what i've done, i can't blame her but it was because of her that i didn't make any lesbian friends. She is still deep in the closet until now.

    Life is good, we should just not pay attention to haters!

    ---------- Post added 17th Dec 2016 at 03:19 PM ----------

    I wish someone would have told me this when i was 18 and i hated myself for being gay. I was sad, she was sad, every guy i dated was sad. :bang:

    I am really ashamed by what i've done, i can't blame her but it was because of her that i didn't make any lesbian friends. She is still deep in the closet until now.

    Life is good, we should just not pay attention to haters!:thumbsup:
     
  5. AuroraBorealis

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    I knew that I was attracted to girls at a very young age, at least 7 or 8 I had feelings that I didn't understand because I didn't know what a lesbian was and in my mind I'd think "what if I like girls like girls are supposed to like boys? Are there girls that do that? Am I the only one ever that has felt this way?" The thoughts and questions scared me.

    Fast forward to being 11, that's when I got my first full blown crush on a girl that lasted for three years. I didn't hate myself for this at first, I was confused at why it didn't bother me, but it didn't. I guess I thought that even though I liked a girl, maybe it was a one time thing and I wasn't thinking about the future.

    Something happened when I was 13, it hit me. I thought about the future and I realized that what I felt for this girl...told me something about myself that I had to face, it was a reality. I looked at myself and I looked at my past and was pretty convinced that I was a lesbian. That's when the self hate started. I started self harming and I didn't feel worthy enough to be around the ones I loved. The only thing that could get me passed that at the time was telling myself "don't label yourself." If I denied the label, for some odd reason I was okay.

    My crush moved away that year, and when I started the next year of school I met my ex. I liked her from second or third time I spoke to her. We started dating and I became a lot happier, I still wasn't comfortable with admitting I was a lesbian, but I was crazy about her and it worked. We lasted for two years.

    During the past five years I've gradually become more accepting of myself. I've come to accept that I'm a lesbian and it's something I'm comfortable with.
     
  6. Hunter8

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    I always thought I would be less of a man if I were gay. But the truth is that I never liked sports all that much and all those traditional manly things. I was always a bit on the feminine side in what I liked, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay to not be the textbook straight male. I can be male and be gay and flamboyant.
     
  7. CROSSY ROAD

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    Honestly, I am bisexual, but I am mostly attracted to women. I don't get over being gay and I actually prefer it. I don't care how society sees me. Hell, my whole Mormon church knows and that is a helluva lot of awkwardness.
     
  8. Theo Weiss

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  9. europeanguy

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    you had it much worse then me, but i guess im still in the process. like i cant say gay or boyfriend out-loud and usually when refering to the sex of a future partner i refer to them as "they" or "them" even though the people im usually talking to about it know im gay. I do feel a rather large amount of shame or embarassment about it. but id never tell the person id be with (as I wouldn't like to burden them with it, its not their problem....its just the way i work haha). but granted I haven't had a real relationship (literally one guy who said all sorts of things and then months later of not talking to me it turns out he lied, he was just desperate and depressed.....). so maybe if i went out and did "gay" things id get more accustomed and it would become normal.


    ramble ramble ramble haha, i do go on for ages once i get going. but thats it really, im not really there yet, but it isn't a huge issue. im glad you got over yours! that gives hope and the knowledge that its completely possible to come back from that far :slight_smile:
     
  10. Nanodae

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    I think when I initially started to like girls, I tried to push the thoughts away and try to focus on guys because that was what was accepted. In the end, I started dating my male best friend who was really into me.. and then I knew I couldn't let it drag on because I wasn't true to myself. He did know I liked girls but believed he could turn me. I wasn't true to him either I guess.

    Fast forward a few years, I've developed more as a person and began to accept that I cannot picture being with a man for the sake of appearing 'normal' or making my family proud. Feeling like I had to push the thoughts away and self-denial was really hurting me, so I had to embrace myself for me.

    I've now accepted the fact that I am a lesbian. I am out to some friends and co-workers, and out to those who ask me... but will take some time before I come out to any family.
     
  11. Assassin'sKat

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    I'm still not "over it". Still working on accepting myself. That's part of why I'm here.
     
  12. bookreader

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    Being gay felt natural to me, so I had no problem accepting myself.
     
  13. Cinis

    Cinis Guest

    I came out at around 11/12 so my answer for internal struggle is simple : I just look at that cute girl I like smiling and I know there's nothing wrong, because what could ever be wrong about love.

    As for society...that used to be the same as above..then I grew up and understood that they would never see it the way I do. So...I'm just gonna prove them wrong. If they still don't get it..well..that doesn't change that I'm happy does it?
    ( And if I can't quite believe that yet , I'll just fake it till I make it.)

    The only true problem I ever had was boys...it's...complicated..and will maybe take a while..but..we'll see.