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How did you come to know definitively that you are bisexual as opposed to being bi - curious.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Moxely, Mar 20, 2021.

  1. Moxely

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    I think that’s might be what I’m trying to figure out. I feel like my heterosexuality centers around romance, the allure of women. My homosexual feelings center around a fascination or preference for the male sex organ. I may have other feelings for men but those seem ambiguous in my mind.
     
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  2. Moxely

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    Trying to find clarity in how I am feeling is impossible. The feelings are erratic. One moment I am totally convinced I passionately want a relationship with a man. And at another time “I’m not feeling it”. Just to clarify there are moments when I do feel like I long for an emotional connection to a man. When my mind goes there I feel intense arousal. And still at other times I’ve thought I’ve made much of it as a distraction from an unsatisfactory sex life. I imagine too, that men are not the hassle women are.
     
  3. Moxely

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    Meaning that in my imagination relationships with men are less complicated re: Venus and Mars.
     
  4. Kevins1197

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    That’s the way I am too.
     
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  5. Moxely

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    It's good to know in not alone in feeling this way. Thanks!
     
  6. Embarassed

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    I often call myself bisexual, and have for a long time, because none of the other standard labels fit me. But I've known that, while I'm attracted to both women and men, I find myself uninterested the sort of sex that most seem to be into. Eventually, I realized that it wasn't the gender of the partner that attracted me but their willingness to "play" with kink and fetish. This hasn't made life easy for me. Most of the people I like as people are not oriented toward these things. But, once I realized that this was my true sexuality, I at least got clarity on what being "bisexual" means for me.
     
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  7. Ipswichfan

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    Moxely, you practically read my mind. I call myself curious, but in the last couple years, I’ve had more close encounters with men than women. My motivation is fascination with cocks (can I say that?) rather than a guy’s looks or anything like that.
     
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  8. Barry

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    I guess it all depends how strongly you feel about being with another guy one can have actual content with a male that perhaps feels the same as you as there are many bi-corious out there living a double life in privacy
     
  9. Lemony

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    When saying I was bisexual made my feelings for women make sense. Why I’ve been aroused by women in the past, why I’ve wanted to kiss women from a young age and can see myself in a relationship with a woman. I am more attracted to men than women so it took a while for me to fully realise I wasn't actually straight. That does not mean that my attraction to women isn't valid or real. It doesn't have to be 100% liking both genders. As long as you have the capacity to be attracted to the same sex sexually, romantically etc you’re bisexual unless you feel more comfortable with a different label.
     
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  10. Tightrope

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    Experimentation before the age of 22. The sex is definitely different and it's always different.

    I think what's in your dreams when you're asleep might be a better indicator than fantasy or porn. My dreams are mixed and fairly mixed up!

    I confuse guilt and shame. I need to have the difference explained to me every now and them. I've never really felt guilty about sexual experiences when growing up. If you're doing something consensual with someone who is about the same age, then I didn't see the issue. Sex was never a hot button topic in our house. I would not have wanted people to know because they would have been critical without understanding that it just doesn't matter and I didn't feel like fighting an uphill battle just to defend or justify some casual sex in my youth and at different times later.
     
  11. Bastion

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    While I used to have a similar line of thought as you. But not anymore. In my experience, It did not add up in real life and I came to the conclusion that they each have their own unique complexities. Women are more in touch with their emotions than men in my opinion. Thats why their way of thinking might be different.
     
  12. BirdWatcher87

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    Throughout most of my life (now in my mid-30’s), I always got a feeling in my heart and body when I saw a good looking guy on TV, in the movies, or in pictures. When I entered my 20’s, I kept on researching into more about bisexuality and saw the bi-curious label and thought for most my 20’s that I was just curious about the same sex.

    It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I began to notice I had stronger feelings for guys too, more in a physical/sexual way.

    After a lot of heart searching and research, I finally came out to myself that I was bisexual and at first it was a hard thing to hear myself say, but as I said it more and more to myself, it was one of the greatest feelings and relief to myself and my heart!

    My strongest feelings in all ways are for females, but knowing that I can be attracted and have certain feelings for guys as well is a wonderful feeling and makes me feel happy :slight_smile:.

    There are times when my feelings for guys are not as strong on certain days, but I’m proud to be bisexual even if I only come out to myself for now.

    Wishing all of you a perfect day! :slight_smile:
     
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  13. WindyMom

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    I realized I was bisexual in high school when I was on the high school swim team. I knew I liked guys but loved some of the curves of the girls in the showers