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How can I tell my family?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lorelai, Nov 16, 2020.

  1. Lorelai

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Okay, so I practiced like a bunch of times before my parents came home, my younger sister already knows that I'm bisexual, and she supports me, but I'm just worried how my mom might react. My dad already knows, but I think he was a combination of drunk and tired, but he said that he supports me and still loves me. My youngest sister, she always said that I never hang around boys, so she just assumes that I'm gay, but if I tell her that she's sort of right, then she might mock me.
    I want to tell my mom that God made me in his image, and I'm still me, just with a new identity. I'm just worried that she'll react in a negative way! If you have any advice, please tell me.
     
  2. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Lorelai.....Hello and just in case no one else has said it....welcome to Empty Closets!
    ..........Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! The most important two factors in deciding when to come out are: 1) Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you...not them. and... 2) Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important. Being out in high school is easier now than it used to be...but depending on your school and your relationship with other students, it can be problematic. Try to evaluate these things and see what you seriously think about the results of coming out would be. Sometimes waiting...even when it is so difficult...is the only safe way to come out.
    ..........Please don't get into a rush about coming out...you have plenty of time! You might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to tell your mom. There are some great sample coming out letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! An additional plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can easily go bad. It gives the people reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had years to think about your sexuality...giving them at least some time to think about it only seems fair as well as getting you out of a potentially difficult, emotion-based conversation! Check the letters out (see below)...they could be a real comfort! Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or 10 years from now, your parents and friends will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're gay?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal dependent upon your family and friends...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of ten or so questions with the answers already planned, you will be perceived as a more mature, thoughtful person.
    ..........COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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