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How can I tell if she's a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SnixxJuice, Jul 1, 2016.

  1. SnixxJuice

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    So I have this crush...
     
  2. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    Hmmmm interesting. So there are a lot of ways you can do this. First, are you on a level with her where you could have regular conversations? If not, you may need to work on getting there first.

    If so, perhaps try to bring up random lgbt+ related topics and see how she responds, use that to get a feel for things. Perhaps, if you feel comfortable at any point, mentioning that you find a female celeb hot or something to that affect so that she's made aware that you're not straight. Or if you want to be more low-key, do something like setting a phone background to a hot girl or the lgbt flag and low-key making sure she sees it while your phone is out.

    If you become more close to her, it may even be alright to just ask. Or perhaps, you could try a little bit of flirtatiousness, probably just extra smiles and glances if you think that would be okay.

    I hope some of this helps and goooood luck!!!
     
  3. Jax12

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    Eye contact.

    If she turns away when you look at her, that's something to look into but ultimately not the only sign you would look for.
     
  4. love23cali

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    Even eye contact isn't a surefire way to know...Generally, whether or not they hold it isn't what you should be looking for, because some women turn away when they like someone and others will hold the gaze. Sometimes, it just depends on the woman's mood. When daring, she'll hold it while on other occasions, your gaze might make her nervous.

    If you want to consider eye contact, you have to look for the gleam in their eyes. Their expression will light up completely when they like you. Their pupils dilate and the black reflects more light...their eyes will then appear to sparkle. You should be able to see this. It's been obvious to me when I've seen it. It doesn't always mean they want you - sometimes they're just in a playful, flirty mood with you and are enjoying it.

    I was/am a rare case though when I like someone. Particularly in the past, I was so conscious about my sexuality and about hiding it, that a person could not tell whatsoever that I was interested. While most people have a particular look or gleam in their eyes, I looked indifferent around those that I liked. Thus, there really isn't a definitive way to tell unless they admit it themselves.

    Some clues:

    -When talking about dating, they do not specify a gender. They often use the term "they" or "people"...Examples: "When I get married, *they* better give me a nice looking ring"; "I'm not usually into *people* with two thumbs."; "I want to date *someone* that has a Safeway membership card." I do this sometimes....Straight women will usually say "I want a guy that..."; "The type of man I want to marry"; etc...

    -You might catch them checking out other women when they don't think they're being watched. Some people aren't totally self aware when they see a beautiful woman walk in the room.

    -If you hint about possibly being bi or lesbian, they'll likely leave a hint as well about their sexuality...Example: If you state that Mila Kunis is hot, she might agree. They'll feel safer telling another bi/les girl and, frankly, they more than likely know that they need more bi/les friends in this hetero world!

    -A lot of lesbians pay more attention to women (obviously). They tend to give more attention to women in their lives. This isn't to say that lesbians don't respect men and view them as friends...because we all do. Lesbians just tend to be sweeter to women and closer to women. A lot of lesbians do have somewhat of a barrier up while around men. Any flirting or special attention is simply not reciprocated whatsoever. Any guy friend you see her with is obviously held at a distance...zero chemistry evidenced. Just observe her interactions with both the men and the women that are around her. She'll let her boundaries down more for other women.

    There are other clues I'm sure...I'll comment again if I can think of more.
     
    #4 love23cali, Jul 2, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2016